WTF Wednesday: Dear Doc, Up My Meds

I realize it was just last week that we had a WTF Wednesday about how I make very bad decisions. (If you missed it, here it is: Why Rikki is the Dumb)

But today, I've gone and proved it again.

How do I remain employed with these mad decision making skills? How do I remain married? How do I still have people that can stand to be around me?

Well... at the local library... I don't anymore. 

On Sunday I will take a 6-7 hour drive to St. Louis where I will stay for 7-8 days and then drive 6-7 hours back.

I thought this would be a perfect time to see if audio books are up my alley. But as a self proclaimed cheapskate, I am not about to test the waters with actual money.

Library to the rescue!

After I picked the kids up (yes I have two on Tuesdays), I decided, "What better place to go with two children than the library?! They have toys and books for their age... plenty of entertainment while I find the audio books I so desire!"

Heavens to Betsy I'm dumb.

On the way there we talked about how the library is a quiet place and we are quiet and we don't run and play but we sit and read books and if they were really good we would pick one out to bring home with us.

Yay-balls!

Except nope.

We went inside and I showed them their area and they seemed to be little angels.

And I walked away and someone apparently dumped water on their heads because they turned into little GREMLINS!!!



I got on to them a few times for getting too excited and running a little bit or getting to excited and yelling for me.

And then they both ended up  beside me. I had told them one million times to stay together. Then one strayed from the herd. 

Sam says, "Lily left. I'll go get her." 

I thought that was a good plan as I continued reading the audio book synopses. 

And then it happened. 

A staff member approached me and said, 

"Ma'am. Are those your kids?! They have to stay with you, they can't play hide and seek in the library!" 







Aw HELL no, you did not just get all judgy on me Mr. Library man. 

Aw HELL no, those kids better fear for their lives when I catch up with them. 

And I was tempted to say, "Aw HELL no, those aren't my kids." And turn around and keep doing what I was doing. It took a whole HEAP of self-control not to do that one. 

Since I had told them 15 times how to act in the library before we got there and 12 more times once inside, I snapped. 

I snapped like fresh green beans on paw paw's farm. 

They were on house arrest. Except at the library and I was determined I was going to get this shit done. 

So here is a list of my WTFs for this night: 

1) WTF was I thinking taking two children to the library while I had grown up shit to do?! 



I leave for St. Louis on Sunday. That leaves me exactly four other days when I don't have two 4 year olds in my care to go to the library and get audio books for the drive. FOUR OTHER DAYS!!!! 

Dear Doc, 

Up my meds. 

Sincerely, 

Me and that library dude who got snarky with me



2) WTF were those kids thinking?! 



I know, I know. They are four they don't know better... blah blah blah... 

But I find it weird that I only have to tell them to get a piece of candy once and they know right where to go and what to do. And I have a well established past of not being stable when it comes to children misbehaving. 

Four year olds can handle a lot more than we give them credit for is all I'm saying. 

They regretted their decisions by the end  of the night for sure. Mainly because they were sentenced to silence and no moving while I went bat-shit-crazy cleaning mode while shoving dark chocolate Doves dipped in peanut butter in my face as self-medication. 

I need new pants but feel much better now :-) 



3) WhyTF  do I turn into back woods country momma when I get frustrated with chillins'?!



I know I was raised by one helluva redneck woman and that shit runs deep in my blood, but here is a list of crap I said tonight that normally does not come out of my mouth on the daily. 

"Boy you best stop sassing me!"

"This is why some critters eat their young."

"You want a whoopin'?! You act like you want a whoopin'!" 

"You best find that extra hitch in your giddy-up before I feed you to angry alligators!" 

See... if the doc would just up my meds I could keep this crap on tighter lock down. 

Those poor kids were probably thinking, WTF?!