"Oh Sam You're So Fine" and other tales of the weekend

Weekend update... ready... set... 

GO! 
(That was really just an excuse to use this picture)

Friday: 

Sam missed last week's show and tell at daycare because his mother is a loser and forgot. I tend to discourage bringing random toys into the car because they tend to just serve as ammo to hit mommy in the head with (I have thrown a toy out the window before... between my son's impeccable aim to the back of my head and my extreme irritability... toys in the car are a liability for all involved). 

We remembered this week and he wanted to show his friends his maraca he made at Bible School. 

After work, we met a few friends at ROSS (really cheap fashionable clothes... yes please!) and had a blast. I only left with three items. Take that self control! 

Saturday: 

I cleaned my house, bitches! 

Ya'll have no idea what a feat this was. Unless you read last week's post. Then maybe you do. 

I scrubbed floors and cabinets. I found clothes that I had forgotten existed. I'm not sure what the film on the bathroom counters was, but its gone now, suckas! 

The weird smell... GONE! This is amazing. 

It'll last for about a week when I decide to throw in the towel (you know, midnight Monopoly style, with anger and defeat!) and live in filth again. Cleaning sucks, naw mean?!

Then Sam announced he needed to poop. 

That proclamation makes me so excited to be a mom... about as excited as I'd be to be met at the bathroom door in the morning wearing meat pajamas by a malnourished alligator. Whatev. 

This is how we find him once he has done his biniz. 

Yup. Barco-lounger style. 

Good times. 

Saturday's nap started around 4:30 pm so we didn't wake up until 7:30 pm. Who is going to cook at such an obscene hour?! It's like 30 minutes until lights out... (I'm old and I don't care who knows it!)

So we went to IHOP! Yay! 

Where Sam proceeded to see a woman with a much larger rump as he is accustomed to seeing and loudly proclaims, "Momma! Why her booty so wobbly? She wobbly when she walks, mommy. MOMMY!" 

Meanwhile Mommy is doing that weird whisper thing when your lips don't actually move saying, "Sam for the love of gummies and ponies and free cookies, please stop saying that!" We explained that wasn't very nice because everyone is different, even if we don't understand why. He finally shut up... didn't stop staring... but did at least shut his trap. #facepalm

This video is a song we started singing. He loves it (what's not to love? Its catchy, interactive, and talks about how fine Sam is!)

And that's how we will leave this one. Happy Tuesday! Look forward to tomorrow's WTF Wednesday post!