5 Reasons I Should Have Gena Babysit More Often

Yesterday at work I had a full blown mental breakdown. I mean, I kept it sort of cool on the inside, but I had an 8 hour presentation today about some pretty heavy stuff and I suddenly felt ill-prepared and that I needed to stay late at work and make sure I had everything ready to go.

Except that I have a kid and he needs picked up by 5:30 pm. That was not enough time.

I asked my husband who works 45 minutes from Little Rock if he could make it on time. I was not informed previously of his late work night.

Bummer.

So I went for the kill with Gena. And she cancelled her Zumba plans to watch my son for me so I could indulge my crazy.

Yay for best friends!!!!

Here are 5 things she told me about the night that had me rolling!

1) Burger King was built by amateurs 

Gena picked him up with intentions of taking him to Burger King so they can play. His stupid allergies limit what he can have at most places and the blessed Burger King allows him to have both french fries AND chicken nuggets together.

Except they saw that the Burger King they were headed to didn't have a Play Place.

This is where my son got super cocky and said, "Who built that Burger King? They did it wrong! You don't build a Burger King without a play place. They built it WRONG!"



You know, because he is a 4 year old architect.

2) Poop: This is not a drill!



They ventured on to "Chickalay" because those folks know how to build a damn restaurant right! (and they also have crack in the nugget... can't I get an amen?!)

Before the food got to them, Sam informed Gena he had to poop.

As a mother who has wiped that child's tootie 1,000,000 times, I get a little joy hearing someone else gets to do it. Also, I know what an ordeal it is to have him poop. He basically needs 30 minutes and your undivided attention of him screaming like a banshee and when you arrive he says, "I tricked on you. I'm not done."

Little shit.

Anyway, they go into the bathroom for a false alarm. Except this false alarm took about 15 minutes. So when they came out, they had to hunt down their food.

After they ate, he was playing in the play place. Apparently he came busting out yelling, "I NEED TO POOP! I NEED TO POOP! THERE'S NO TIME FOR SHOES!!!!!"

I bet the rest of the restaurant got a big kick out of that.

3) Diverse pooping

My son poops like he's had a long day at work. He puts his booty in the seat (not on... in), he leans back and kicks his feet up. And guys... he is in for the LONG HAUL!

Gena had not been privy to this information, so on his third attempt at pooping at her apartment, she was a bit shocked to find him vacationing in her bathroom.

The first time you see it, it is quite funny. You can't help but laugh and say, "Sam?! Why are you sitting like that?!?"

When Gena asked, his reply was, "I always sit like this. This is how they sit on toilets all over the WORLD!"



He's diverse guys. High cultured pooping going down over here.

4) Water surprises are super fun

He and Gena were having so much fun playing. They blew in each others' faces with straws (ew), they watched a movie, and they played some hide and seek.

Sam decided it was time to play another game. He told Gena to lay down on the couch and close her eyes. He had a surprise for her.

Poor, unsuspecting Gena. So naive.

You are wondering what the surprise was aren't you?

She was too. Right about that time is when he chose to dump cold water on her head!

Apparently her face did a little something like this,



which scared Sam a little bit. I, however, thought it was HILARIOUS!

5) Winky Face

As it turns out, Sam can do some face contortions all of his own. While at "Chickalay", Gena winked at him which meant he then winked at her and somehow they got to blinking both eyes at the same time.

Here is Sam's version:


Man I love that kid!