Teaching Your Child To Give

I'm so sad that it has taken me so long to type this post. We have a bit going on right now with Justin's mother being sick right now and it just hasn't been in the cards until today. 

Last year when Sam was two, I told him about how there are some kids who don't get anything for Christmas because their parents can't afford it. I asked him if he wanted to give some of his toys to them so they would have toys to play with. 

At first he was skiddish. He wasn't sure because he loved all of his toys (even the ones he NEVER PLAYS WITH). 

I decided to illustrate it another way. 

I said, "Sam, these other kids have no toys at all to play with. Could you imagine coming home one day and not having ANY toys to play with? Wouldn't that make you sad?"

I took a little too far... 

He puckered his face up and started to softly cry and says, "Mo-mma-dat-would-make-me weewy-sad." 

I said, "I know baby. So don't you think it'd be nice to give them some of your toys? That way you'd have toys to play with and so would they?"

He cried some more but nodded enthusiastically and started grabbing EVERYTHING!!! 

Cool light up trucks that he plays with every day... games he plays with... police cars...

I had to step in and say, "No baby! Don't give away all of your favorite toys! Let's look and see what all you have and give away stuff that isn't as much fun for you as it used to be!"

He still insisted on giving away some pretty cool toys that year but we ended up sending a few bags worth of toys to the church. 

Our church, Oak Forest Methodist, is the most giving church I've ever attended in my life. They have food pantry, free health clinic, free dental clinic, free counseling and social work services, and a free eye clinic. They feed the homeless under the bridge. And they have an average Sunday attendance of about 75 people. 

That's a lot of love for such a small church. 

I called Pastor Russ that year to see if he knew of a family that could use these toys for Christmas because I was sure he could. He said to bring them to the food pantry and they would let the families coming through for the pantry take some. Little did I know, that year there was a family that came through that wouldn't have had a Christmas for their kids had it not been for Sam's toys. 

Needless to say, I was proud of my son. 

This year Pastor Russ approached me to head up a bigger drive this year (one with more than one donor, lol). I was game for it. We made a few announcements in the Sunday services leading up to the last food pantry before Christmas. Sam made his donations (again being very generous with some pretty cool toys). 

I was scheduled to show up that Friday a bit early to help set up and sanitize toys. 

When I walked into that room I almost fell over. 

There was enough toys for 42 families! 

42!!!!

They each got to pick one per child and by the end we had them coming in to get extras because we had some left over! 

I teared up. I was so proud. The generosity of my son sparked something that made 42 families' Christmases a little bit brighter. 

Proud momma... 

Bass Pro Shop and Santa

Little Rock, Arkansas recently got a Bass Pro Shop.

For all of you unfamiliar, this is "redneck mecca".

Rednecks and fisherman from far and wide travel to shop within her depths.

Think back to when you were 6-7 and you dreamed of going to Disney World. And when/if you finally got to go, you stared in awe and thought everything was magical.

Rednecks feel the same way about Bass Pro Shops.

And they kind of have a point. This place goes all out for scenery purposes. They have animal tracks leading you into the store (you can even walk through a forest to get in). There is a giant fireplace with lots of soft seating (leather couches much!) when you first walk in.

When you are past that, there is homemade fudge, freshly popped corn, and candied nuts on your right. There are stuffed animals GALORE (above you, beside you, behind you).

There was something above them here that got Sam tickled. He kept laughing at it and hiding from it at the same time.

If you are an animal lover, perhaps this isn't the place for you. Lots of bears, deer, hogs, etc on display at all angles. This wasn't my first rodeo with BPS so I neglected to capture the madness (redneck runs deep in my blood... deez arrr muh peeepul). 

In the gun section, Sam pretended to be held up at gun point.

There was a beautiful Christmas tree at the entrance by the fireplace so we got our pictures made in front of it. 

They can't all be glamour shots, right? 

They have all the interactive toys to get you to spend lots of money occupy your children. Sam loved the race cars. There were also remote controlled trucks to play with and a giant North Pole cracked out on steroids train set to watch. Good stuff.

Fakest half smile EVER! But alas we got a picture with Santa so I guess I'm happy. :-) 

Five of the Funniest Sam Sayings of the Past Week

My little smart ass has been on a role lately. In no particular order, here are some of my favorites and their back stories.

~ONE~

He stayed the night with Susan on Wednesday night. I called him to say goodnight and to see how his day was. Apparently in the midst of me talking to Susan first, Sam decided it was time for a poop. When Susan went to ask him if he wanted to say goodnight to me, I heard him yell, "Yeah, but I'm poopin!"

Susan took the phone to him and held it up to his ear. He says, "Goodnight mommy."

I said, "Goodnight sweetie. I love you."

He said, "I love you!"

He apparently shoves the phone away at that time. Susan asks, "Was that all you wanted to say?"

His response?

"What else IS THERE?!"


~TWO~

Yesterday a friend and I took our kids to see Santa (which due to our inability to read, we missed. He was there the night before). We stopped by Chickfila to eat first. Of course they wanted to play in the play place, which we allowed them to do for 10 minutes. After several times coming in and out of the play ground, Sam comes out and asks how many minutes are left.

Amy says, "Actually time is up. Go get your shoes on."

We were expecting disappointment. Instead, Sam runs full sprint back to the play place, while jumping and yelling,

"YESSS!!! SANTAAA!!!"

It looked a bit 80's movie-esque, complete with in the air fist-pump.

And yes, the whole restaurant took notice and most of them laughed. Most. 


~THREE~

You would think with all of the excitement about Santa, Sam would, I don't know, believe we were going to see the real Santa.

But alas, on the way there, he says, "Momma, we aren't going to see the real Santa."

I said, "What makes you think that?"

He said, "Because he is fake."

I said, "Why do you think that?"

He said, "MOM. He is wearing a COSTUME!"

I finally said, "Then just keep the secret okay? Lily and Avery believe he is the real Santa."

Leave it to my 3 year old to ruin Christmas for the older kids.


~FOUR~

This morning at Susan's, it was apparent that she has checked out for the holidays. How do I know?

When Sam got there, she says, "Sam, it's 'do what you want day' today so your friends are downstairs playing under the table because I just don't care today."

I thought this was funny. Sam thought it was ammo.

Sam and Cullen were playing upstairs with trucks. Sam took his and the one Cullen was playing with. When Tamara called attention to this, Sam said, "It's do what you want day!"

How do you argue with that logic?!


~FIVE~

I'm having to go back more than a week for this one, but it got me tickled.

One night a few weeks back, I couldn't get Justin to turn on the dang tv. I mean, it was on, but he wasn't playing anything on Netflix.

Sam really wanted to watch cartoons and I really didn't want to end up in a straight jacket so we passed on the cartoons. Justin either wouldn't do something with the remote or couldn't decide on a show (I forget which), but finally I snapped and yelled, 

"Just turn on Raising Hope and everyone will be happy!!!!"

Sam retorts quickly, "NOT EVERYBODY!"



What's your Five on Friday this week?

WTF Wednesday: Fun versus Gay Apparel

Guys, I'm super sad. I had planned today's WTF Wednesday post (which you will get in a minute) but last night I had all the weird dreams...

Like "WTF" worthy dreams. And in the middle of the night, I thought to myself, "Rikki, you fabulously hilarious little weirdo, you should postpone your planned WTF Wednesday post for a week and post about your EFFED UP dreams! It will be the funniest!!!!"

And then I got up this morning and REMEMBERED NOTHING!

I mean nothing! Other than I had weird dreams last night and I came up with a new hilarious saying.

No I don't remember the saying. It was something about "squeezing your gizzards" or something like that. It reminiscent of the time I dreamed about a song I made up and part of the lyrics were, "and a pumpkin named Sue."

But I can't remember. I has the amnesia!

So on to regularly scheduled programming.

I was in the Hallmark store the other day choosing an ornament for Sam. As I was doing my  normal OCD perusing, I come across this little gem...

UMMMM.... WTF?!?!?!

Yeah that's not the words to song, Hallmark. 

It is "don we now our GAY apparel." 

Yes, I said "gay."

No, I didn't catch the "gay" by saying it. 

Nor will you if you sing it in a song. 

What is the motivation behind changing the lyrics to a classic Christmas song on a tacky Christmas sweater ornament? 

The way I see it, there are a few options.

1) They were afraid it would seem like they were mocking gay people by using the word gay on this ornament. 

~~ If this is your reason, I'm a trite less pissy with you. I don't want to mock anyone any more than you do. However, to insult the intelligence of every gay person on the planet is a bit ridiculous. Want to be stereotypical for a bit? Gay men know Christmas music better than any other population on the planet! They know good and well what gay apparel is and that "fun apparel" is not the lyric to ANY Christmas song EVER! 

2) They didn't want to be controversial by putting the word "gay" on a Christmas ornament. 

~~If this is your reason, Imma need you to grow a pair and not alter lyrics to Christmas songs and instead, I don't know, DON'T MAKE THE DAMN ORNAMENT IN THE FIRST PLACE! 

If it is controversial then just don't do it. 

Kind of like when assholes talk and I want them to shut up... Do I think punching them is the solution? Yes. Do I think it is controversial and probably frowned on by society? Yes. Do I make a conscious decision to not punch assholes in the throat? YES

That's called being an adult. Try it sometime. 

3) They changed the word because tacky Christmas sweaters are "fun" and popular and the word "gay" back then meant "happy and fun". 

~~ Two responses here. 1) Most of my gay friends are still in fact happy and fun so no reason to go changing the lyrics to establish this. 2) There are a lot of lyrics to Christmas songs now that make no effing sense and yet, we aren't changing those to fit our whims... 

Examples: 

When is the last time you or anyone you know ate figgy pudding? In fact, WTF is figgy pudding? 

When is the last time you had chestnuts roasting on an open fire? My guess is you know more people cooking meth over an open fire than you do roasting chestnuts. 

And the Christmas Song calls people Eskimos. Yeah, that's a diversity no no. They are Inuit. I'm going to need ya'll to change the lyrics, mkay? 

Also... who is Parson Brown and why are children pretending their snowman is him? Do we change this to Mr. Brown? James Brown? 

  

And can I just point out that there are at least three Christmas songs with the word "gay" in them? Can I expect all of these to change for commercialized success? 

Good grief. Either put the right words to the song on the dang ornament, don't make the damn ornament, or call it what it is.... TACKY CHRISTMAS SWEATER! 

I would have bought that. Clearly... 

Charm at the Choo Choo Train Place

There is this place in Little Rock called "All Aboard" where you order your food and a train brings it to your table. It is a HUGE hit with kids, especially Sam.

When I found out tonight would be a Sam and Momma date night, I knew I wanted to take him there. Except Sam calls it the "Choo choo train place," and now every adult in his life refers to it as such.

Even if Sam is no where around...

And even if I am referring to this place to my boss...

#mommylanguageforthewin

#adultsshouldntsaychoochootootheradults

#pointlesshashstaginablog

Sam had stayed at Susan's for two nights in a row. In the midst of that, I got glasses. Read about that here.

Here is his reaction to my glasses:



Yes, you heard right. My son doesn't want me to look SO SILLY at his birthday party in my glasses and have people laugh at me.

I'm already embarrassing my child.

This seems like an opportunity to show up with my hair in rollers donning a moo moo... no glasses.



We'll see how he likes my glasses then!

Anyway, we always tell what our best and worst was of the day when we eat dinner. Sam was very positive about his and didn't have a worst. So I rephrased the question to, "What was your best and worst about staying at Susan's for two whole nights?"

This was his answer:



His worst was not getting to stay there another night. Apparently he came home out of guilt.

Recap: I embarrass my 3 year old by wearing glasses and he only comes home to visit out of guilt.

My confidence is through the roof, guys!

Later as we are eating, this girl that works at the restaurant kept walking by the table. Every time she did, Sam would put his hands up and say, "Tickle tickle."

She never saw it but I knew what this meant. He want to do his high five trick for her.



Give me a five. On the side. Break the pickle. Tickle tickle.

He did it to two of their staff members by the end of the night. He is normally very shy.

He also ran up to the cooks to ask where his food was at when his hadn't shown up at the table. Turns out they really did make a mistake and he got his choice of a cookie or a brownie.

Yay us! He can't eat either of those due to the milk.

So they gave him a choo choo train sucker instead.

And he ate his entire meal holding on to this sucker.

He ate most of the sucker on the way home. Clearly it was too much to handle because he ended up doing this for about 20 minutes.



It was great fun and exhausting but I was so pleased with our date.

And man did I ever sleep good that night!

Finish the Sentence Fun!

I'm linking up today with Jake and Holly for finish the sentence!




1. My favorite Christmas was.... That has to be Sam's first Christmas. It was funny watching that fat kid tear into wrapping paper and not know why!

2. The worst Christmas I had... was the time I had the flu on Christmas and with my geriatric lungs I ended up in the hospital that night... nothing says Merry Christmas like warm Jello and a busted IV line!

3. That one gift that made me scratch my head and say, "Hmmmm" was... the time I got a windsock and sugar free candy because I'm hypoglycemic. Also, I'm not hypoglycemic.

4. One year I.... started throwing up on Justin and I's first Christmas as a married couple and had to cancel all his family plans. He then went and had dinner at Waffle House. Without me. Give him hell about that.

5. I think the worst gift to give is.... a douche. Nothing says I love you and I'm thankful for Jesus's birth like telling someone they should wash their vagina.

6. At Christmastime I typically.... choose denial. It isn't really Christmastime. I don't really have nine million places to go. I don't really have one million gifts to buy. I don't really need to rent a U-Haul to get all this shit back to my house. I don't really have a drinking problem.

7. Typically, family Christmas.... is best served with wine.

8. If I could change one thing about the Holiday season.... all the greed, rush, and Christmas music. I can't choose one because they all suck.

9. It is so hard to buy for.... anyone but Sam. I don't like buying gift cards and I'm not a gift person anyway. I once legitimately bought someone a hair brush. They found it offensive. But just weeks before they were talking about needing one. HOW WAS I TO KNOW?!

10. My favorite Christmas tradition is... getting Sam and Justin ornaments for the tree each year. That's fun stuff.

11. Santa, baby, bring me a .... hot pepper enema. There are a few people this Christmas that need to know while I was thinking about them, I was also trying to figure out a way to set their ass on fire.

Now you there, go link up! And then head over to You Wouldn't Call It a Drinking Problem and check out my guest post for the lovely Tammy! 

WTF Wednesday: Glasses and Goobers

I'll start with the glasses...

I have some now!

 This is the first picture I took of myself (yes, I was driving but I was at a stoplight and I HAD JUST GOTTEN GLASSES!!!). I'm not especially fond of this picture because WHOA with the harsh lighting but LOOK AT HOW WHITE MY TEETH ARE!!!

It's the small things in life folks.

Here is a picture of me looking as normal as I can while taking a selfie (ew).

Things I enjoy hearing from people:

I like your glasses!

I didn't recognize you! You look like a student! (I work on a college campus. This is, in fact, a compliment).

You look hot!

Things I do not enjoy hearing from people:

You've got that hot teacher thang going on.

Hey sexy librarian! (WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?!?!?!)

You look like Sarah Palin! (A part of my soul dies every time someone says this to me. Pretty soon I'm going to walk around looking like Voldemort with my soul all fragmented and missing and shit)

Yes I just went Harry Potter on your ass.

Sarah Palin does that shit to me.

Except she wouldn't get the reference because Harry Potter is the devil, just like that darned Obama and his socialism! (And I said that in her voice... BOOM!)

I digress.

I also got a few of the, "You got glassssseeeeeesssss!" All drawn out in a high pitched voice with a southern twang.

Translation:

"You look ugly in glasses and your ass is fat. Bless your heart."

I speak Southern. I know what you mean.

Anyway, the glasses are here. I'm a little sad that I wussed out 6 months to the day shy of being 30. I mean, I could have lasted 6 more months to have the rights to say I didn't have to wear glasses until I was 30. But alas it is done. And if one more person says I look like Sarah Palin I'm going to kick them square in the ass and say with a wink,

"Yoooouuuu betcha!"

Tina Fey is my  hero. Bitches DO get stuff done!

On to goobers...

I've been careful not to mention the goings on of our family right now because there are still a lot of questions. We thought we were going to get answers tomorrow and ... that's where the goobers part comes in... asshats didn't start with "G" and I have an affinity for alliteration.

And cussing. See what I did there?

My mother in law has been diagnosed with myelodysplasia.

Translation: All the sucking.

It is precursor to leukemia and it requires a bone marrow transplant...

And we need to know if she is a candidate...

And we need to find a match...

And we have to travel to St. Louis for treatment... and to get answers to these questions...

And that appointment was for Thursday morning...

And halfway there (read: 3 hours into the drive) they called to inform her that this specialist is "out of network" and they would need to file paperwork requesting coverage...

AND THEY WONT GET THAT DONE UNTIL THURSDAY AFTERNOON!!!

So they had to turn around and drive 3 HOURS BACK for no appointment.

Meanwhile she needs blood work done and possibly more blood transfusions and we need a chemo schedule and WE NEED ANSWERS AS TO HOW TO LIVE OUR EFFING LIVES RIGHT NOW!

ASSHATS.

Goobers and asshats.

WTF Folks... I mean serrrrsly...



Sam Punked Me and Justin Lost a Wife

It is no secret that my son is an evil genius. Today's tale is further proof.

Sam and I were getting ready for nap. He had instructions of going potty and then putting on a diaper. While he was doing this, Justin and I were talking in the kitchen.

Sam runs into the kitchen with a mission in mind wanting to show me something. I shushed him and told him to wait his turn, daddy was talking to me (polite thing to do for my beloved husband I thought).

Sam jumped up in my arms and I held him while we finished our conversation. When he was done, Sam says, "I need to show you something!"

I said, "What?!"

He said, "Just come look!"

No matter how many times I asked what he wanted to show me, he would just say, "just come look!"

He has been in a habit of building "traps" and "inventions" as of late, so I was expecting something to that effect in the bedroom. Honestly anything distracting him from the pre-nap tasks at hand.

We ran into the bedroom and rounded the far side of the bed. He stares down into the floor and says, "Hey! Where'd that spider go?!"





I'm sorry, WHAT?!

It was at this point Justin started giggling uncontrollably and I thought he might actually fall out.

After asking for clarification from my offspring, he confirmed that, "There was a spider here. He was crawling around and around and now I don't know where he is."

Umm.....




I could not get out of there fast enough.

Family Status:

Me: Cowering in a chair in the living room not about to nap in that very room that has a rogue spider roaming about.

Justin: Still laughing uncontrollably; oblivious to his divorce decree getting longer and longer.

Sam: Frantically looking for his little spider buddy to kill it so that he can achieve the love of his mother once more.

I guess Justin finally got the picture of the severity of the situation because he went into the bedroom to help Sam search for the spider. He then came back out and attempted to tell me it was a fake spider ring from Halloween.

Yeah, okay. He couldn't keep a straight face and started laughing uncontrollably again.

Want proof?



Nothing but wieners and assholes in the Turner household. I swear.

What ended up happening with the spider?!

Well while my husband was laughing like a hyena on laughing gas, I decided to go in and see if I could find the spider.

I saw what appeared to be a dust bunny move as I moved things to look under them. But upon further investigation it was a tiny spider! Sam said, "That's him! That's him! That's my little spider friend!"

And then I killed it right in front of him... because
MOMMA DOESN'T DO SPIDERS!!!!!!!

Five Pros and Five Cons to Snow Days

It is important to note that I am NOT typically a fan of snow days. Why?

I live in Arkansas. Snow = Ice.

Ice = Roads covered in ice

Roads covered in ice = Idiots who think they can drive on ice

And also... its cold and I don't like the cold.

But I am challenging myself to come up with pros and cons to this dreadful weather.

PROS

1) Extra time with my sweet baby. So far today he has unrolled all the toilet paper and built a castle. And he started asking for lunch every five minutes since he ate his breakfast. These are special times, folks.

2) Snow days = extra naps with Sam. Yes I will be partaking in these.

3) It is totally acceptable to drink hot chocolate and coffee all day.

4) It is also totally acceptable to not fix hair, shower every once in a while, and you don't have to get out of your pajamas or baggy sweatshirts.

I'm currently wearing my husband's tacky Christmas sweater from two years ago and the pajamas I wore last night. It is so sexy the club can't even handle me right now. Or the dog.

5) Movies and popcorn all. day. long. ALL DAY LONG!


CONS

1) When you spend this much time in your own house with no expectation of going outside for a few days, people expect you will use some of this time to clean your house. I hate cleaning. In fact, if someone wants to buy me a housecleaner for Christmas (not in a slave labor type of way, I don't wish to own anyone. But a Merry Maids gift card might be nice!), that'd be rad.

2) Political pressure to play in the snow. Look, I'm not trying to start any shit with ya'll, but it is EFFING COLD OUT THERE!



Do you know why we wear coats? To not get cold.

Do you know why we have heat indoors? To not get cold.

Do you know that feeling in your hands and feet when you are so cold it hurts? That's not enjoyable. That's a precursor to frostbite.

And all you folks that go out there and freeze just to come in and warm up enough to go back out again... WHY?! Your body had enough sense to come inside from the cold... why would you spit in its face and go back to the scene of the crime?!

Because you're an idiot. You're cute and all that and I'm sure you have a darling personality.

But you're dumb.

3) As a student housing professional, it can be expected that if kids don't have class to distract them, they will turn into untrained toddlers and tear shit up. They track snow/ice/goo into the buildings, they think snowball/iceball fights in the building are totally acceptable, and they get crazy ideas of how/what they can sled on... settling for down the stairs inside if nothing else gives them quite the thrill they were searching for. Ugh.



4) When it ices in Arkansas that cues every cocky Northerner that moved to Arkansas to go into full asshole mode about how stupid we are in the south for shutting down everything. And if they are super cocky they end up trying to drive on it. That's when the real fun starts in my opinion because several will later post something about how they didn't realize how slick it was or whatever...

Here is the thing Northerners: Yes, you are more experienced with snow. What you are not more experienced with is ice and freezing rain.

In fact, most of you don't know what freezing rain is. I had a friend from the north one time call me and ask me why he couldn't open his car door. My answer: Freezing rain.

His response: What the hell is that?

Yeah, that's the kind of shit winter weather we get here. And we get it once or twice a year so no we don't have stockpiles of sand and salt for the roads nor do we have the man power to have it spread out well in advance so we don't have to cancel everything.

So yes, you are better with snow. Good for you. Until we have a complete snow not mixed with ice and/or freezing rain, keep your cocky mouth shut about it.

5) One thing I will give the Northerners full permission to make fun of us for is our apparent banana, bread, and milk deficiency that is worsened by winter weather.

Have you ever tried going to the grocery store a few days before a winter weather event? It is absurd!

Folks be running around in a damned tizzy buying up all the bread, milk, and bananas!

I get the bread... sandwiches work in a pinch if the power is out (which it will be undoubtedly if there is freezing rain).

But milk and bananas?

If your power is out, you don't need to be opening the fridge much for milk. And what are we doing with all that milk?!? The vast majority of all of our weather events last two days max. Every once in a while we will have one last longer but it just isn't common.

SO WHY ALL THE MILK?!?!



And bananas?! That is so random! Why not apples or grapes or graham crackers or chips... WHY BANANAS??!

Do we have some sort of potassium/temperature correlation where one drops and so does the other?! If so, no one sent me the memo.

You know what I wanted to stock up on?

Beer, coffee, and hot dogs.

The first two are self explanatory. The latter is in case I need to cook with the power out I can slap a hot dog on a hanger and cook it in the fire place.

What do you dread most or look forward to the most about snow days?




 

What's a Liebster anyway?

You guys! I've been nominated for a Liebster Award! As I'm trying to grow my readership right now, I'm pretty excited! And I need a distraction because yesterday was a rough one! 

Tammy Jo over at You Wouldn't Call It a Drinking Problem nominated me. She's pretty cool and you should go check her out. 
Okay. Here are the rules. When you get the award, you have to... 

1. Link the person who nominated you.

2. Share 11 random facts about yourself.

3. Answer the 10 Liebster questions given by the person who nominated you.

4. Pick 10 bloggers with under 200 followers to be nominated for the award.
* I assume that's under 200 on Bloglovin but I can't be certain. 

5. Come up with 10 questions for your nominees to answer.

6. Notify your nominees by commenting on their blogs. 

Nominees: PLEASE comment on this post with the link to your post.

11 Random Facts: 

1) I run from public praise like it will give me herpes. I hate it. It makes me super awkward and I don't know what to do. This also means I'm a terrible self advocate. But... I want to grow my blog and eventually write a book... How do I make that work? 

2) My dad once tried to teach me to swim by throwing me in the creek. He had to come in and get me out. Turns out I don't respond well to that type of pressure to perform (see above). 

3) While in the Netherlands on a Study Abroad trip, a random man in a grocery store kissed me on the cheek. This was after a random man at an outdoor restaurant decided I was the one he was going to tell about his tale of the "swans" and how they were "infected" but he was "immune" because his dad worked for "NATO." True story. 

4) I am only interested in one piece of jewelry: new pearls. I don't want a bunch of rings; my wedding ring will do. I hate the feelings of bracelets and watches. I've had my ears pierced twice and they grew shut both times and clip-ons hurt too much to bother with. I just want pearls. 

5) The best thing anyone can do for me ever is clean for me or rub my shoulders or feet. Gifts are lost on me most of the time. 

6) Due to my extreme social awkwardness in "networking" situations at conferences, I pride myself in being that girl that just shows up and says funny stuff. My last encounter was with some girls at the coffee/tea bar in the exhibit hall. They were talking about choosing tea because it is better for you... blah blah blah. As I was reaching for the cream for my large, delicious coffee I leaned in a said, "Oh get the coffee. We are student affairs people, we have to have one addiction. Just be glad it isn't cocaine or pain killers." And then I walked off. They were laughing but I was gone before they could question me further :-) 

7) I am an extreme bargain shopper and consider any clothing over $20 as highway robbery. But, I will drop some cash on bras, underwear, and eye shadow. 

8) My go to feel good movies are Benny and Joon, Pitch Perfect, and Meet the Robinsons. 

9) I'm struggling right now with what to pursue next: adoption, doctorate, or a speaking career (on the side). Decisions, decisions. 

10) Mother's Day is my favorite holiday. It is possible that Thanksgiving is my next favorite. I do not enjoy Christmas (too many expectations, politics, stress, and greed), Fat Tuesday (there is something wrong with shoving as much sin into one day so you can be good for 40 days), or Valentine's Day (don't get me started). 

11) Coffee, dark chocolate, and popcorn are the way to my heart. Popcorn was recently added to this list and I can't figure out why I haven't included it before! 

Tammy Jo's Questions: 

1. NFL or NCAA

I don't really follow either but NCAA can suck me in where I couldn't give two shits and bucket full of dirt for the NFL. 

2. Favorite color?

Red, orange, and brown. I can't pick one. 

3. Who inspires you?

I find inspiration in ordinary people doing extraordinary things. I've never been starstruck by celebrities. I've never understood why people will wait in line for hours for another human being to write their name on a piece of paper (aka: autographs). But people who will give everything they have to help another person... that's inspiring to me. 

4. What is one thing you have done that you NEVER thought you could do?

I thought I would lose my mind if I had to have a c-section. That was my worst fear about being pregnant (other than losing the baby or something like that). I wanted to have a normal, completely medicated birth. But when the doctor said it was time to talk about a c-section, I was cool as a cucumber and just went with it. No nerves at all. 

5. Proudest moment?

This makes me laugh but I will never forget hitting a game winning grand slam homerun to win the district softball tournament in my softball playing days. I came up to bat when we were tied, bases were loaded, and we had run out of time in the game. We were the home team and there were two outs. Our team's crowd was chanting, "Peanut! Peanut!" (my nickname back then). I saw that the right fielder was leaving the right field foul line wide open. Apparently, I shit eating grin spread across my face (I was told later by my coach and a few parents) and I stepped up to bat. On the first pitch I hit a hard ball to right field that drew chalk on the foul line and made that right fielder run for her life! It was great! 

6. What does blogging mean to you?

Blogging is such a remarkable outlet for me. I feel peaceful after blogging. 

7. What was the last book you read?

Bitter is the New Black by Jen Lancaster. 

8. Favorite song?

Too many to list! Different songs do different things to me. Here are a few to illustrate how random I can be: 

Wanted: Hunter Hayes

Poison: Bel Biv Devoe

That's What Makes You Beautiful: One Direction

Boys Round Here: Blake Shelton

Momma's Broken Heart: Miranda Lambert

The Way You Look Tonight: Anyone who sings it 

Falling Slowly: Kris Allen's version is my favorite but I'll take almost any of them

Perfect: P!NK

See what I mean? I just chose to stop. 

9. If you could be anyone for one day who would it be?

My son! I want to know what that kid is thinking! 

10. One thing on your bucket list?

Be a paid motivational speaker. 

My Questions: 

1) If you could go back and tell your high school self one thing, what would it be? 

2) What is your guilty pleasure? 

3) If you stepped on a garden snake and it said, "Hey! Look out!" What would you do? 

4) What is your favorite charitable cause and why? 

5) What do you order at Starbucks? 

6) What is your biggest pet peeve? 

7) When did you stop believing in Santa Claus and how did you come to that decision? 

8) What comes very easy to you that others struggle with? 

9) What is one stereotype you used to believe but no longer do? 

10) iPhone, Droid, or Zach Morris phone? 

My nominees: 

Jenny at: Jenny B Lesley

Carrie at: The Jernigan Project

Erin at: A Piece of Our World

Tiffany at: Confessions of an ADD Crafter

Lindsay at: The Johnson Family 

Ashley at: What Are My Options?!

Crazy (sorry I don't know your name) at: Crazy Mama Drama

Stephanie at: The Nerdy Organizer

I realize it is only 8 but I had to stretch to get this many! Between blogs that are already nominated and me following a lot of big name bloggers, 8 is all I could get!