Thrifty Thursday: Treadmill on the CHEAP

I often joke that I'm the cheapest person on the planet. After reading this story you'll know why. 

On the journey back to graduate school, I remembered the only way I could keep up with the heavy reading load was to walk on a treadmill and read. Otherwise I'd wake up with pages stuck to my cheek and a desperate need for coffee. 

That began my quest for a treadmill. 

I realize they sell these at your local Walmart but they wan't about $200 more than I'm willing to pay for one. 

I set myself a budget of $50. That was all I was willing to spend. 

I emailed the classifieds listserv at work looking for one and got several offers. 

$250

$225

$175

Uh no. Finally got an offer of $100. Still way too much. These things collect dust in every other home in the country, someone would give me one dammit!

Susan tipped me off that they had a bunch at Saver's. She saw one for $65. 

At least we are getting closer. I went to investigate. 

They had one that would work at Goodwill for $65. At Saver's they had 7 different treadmills. The ones with wires exposed and visually run down were $39.99. The ones I was interested were $64.99. 

Cheap mode kicked in and I thought, I might as well ask if I can get a better price. But before I start to haggle, I need to make sure it works. 

My first choice was wheeled over to an outlet. After telling the young man over and over again that he needed a ratchet to let the treadmill down, he FINALLY went and got one and lo and behold... we were in business. 

We plugged it in, it flashed some lights, and then promptly powered down. 

Shit. 

He commented on how it would need to be thrown away now and went to start to do just that and I said, "Well I'm still interested in another one. Let's push that one to the side and bring the other over here to see if it works." 

That's right. I'm bossy wherever I go. 

He stammered a bit but complied. We got the next one up and we have the same issue with this one. We can't get it to lower. We are trying to figure it out and the manager walks by and says, "Yeah, we don't know how to get that one lowered. If you want to take a chance on it I'll sell it to you for $2." 

I politely declined as I was in the market for a working treadmill and not a giant ass paperweight. 

Another girl that worked there came by and agreed with me that you needed to pull this lever and lower it. She pushed the dim guy aside and did it anyway. It lowered. 

Sweet. 

We plugged it in. It wouldn't power on. 

I asked the dim dude if he had turned the switch on in the front. He says, "Oh yeah." and then clicked it twice. 

Still nothing. 

DAMMIT! 

He walked away for another call and I looked at the girl and said, "I just need to see for myself." 

He had it powered off. Ack. 

I turned it on and we were in business! 

It made lights. It made walkey. It changed walkey speeds. It changed inclines. 

Hot damn! 

I said, "GO GET THE $2 MANAGER! HE OWES ME A DEAL!" 

They all had a good laugh. I said, "I'm not kidding." 

When $2 manager got there I said, "Alright, I've worked for you for the last 30 minutes and you offered this thing to me earlier for $2 if I could get the incline down. I did that and more. What's a realistic price?" 

He thought for a minute and said, "Well it is overpriced right now. I can let it go for... $14.99?" 

I said, "That'll work." 

Let me tell you about this $14.99 treadmill. 

It has a tv screen on it that connects to cable. It has an MP3 player hookup. This thing is BEAST. 

Which would explain why it is in my garage and not in my house because it WON'T FIT THROUGH THE MOTHER PUPPY DOOR! 

It took three grown men to get it in the back of the truck. Then there was just me and Jonah (16 year old) to get it out of the truck. 

We were struggling something fierce and we hear this vagrant from the street (dressed head to toe in hunter green and wearing army boots) say, "Ya'll need some help?"

Jonah and I locked eyes like, "is this a good idea?" without saying a word. Then we both looked at the sketchy looking man and said, "Yes we do!" 

It was worth the murder risk at that point. 

We get it out of the truck and off he went. We managed to get it to the front door. That's when we realized going in the door was not an option. We needed major help. 

I'm sweating from places on my body I didn't know could sweat. We try a few different ways. I heckle my neighbors for help. They also conclude that it wasn't going in that door and we'd need to take it apart to fit. 

We get it in the garage and start to take it apart. We got nuts and bolts and screws out and it seems promising... 

... and this whole damn thing stays together. In tact. 

AGHGHGHGHGHGHGH!

We quit. We were bathed in our sweat and the dirt from my garage and it wasn't in the cards. 

Susan came out later that night. Same result. Except when we tried to move it to the side the damn belt came off (like we were trying to do desperately earlier in the day!). It exposed a wire casing that gives us about 6 inches of wiggle room. 

Before you give me advice on this, remember: 

We tried taking the doors off the hinges. 

We tried on its side, top,  bottom, upside-down, and topsy turvy. We were the Kama Sutra of treadmill transportation. 

I'm familiar with Friends and the principal of PIVOT. 

I've invited special guests to a "Treadmill Raising" on Monday night. This thing is getting in my house come hell or high water. 

I'm not wasting my $14.99!!!

Thrifty Thursday: I'm a Two-Speed Pony

Self-awareness is important for your personal success. I whole-heartedly believe this. 

You need to know what you do well and what you don't. I need to know why I prefer to act a certain way and why others do not. 

So much so that I take personality tests all the time. 

I can answer all of the following questions: 

What is your Myer's Briggs type? 
 ISFJ

What are your top five strengths?
Empathy, Developer, Adaptability, Relator, Belief

What is your color? 
Even mix of gold and blue

What is your animal? 
Koala

Are you a type A or type B personality? 
Type A (and all who know me and this test in particular are all giggling at the idea I could ever be classified as type B)

You name it, I've taken it and I've read about what it says about me as an individual. 

One thing none of these really address is the fact that everything in my life comes in one of two speeds: 

1) Not moving at all (parked, stationary, completely inactive)

2) Super turbo fast (hard and fast, full concentration with a heaping helping of perfection)

That's it. That's all I've got.

And because I come in two speeds, I'm often left extremely frustrated. 

Chop chop, people! Why don't you go at my pace?! Can't you see this is important?! Can't you see how awesome this is going to be?! WHY DON'T YOU CARE AS MUCH AS I DO?!?!

It frustrates me to no end! I frequently get to a point at work where I can literally do nothing else on a project until someone else does something. 

And this is my face while I'm waiting on them while watching their activity on Facebook.

And I think 15 steps ahead of everyone. So when people are actually shocked that something has gone wrong when I saw it coming a mile away and more often than not, warned them it would happen, it baffles me. 

This is just some insight into my brain. 

Recently, we (Justin and I) made a very important decision. We live with the belief that debt is the devil. We both want to adopt. We both want me to get my doctoral degree. 

Those three goals DO. NOT. MIX. 

We made a plan about a year ago to get X amount in savings, then pay for doctoral classes without loans, finish the degree, then pursue adoption. 

While we had a plan and that was all well and good, it didn't seem like we were moving fast enough. Saving X amount of money was going to be hard and take a long time. 

I'm not a big fan of waiting. 

Interestingly enough, this is how Justin actually wakes up.

Recently, my institution re-instated the graduate degree discount for employees. 

That's right. I get to enroll in my doctoral program at 90% off! 

Shut. Up. 

I get to accomplish a goal AND be cheap?! THERE REALLY IS A GOD! 

So in true Rikki fashion, I filled out my graduate school application, got a transcript from my previous degrees together, and had a meeting scheduled with the director of the department within the first week. Then I scheduled my GRE for Monday. 

That's right. Less than a week away. 

I'll study this weekend and take it on Monday. 

And I'm enrolling in my first class in July. 

Why wait? There is no reason other than to let time pass and the time will pass anyway so  I might as well make some progress. 

Holy smokes, Batman. I did it. 

When I feel froggy, I jump. And damn did I jump! 

This is a big deal for me and I'm very excited about it. I've wanted to go back to school since about the moment I stopped... and that should say something about my dork level because I WORK AT A UNIVERSITY! You would think I'd be all funned out by now. 

But in my line of work, it is becoming increasingly difficult to rise to a higher position without a terminal degree. If I can achieve it, I need to. Job security is everything. And since I'm batshit crazy a big ole' dork, it is time.

So buckle up everyone. Because in about six years (kill me now that is TOO FAR AWAY), you'll have to call me DOCTA!!! (except don't b/c that will make me really awkward and uncomfortable).

Thrifty Thursday: Booze, Food, and Shopping for Under $30

That's right. 


If you read my last post, you know this has been a bad week. I haven't shared everything with you all out of respect for my family, but it has basically been all bad here lately. 

Because the lady that watches Sam is an angel with wings spun from unicorn hair, she typically keeps Sam on Wednesday nights. 

Yes, she either loves me, Sam, or both of us so much that she keeps my child overnight once a week so we can have a night off and so she can have time with Sam. No need to tell me how lucky I am. I fully understand. 

 So last night, Justin wasn't feeling well and Gena wanted to go drink... so we did! 

And this, my friends, is how you have a night out on the town for under $30. 

Santo Coyote has $2 margaritas on Wednesday nights. 

YES! 

They also have the best queso in the tri-state area. 

EVEN YESSER! 

We had a large queso, split some fajitas, and had two margaritas each. $13 total. 

That is how you do it. 

We also got mega hit on my the super awkward waiter. He was nice, don't get me wrong, but lacked game. 

At the end when he was handing me back my credit card, he says, "So are you married?"

Me: "Yes."

Him: "I thought so. I mean I saw you ring but I didn't think that was your name." 

I love this part in the conversation (any conversation having to do with my name). Why do people find it so absurd that my name is Rikki? 

I mean, it is a dude's name. I get that. Lawd knows I do. But to go so far as to say that is my  husband's credit card?! Cheeza-louisa. 

I said, "Well I am married but this is really my name."

Him: "Your name is Rikki? Like your real name?"

Me: "Yes. And it is conversations like this why I tell strangers it is Betty." 

You can't mess up "Betty." Really, you can't. 

So he left after cutting his tip in half and Gena and I decided it was time to visit our mecca... GOODWILL! 

45 minutes and $15 later, I had a new pair of red heels, a long sleeve dress shirt, a red sport jacket, and a "very Rikki" polka dot blouse. 

Bitches get stuff done. On the cheap. 

Thrifty Thursday: Sodie Pop Refills!

It would appear I'm the only person in the world with this problem. 

I have noticed lately that when I am out at a restaurant, I seem to be the only one in my party that gets a refill on the way out. 

Am I the only one? 

Maybe I can't moderate my sodie pop intake and that is the trouble. 

But when I leave a restaurant that has just charged me $2 for a sodie that cost them all of 20 cents... I'M LEAVING WITH A REFILL! 

If I get back to the house or the office and want another, I get to pay another $1 - $1.50 for another one. 

WHY WOULD I DO THAT? 

It isn't like we are shipping nutritious sodie pops to the starving kids overseas... WHY NOT GET THE REFILL? 

Some people say they want to drink more water... 

But even those fools aren't getting a water to go!

Why are we you passing on this? 

And those of you who buy the gallon bucket of soda and popcorn at the movie theaters and then LEAVE WITHOUT GETTING THE REFILL... 

MIND. BLOWN.

 

It should be ever so evident now that I love to squeeze a penny and honestly, for me, this comes down to convenience AND getting the most for my money. 

I just feel like I'm leaving money on the table if I don't get the refill. 

What are your feelings on this? Are you with me or think I should be on Extreme Cheapskates? 

 

Thrifty Thursday with Nina!

I have a TREAT for you guys today. And for all you dieters,

THIS SHIT AIN'T SUGAR-COATED!

Nina for The Nina Show is the bomb-diggety at budgets and craftiness and badassness.

Check her resume. All are on there.

Not to mention she is a Pinterest legend, blogging guru, and a bad mamma-jamma all at the same time.

When I knew I'd be out of town for Thrifty Thursday, I asked her to come up with a rad post for you guys and whoa did she.


Read. Enjoy. Follow her. SAVE MONEY.


 

Thanks Jesus. Now I have a crapton of credit card bills and a low flow of dolla bills to go with.



That, America, is why we can't get our shit together. Want. Buy. Broke. Buy More. Charge. Debt. Depression. Buy more to make ya happy.



It's a vicious cycle it is.



Girl STOP. You do not need that Michael Kors purse....or the wallet. If you want to get your shit together financially...you have to sit your ass down & plan that shit out and put yourself on lock down.



Yes. LOCK DOWN. I realize this is coming from a girl who has no clue how much is currently in her bank account because she's too scared to look. I just keep swiping & praying I don't hear dat decline ding.

 

BUT...my friends..I may not always practice what I preach..but I FO SHO know my shit.



Let's get real now...sitting down & making a budget..AND FOLLOWING THAT BUDGET...it's the only way. Life isn't all cupcakes & unicorns...your budget & discipline is not going to just float in on a puffy white cloud and save the day. So roll up your sleeves & get busy. Do it YOself is the new black. & Thrifty Thursday is totally the new Friday. Duh.



The first step to getting your shit together is to GET ORGANIZED. This is where I'm legit a pro. I've created a fool proof, stupidly easy, do it YOself, bill paying system that will get you giddy with the "I got my shit together" feeling. Muh Bill Book post has been viewed 385,991 times and gone completely viral on Pinterest. The people love it & you will too. I show you how to organize your bills like a pro & even include some pretty rad FREE printables to get you going.

    The next step to getting becoming a financial guru is SIT DOWN & MAKE A BUDGET! Here is a simple budget sheet:

 

Click HERE to download.

Ok..listen up folks...it's not rocket science ok. $$$ you make (paychecks) minus $$$ you spend (bills & expenses) = $$$ you have left to BLOW See...easy as pie! If that budget worksheet is just a little too simple...then allow me to introduce you to something called: THE GOOGLE.

 
Just use The Google to find one that fits your needs.

NEXT...you need to take that extra money you have left over from you budget & go
buy that Michael Kors pursedecide what to do with it. The most logical thing would be to tackle your debt. If you have no debt then you can save it. But if you live in America...more than likely you have a buttload of debt. One of the best tools to tackle that debt is the DEBT SNOWBALL.

 

It's simple. It's easy. It's effective. Here is a link to some free printables that have complete detailed directions on how it works and free worksheets to. CLICK HERE to get 'em. Be sure to look down to the right on that page where it says related documents to access them all. And the last step to getting your shit together....

 

Nina OUT.

Thrifty Thursday: Risky Bizniz (Enter if you dare)

This post is edgy beyond belief. If you scare easily... back away now.



Yeah right. You are all going to proceed forward like I didn't warn you.

Fine then.




What's the fuss about?

Panties.

I realize I just did a post (a week ago... who is counting?) about disposable panties and how awful I feel they are, but my husband showed me a website last night and suffice it to say, I may not have given the "good wife" response.

You see, there are "Panty of the Month" clubs.

Did you know that?

You can sign up (or sign your wife up) for a different panty to be mailed to you every month.

Yee freaking haw.

Nothing says I love you like a piece of fabric to keep your junk from being chaffed. 

Anyway. You put in their favorite colors, their preferred styles, etc and BAM! New underoos every month!



There's more. 

You can pick the regular prude panty of the month....



OR

You can "enter if you dare" and pick more exciting "freak in the bed" panty of the month. 

The front is perfectly  normal. 

But then... BAM! 




YOUR ASS IS HANGING OUT!



Justin and I had a long conversation about these. Clearly I'm wrong. 

But what is the point!?!?!

To me those say, "Hi. I'd like some butt sex please." 

Which if you do, that's your business. What you do behind closed doors is up to you and ain't my binnizz. 

However, why go through the trouble of all that?! Buying assless panties?! That's a bit much. 

I bet going up to your husband, taking off your pants and saying, "Hey I'd like some butt sex," would work just fine too. And all the money you'll save?!?!

Also... what's the point of wearing the underwear anyway?! Want to be sexy to man? 

Just don't wear underwear at all! And tell them as they are at work or on their way out the door! They won't be able to think about anything else, it costs you nothing, and there's a little less laundry to do. 



Maybe I'm just too practical. I just see all the dollars wasted on an unfinished product that results in the same thing as if I just got naked and said, "Wanna do it?"

Is it romantic? 

No. 

Do they care? 

Men chime in here, but I'm pretty sure "naked lady who wants to have sex with me" works just fine. 

I just don't see the point in wasting the money on panties with no ass. 

What do you think? 

Thrifty Thursday

You know what is difficult to do the day after you go on a rant about selfies? 

Ask someone else to take your picture so you can do your Thrifty Thursday post... 



Anyway... without further adeiu... 

Thrifty Thursday! 

I went with the Hubby Jack "grab the elbow and look away" pose this time. I just wish I had a fence! And I wish I had a cleaner office. 

Today's outfit actually kind of cracks me up because while none of what I'm wearing was purchased in a thrift shop, I literally spent $10 on the whole thing. 

How you ask? 

The green top was purchased at JC Penney with a Christmas gift card (that I coupled with a coupon and super awesome sale... but still cost me none of my own money which is rad). 

The cardigan was purchased on clearance at Kohl's one million years ago with a gift card/coupon as well. 

The pants were also purchased at Kohl's with a Christmas gift card coupled with a major sale. 

The boots were purchased online at Target and were also on clearance for $7. 

Did you hear that?! $7 boots! This is why when people tell me they got a good deal on their boots for $75 I immediately check them for a fever or drugs... b/c they must not be feeling well to feel like that is a deal. 

The pearls were $3 at Walmart to replace the family heirloom pearls that my son broke and I haven't made time to go get fixed. And then last weekend I broke these $3 ones. 

What did I do? Had my husband rig it to wear they still worked without having to splurge on an additional $3. May seem like overkill to some, but could you tell they were broken? 

Yes I'm that cheap. But if it can be fixed, why spend money on something new? 




Okay I'm not that bad. But still, you get me? 


Seems like wasted money to me and that makes me uncomfortable and awkward. 



This is me on a date. I don't care if you tell me to order whatever I want, paying that much for food that doesn't make me younger, thinner, and funnier isn't worth it. 


This is more my style... 



And you better believe my honey buns are in the Walgreens on the 15th racking up on the good candy.