WTF Wednesday: Glasses and Goobers

I'll start with the glasses...

I have some now!

 This is the first picture I took of myself (yes, I was driving but I was at a stoplight and I HAD JUST GOTTEN GLASSES!!!). I'm not especially fond of this picture because WHOA with the harsh lighting but LOOK AT HOW WHITE MY TEETH ARE!!!

It's the small things in life folks.

Here is a picture of me looking as normal as I can while taking a selfie (ew).

Things I enjoy hearing from people:

I like your glasses!

I didn't recognize you! You look like a student! (I work on a college campus. This is, in fact, a compliment).

You look hot!

Things I do not enjoy hearing from people:

You've got that hot teacher thang going on.

Hey sexy librarian! (WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!?!?!)

You look like Sarah Palin! (A part of my soul dies every time someone says this to me. Pretty soon I'm going to walk around looking like Voldemort with my soul all fragmented and missing and shit)

Yes I just went Harry Potter on your ass.

Sarah Palin does that shit to me.

Except she wouldn't get the reference because Harry Potter is the devil, just like that darned Obama and his socialism! (And I said that in her voice... BOOM!)

I digress.

I also got a few of the, "You got glassssseeeeeesssss!" All drawn out in a high pitched voice with a southern twang.

Translation:

"You look ugly in glasses and your ass is fat. Bless your heart."

I speak Southern. I know what you mean.

Anyway, the glasses are here. I'm a little sad that I wussed out 6 months to the day shy of being 30. I mean, I could have lasted 6 more months to have the rights to say I didn't have to wear glasses until I was 30. But alas it is done. And if one more person says I look like Sarah Palin I'm going to kick them square in the ass and say with a wink,

"Yoooouuuu betcha!"

Tina Fey is my  hero. Bitches DO get stuff done!

On to goobers...

I've been careful not to mention the goings on of our family right now because there are still a lot of questions. We thought we were going to get answers tomorrow and ... that's where the goobers part comes in... asshats didn't start with "G" and I have an affinity for alliteration.

And cussing. See what I did there?

My mother in law has been diagnosed with myelodysplasia.

Translation: All the sucking.

It is precursor to leukemia and it requires a bone marrow transplant...

And we need to know if she is a candidate...

And we need to find a match...

And we have to travel to St. Louis for treatment... and to get answers to these questions...

And that appointment was for Thursday morning...

And halfway there (read: 3 hours into the drive) they called to inform her that this specialist is "out of network" and they would need to file paperwork requesting coverage...

AND THEY WONT GET THAT DONE UNTIL THURSDAY AFTERNOON!!!

So they had to turn around and drive 3 HOURS BACK for no appointment.

Meanwhile she needs blood work done and possibly more blood transfusions and we need a chemo schedule and WE NEED ANSWERS AS TO HOW TO LIVE OUR EFFING LIVES RIGHT NOW!

ASSHATS.

Goobers and asshats.

WTF Folks... I mean serrrrsly...