WTF Wednesday: "Selfie" as the word of the YEAR!

Oxford dictionary has claimed the word of the year 2013 is:

SELFIE

I just died a little and threw up in my mouth... all at the same time.

What a way to go...

SERIOUSLY?!?!?!?!

If you need to check, here you go:
http://www.cnn.com/2013/11/19/living/selfie-word-of-the-year/

CNN confirmed it.

Here is my "selfie" in response to the fact that "selfie" is the word of the year.

Can we just talk about how much this word freaks me out? 

Am I the only one that think "selfie" sounds really gross? Like its a little too much information? 

Example:

"Ya'll excuse me, I need to do a selfie." 

Yeah that sounds like you are going to have some private time to go double click your mouse. 

ewgrossstopsayingthat

List of words that are equally offensive and off-putting: 

Panties

Moist

Juicy

They give me the heebee-jeebies and I need folks to knock it off! 

And notice none of those got freaking word of the year?! 

Anyway... in honor of this travesty I've decided to demonstrate my impression of all the different type of "selfies" there are. This is my own little "selfie instructional guide" (that's what she said... ew!). 

The "I have a secret photographer in the car, look how cute I am when I drive" Selfie

These crack me up. Were we supposed to be wondering how you look when you drive? Do you ever wonder what others look like when they drive? I've always imagined it looks THE EXACT SAME as when they sit in a chair but I'm clearly wrong because all the time people post this one. 

The "Look How Sexy I am as a Duck" Selfie

Bless your hearts for this one. Is this supposed to be sexy? Because, maybe I'm not the audience you are going for, but I do like to go "duck hunting" on Facebook and yell "BANG!" every time I see this picture. And is the purpose to show the world how far you can purse your lips out? Remind us that you are sexy? Convince us you are sexy? You like the way it makes your chin dimple up? Help me, Tom Cruise! I need answers! 

The "Am I the Most Adorable Person on the Planet? I think so!" Selfie

Not that a lot of you guys aren't freaking adorable enough for me to roll you up and stick you in my pocket, but I have a hard time figuring out what you are trying to convey here. Is this a reminder for us that you are happy with your life so you want to show off your "glow"? Are you looking lovingly upon a puppy wrapped in a kitten cuddling with a stuffed unicorn? Inquiring minds want to know! 

The "Look at my Boobs and Shoes" Selfie

This one never ceases to crack me up. WHAT IS THIS?! (It should also be known that in order for my shoe to even show up in the picture I had to stand in the most awkward and unnatural way... good times) Is this picture to show off an outfit? Because you can't tell much about it. Is it to reduce chins? Because it almost always puts your nose at an unflattering angle. Is it to show off your shoes? Because you can't tell shit about my shoes here. Just be honest... it makes your boobs look good. Or disproportionate. Whatever. 

The "Sexy Look of Desperation" Selfie

I can't quite capture this one and I'm sorry about that. Its because it is one of the more baffling ones for me. WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE? Do you want me to think you are sad? Cute when sad? Should I call a hotline when you post this? Is it a cry for help? Am I supposed to comment on your mysterious beauty? This picture makes me so awkward both trying to re-create it and when I see it posted.

The "I Shouldn't Have Trusted that Fart" Selfie

WHAT IS THIS ONE?! Its like it is trying to say, "Look how cute and innocent I am except that I clearly want you to know about it so clearly I'm not all that cute and innocent but look how sexy I am as I bite on my innocent little finger but I'm also trying to convey that little finger isn't innocent at all!" You people who post this one... You're my favorite. But seriously, this face says to me, "I have a secret... uh oh... now it isn't so secret..." 

The "Look How Cute I am after I Potty" Selfie

I know mirrors are the selfie lovers best friend (TWSS... ewGODgross!) but c'mon guys! Is the thought process here, "Man that was a great poop. I feel so cute I think I'll document it!"? Maybe I'm the only one, but after using the restroom I am more focused on, "Wash hands. Get back to work." Am I in the minority here? Just do your biniz and get out. It's not hard! (That's also what she said... maybe that's why she's taking a selfie ;-) 

And lastly... 

The "I need to document this but I have no idea what to do with my face!" Selfie

And for you guys that post this... I get you. I really get you. I'm pretty sure this is my permanent face. That and "judgmental eyes".

I see how this selfie came to be. There are times that you need to document with a picture but I don't want to be the asshole in the other pictures so I figure if I contort my face a little bit, I'll get forgiveness from the masses.

Does it work? 

What selfies did I miss? Which is your worst pet peeve selfie?