Five on Friday: When Your Kid Blows Chunks

It's 5 on Friday again! 

I thought all night last night about what to write about today... 

Why did you think about it all night, Rikki? You're taking this blogging thing a bit too seriously aren't you? 

Nope. I was awake with  my son who was vomiting! 

Yay me! 

So today I shall chronicle the 5 things that changes when the child starts spewing chunks... 

~ONE~

You can't find your husband. It is husband repellent. 

Sam and I were on the way home from shopping for some Halloween stuff and I was going to start cooking 
when I got home. As I took the meat out of the fridge, I heard what I thought was Sam choking. I ran into the 
living room to find him covered in vomit and still going. 

Great. 

I called Justin real fast to warn him that I'd not be cooking dinner. Instead I'll be cleaning this up and tending
to the boy. He informed me that once I Lysoled everything, he'd come home! LOL 

Stinker. Why are guys so afraid of vomit? 

Also, he then slept upstairs away from us. 

Husband repellent. 

~TWO~ 

Mother's starve. 

I mentioned I was about to make dinner right? That's why he blew chunks? 

Well he needed cleaned up, the floor needed cleaned up, the chair needed cleaned up, and I needed to dip
the whole house in Lysol in order to gain access to my husband.... 

We now both needed a shower, then he needed Gatorade, then I needed to monitor his Gatorade
consumption...

Then I had to answer 1,000,000 "what's my temperature?" and "can I have medicine?" and "is it time for more
Gatorade?" questions... 

And then there is that whole mommy guilt over the fact that he is puking and I am not and how fair is it for me
to eat in front of him when I am not allowing him to eat... 

So I snuck in the kitchen and hid behind the cabinets and smuggled a banana into my stomach like I was 
smuggling weed in from Mexico. 

~THREE~

Mother's turn into champion chess players... thinking 14 steps ahead. 

Follow this process with me...

Me: "Hey Justin, can you bring the boy's mattress downstairs?" 

Justin: "Yeah." Goes and gets mattress. 

Me (inner thoughts): Okay have three pairs of clean sheets downstairs but I only have two mattress pads. 
If he pukes more than twice I'm screwed. Let me find all the dirty towels and make sure they are handy. 
And I should probably line the floor around his mattress so I'm not scrubbing vomit out of the carpet in
the middle of the night. I need to make sure his mattress has optimal space between it and the wall so he 
can get up in the middle of the night if he needs to but also has room for his puke bucket. And I really 
need a few extra blankets on hand just in case he vomits on his blanket. How close should have his 
Gatorade? I'll leave it on my nightstand so I can control it. The last thing I need is him downing it while I'm
asleep. Who am I kidding, I'm not going to sleep! I wonder what my 5 for Friday will be tomorrow? I 
better get to vomit-proofing the bedroom. Where is my husband? 

No jokes. 

~FOUR~

The dog becomes a third class citizen. 

Our dog has it pretty nice. For instance, I haven't sold him to the circus when he continues to do his nasty
business in my house! That was a sidetrack... 

But he gets to stay in our bedroom with us and unless he is shaking like he is having a seizure with bells on (his
collar is absurdly jingly) he can sleep on our bed if he wants to. We feed him, we walk him, we spoil him 
rotten. 

Last night? 

He stayed outside for 2 hours while we handled the vomit and then he came in, ate long enough that we knew 
he wouldn't be hungry through the night and then got back in the kennel to sleep. 

I don't need a dog tracking germs around and trying to eat vomit or waking err'body up with his jingly 
hyperactivity when folks is sick. 

No bueno. 

~FIVE~

No matter how much work has to be done the next day at your job, it doesn't matter. 

I had to call in some MAJOR favors to pull off work today. It was the worst timing for Sam to get sick. 

But he big, fat did it anyway so I was left to scramble! I have some seriously awesome/rad co-workers. 

You guys are fantastic! 



That's my five on Friday for today! What changes for you when your child gets sick?