Sam and I were getting ready for nap. He had instructions of going potty and then putting on a diaper. While he was doing this, Justin and I were talking in the kitchen.
Sam runs into the kitchen with a mission in mind wanting to show me something. I shushed him and told him to wait his turn, daddy was talking to me (polite thing to do for my beloved husband I thought).
Sam jumped up in my arms and I held him while we finished our conversation. When he was done, Sam says, "I need to show you something!"
I said, "What?!"
He said, "Just come look!"
No matter how many times I asked what he wanted to show me, he would just say, "just come look!"
He has been in a habit of building "traps" and "inventions" as of late, so I was expecting something to that effect in the bedroom. Honestly anything distracting him from the pre-nap tasks at hand.
We ran into the bedroom and rounded the far side of the bed. He stares down into the floor and says, "Hey! Where'd that spider go?!"
I'm sorry, WHAT?!
It was at this point Justin started giggling uncontrollably and I thought he might actually fall out.
After asking for clarification from my offspring, he confirmed that, "There was a spider here. He was crawling around and around and now I don't know where he is."
Umm.....
I could not get out of there fast enough.
Family Status:
Me: Cowering in a chair in the living room not about to nap in that very room that has a rogue spider roaming about.
Justin: Still laughing uncontrollably; oblivious to his divorce decree getting longer and longer.
Sam: Frantically looking for his little spider buddy to kill it so that he can achieve the love of his mother once more.
I guess Justin finally got the picture of the severity of the situation because he went into the bedroom to help Sam search for the spider. He then came back out and attempted to tell me it was a fake spider ring from Halloween.
Yeah, okay. He couldn't keep a straight face and started laughing uncontrollably again.
Want proof?
Nothing but wieners and assholes in the Turner household. I swear.
What ended up happening with the spider?!
Well while my husband was laughing like a hyena on laughing gas, I decided to go in and see if I could find the spider.
I saw what appeared to be a dust bunny move as I moved things to look under them. But upon further investigation it was a tiny spider! Sam said, "That's him! That's him! That's my little spider friend!"
And then I killed it right in front of him... because
MOMMA DOESN'T DO SPIDERS!!!!!!!
hahhahahh OMG this was great!!!
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