To read more about that terrible decision, click here.
This not so pleasant experience has inspired today's 5 on Friday...
5 State Fair People that Freak Me Out!
~ONE~
The 'Murica Guy
This guy...
Standing alone by a post... turkey leg in one hand... pint of beer in the other hand... sunglasses on even though it is dark outside... American flag t-shirt with the sleeves cut off... belly hanging out... and a greasy scowl painted on his face...
This guy freaks me out.
~TWO~
The Overly Excited Stranger
There was a lady that parked next to us as we arrived at the fair. She and her car full of people were so excited about being at the state fair!
They couldn't wait to get in! Their hair looked good! Their nails looked good! They saw us and wished us the best at the fair! Ya'll have a good time tonight, OKAY!?!?!?!?!
And this is me...
WHY ARE YOU SO STINKING EXCITED!
The whole place smells like a mix of beer, body odor, and an ashtray.
There is no personal space.
People scream for NO EFFING REASON behind those gates.
It costs $458 to get in the gate and then you'll need the sweat of a Norwegian man and the blood of a virgin to ride any rides. And you must sacrifice your first baby to get a damned fried Oreo.
Why on God's green Earth are you so freaking excited?!?!
These people freak me the eff out.
~THREE~
Way Too Sure of Himself Carnie
You know... the carnie who is just there to pick up chicks (barf... gag... )
So much gross...
Justin actually had this particular run-in.
The carnie dude was restricting access to the fun-house to the not-quite-ripe minions.
Translation: Turds be too short to go in without a parent.
That's fine. Parent on the way.
At some point in this the carnie felt a little challenged I guess and proceeded to tell my husband the following:
"Don't matter to me none. Err'one round here knows not to mess with me. I was ex-SWAT team. My body is registered with the government as a lethal weapon!"
Yeah okay carnie dude.
You sir, freak me the heck out.
~FOUR~
The Random Screamers
Please tell me I'm not the only one who has noticed those people who get off the ride and CONTINUE TO EFFING SCREAM!!!!!
Why? Why do we do this?
Is the ground still moving beneath you? Or is that you want me to punch you in throat in hopes of busting your voice box so that noise with cease? Which is it?
Ya'll don't freak me out as much as you PISS ME OFF but as you add to my dangerously high blood pressure, I choose to still include you. :-)
~FIVE~
Creepy Dudes
You know this guy.
This guy... approached me while my son and husband were riding the carousel.
This guy... approached me while pushing a stroller and carrying HIS WIFE'S PURSE.
This guy... was shorter than me and had a mustache.
This guy... says, "Hey girl. What's up. You waiting on your little one?"
I say, "Yup." and avert eye contact.
This guy... says, "I bet he's real cute. Where ya'll going after this?"
I say, "I don't know. Wherever my husband wants to go."
This guy... says, "Awww man!!!"
WHY ME?!?!?!?!?!
~BONUS~
What in the name of Peter, Paul, and Mary are you wearing?!
Seriously, do people not own a mirror?
Is there no human decency anymore?
I actually saw this person only she was at least wearing black panty hose instead of skin colored. It was just too bad she was wearing a white thong with it and a shirt that cut off at her waist.
Ewthatsgross.
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