WTF Wednesday: Big Pink Style!

It is WTF Wednesday time, ya'll! 

This post has been in the making for some time now. I'm so excited to bring it to you today. 

First things first, if you are NOT familiar with the Big Pink, read this before proceeding any further. You won't regret it (or maybe you will... you won't know until you find out!)

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Sufficiently scarred for life? Good. WTF, right?! 

So why am I bringing this back up again? 

My sister texted me a while back to let me know she had a dream that she stole the Big Pink from me and her dog loved it. 

And that inspired her birthday present :-) though I was hoping to get her a Big Black. 

Then she went and posted this status on Facebook... and well you can see how that convo went... 

Brandi Lanning Love the smell of summer rain.

714Like ·  · Share

• 7 people like this.
• 

  Rikki Turner The feminine hygiene wash?

  11 September at 18:54 via mobile · Like · 2
• 

  Lee N Andi Nigh bahahhaha

  11 September at 19:23 · Like
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  Brandi Brown Lanning No smart ass. Rain. From the sky. You weirdo.

  11 September at 20:51 via mobile · Like
• 

  Rikki Turner I'm not the one reveling in vag soap smell on the Interwebs.

  11 September at 20:52 via mobile · Like · 1
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  Brandi Brown Lanning Why would anyone do that? I don't think of feminine products when I mention smells. Apparently someone ( Rikki Turner) needs to get her mind clean.

  11 September at 20:54 via mobile · Like
• 

  Rikki Turner Or her vag... I don't smell summer rain down there.

  11 September at 20:55 via mobile · Like
• 

  Brandi Brown Lanning I'm done speaking bout this. I don't care about your feminine needs or lack thereof

  11 September at 20:57 via mobile · Like
• 

  Rikki Turner You should keep talking. Your birthday gift list is getting longer and longer.

  11 September at 20:58 via mobile · Like
• 

  Rikki Turner Twss

  11 September at 20:58 via mobile · Like
• 

  Brandi Brown Lanning I don't like you

  11 September at 21:03 via mobile · Like
• 

  Brandi Brown Lanning Lee N Andi Nigh. See what you agged on???

  11 September at 21:04 via mobile · Like · 1
• 

  Brandi Brown Lanning This is my dads other child

  11 September at 21:04 via mobile · Like · 2
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  Lee N Andi Nigh i do what I can, Brandi! lolol

  12 September at 05:19 · Like
• 

  Karessa Haley Don't u mean the summer bacteria. Lol. That is where the smell comes from.

So I had two birthday presents to acquire! 

Coming right up! A Big Pink and Summer's Rain (which I later found out was Summer's Eve but they had a Tropical Rain flavor or scent or whatever... clearly I don't know much about the stinky vagina milieu)! 

We got on Petco's website to see what we could find. 

And what did we find, you say?  

A few things, actually. 

1) The big pink comes in an assortment of colors and you don't get to choose which color you get. (Sorry Brandi, no Big Black for you!)

2) It comes in Small, Medium, and Large. We have a medium as it turns out. I'm not sure if smaller or larger would be more offensive. 

3) (And my favorite) It is made by KONG Dog Toys!!! 

This is my, "IT'S CALLED KONG!!!!" happy dance. That's right... with two Big Pinks! They sent us another pink one! 

WTF?!?!?!

Why? Why did the maker of dog toys, KONG, think making this monstrosity of a toy would be appropriate? Don't they know there are sickos like me out there who will take it the wrong way?!?! (Like those Kum & Go yay-hoos!)

FYI: The dog doesn't so much like the Big Pink. Meanwhile, my 3-YEAR OLD thinks it is the bees knees and has asked on more than one occasion to take it to daycare for show and tell. 

I can hear the concerned parent phone calls now! 

"Um yes, is this Sam's mom? I just have a quick question. My son has a big knot on his head and Susan said he got smacked in the head by a giant sex toy. Would you like to explain why you thought that was appropriate?" 

And then I would be like, "Have you ever had a sword fight with one of those?!?!? It is BOUNCY!!!" 

You should try it. It is just as fun as it looks.

Anyway, we had all the inappropriate fun with these things (okay maybe not all because... ew gross) and I wrapped up the new one and Summer's Rain she is so fond of and headed to meet her and my family for lunch in Russellville. 

Where did she open this present? 

On the side of a very busy street leading up to the Arkansas Tech campus. 

And yes, if you are wondering, I waved it above my head so that everyone could see. 

Can you imagine some of the dinner table talks that occurred that night in Russellville?! (insert evil laugh here).