WTF Wednesday: When Helping the Homeless Goes Terribly Wrong

I have a confession to make. 

I'm stupid. 

Like really and truly stupid sometimes. 

Not stupid as in repeatedly trying to make the square peg fit in the round hole but stupid as in sometimes I just make very bad decisions. Intentionally. Fully knowing what the repercussions could be. I just big fat do it anyway. 

Stupid. 

It should also be known that I don't work in the best part of town. I love my job and I love my campus, but it is situated near some pretty bad neighborhoods. 

As I'm headed out to lunch, I'm stuck at a stoplight that could be consider "the hood." As I'm looking longfullly onward to my destination, up ahead I see a homeless man struggling to get across the street in his wheelchair. 

And when I say struggling, I mean he is stuck in the middle of my lane (the far right lane) and his wheelchair might as well have square wheels. He ain't going anywhere. And he is trying to cross four lanes. 

I thought to myself, "Well shit. What am I going to do when this turns green and I am wheelchair to car with him?" 

And then the light turned green. Think fast, Turner. 

He was in no better shape once I drove the 20 feet than he was when I was stopped so I had to stop my car lest I damage him, his wheelchair, and my car. 

So on a four lane street in the hood, I stopped my car, turned it off with my purse inside, turned on the flashers, and got out... keys still in it. 

STUPID!!!!!

I approached the man and asked him if I could help him. He said, "Yes ma'am if you can just get me across the street."

"Across the street" is four lanes away from my car that I have now put flashing lights on basically saying, "FREE CAR!!! RIGHT HERE!!! FREE CAR!!!!" 

About that time another young man started approaching from the gas station we were at. And I immediately start thinking, "Well this is how I'm going to make it on the news. I fell for a 'help me, I'm poor' scam." 

He asks, "Do you have him?" 

I said, "Well it'd be great if you could get him across the street so I can get back in my car."

This is when the homeless man in the wheelchair LOST. HIS. SHIT. 

He starts screaming, "FUCK YOU MAN! I DON'T WANT YOU FUCKING TOUCHING ME! YOU LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!!!"

That startled me a bit. It was quite unexpected. 

The man from the gas station then proceeds to lose his shit by yelling, "FINE THEN! FUCK YOU TOO! I HOPE YOU GET SPLATTERED BY A FUCKING BUS!!!" 

Meanwhile, itty bitty white girl is standing in the middle of four lanes of stopped traffic in the hood wondering, 
"WHAT THE EFF JUST HAPPENED?!?!?!" 

I finally realized it was up to me and I wasn't a part of some scam to steal cars away from unsuspecting stupid girls so I pushed him across the street. I need you to imagine pushing in its finest sense because let me tell you, that chair was BROKEN!!!! No turny... no turny at all. It was brute strength (which I don't have) and donkey butt (which I have plenty). 

When we got to the other side of the street (still with four lanes of captive audience), the man in the chair says, "Can you do me a favor?" 



I'm sorry what?! I just risked life and limb and car for you. Aren't you considered, "All favored out," right now?!

I said, "Sir, I have to get back to my car." 

Honking has started at this point. 

He said, "I'm homeless and hungry. Can you please help me get a meal?" 

I said, "Sir, I'm so sorry. But I don't have cash on me and my car is over there. I have to go." 

He said, "Please ma'am. I need some help getting some food." 

I finally awkwardly jumped around and stuttered,  just shouting as I was running away, "Sorry sir! I just can't!" 

I jumped in my car, started it, checked that I still had a purse, and went on to the restaurant. 

Can I get an amen on WTF was that?!?!?! 

And do you think Satan will save me a warm corner in hell? I like a view.