Thrifty Thursday: Treadmill on the CHEAP

I often joke that I'm the cheapest person on the planet. After reading this story you'll know why. 

On the journey back to graduate school, I remembered the only way I could keep up with the heavy reading load was to walk on a treadmill and read. Otherwise I'd wake up with pages stuck to my cheek and a desperate need for coffee. 

That began my quest for a treadmill. 

I realize they sell these at your local Walmart but they wan't about $200 more than I'm willing to pay for one. 

I set myself a budget of $50. That was all I was willing to spend. 

I emailed the classifieds listserv at work looking for one and got several offers. 

$250

$225

$175

Uh no. Finally got an offer of $100. Still way too much. These things collect dust in every other home in the country, someone would give me one dammit!

Susan tipped me off that they had a bunch at Saver's. She saw one for $65. 

At least we are getting closer. I went to investigate. 

They had one that would work at Goodwill for $65. At Saver's they had 7 different treadmills. The ones with wires exposed and visually run down were $39.99. The ones I was interested were $64.99. 

Cheap mode kicked in and I thought, I might as well ask if I can get a better price. But before I start to haggle, I need to make sure it works. 

My first choice was wheeled over to an outlet. After telling the young man over and over again that he needed a ratchet to let the treadmill down, he FINALLY went and got one and lo and behold... we were in business. 

We plugged it in, it flashed some lights, and then promptly powered down. 

Shit. 

He commented on how it would need to be thrown away now and went to start to do just that and I said, "Well I'm still interested in another one. Let's push that one to the side and bring the other over here to see if it works." 

That's right. I'm bossy wherever I go. 

He stammered a bit but complied. We got the next one up and we have the same issue with this one. We can't get it to lower. We are trying to figure it out and the manager walks by and says, "Yeah, we don't know how to get that one lowered. If you want to take a chance on it I'll sell it to you for $2." 

I politely declined as I was in the market for a working treadmill and not a giant ass paperweight. 

Another girl that worked there came by and agreed with me that you needed to pull this lever and lower it. She pushed the dim guy aside and did it anyway. It lowered. 

Sweet. 

We plugged it in. It wouldn't power on. 

I asked the dim dude if he had turned the switch on in the front. He says, "Oh yeah." and then clicked it twice. 

Still nothing. 

DAMMIT! 

He walked away for another call and I looked at the girl and said, "I just need to see for myself." 

He had it powered off. Ack. 

I turned it on and we were in business! 

It made lights. It made walkey. It changed walkey speeds. It changed inclines. 

Hot damn! 

I said, "GO GET THE $2 MANAGER! HE OWES ME A DEAL!" 

They all had a good laugh. I said, "I'm not kidding." 

When $2 manager got there I said, "Alright, I've worked for you for the last 30 minutes and you offered this thing to me earlier for $2 if I could get the incline down. I did that and more. What's a realistic price?" 

He thought for a minute and said, "Well it is overpriced right now. I can let it go for... $14.99?" 

I said, "That'll work." 

Let me tell you about this $14.99 treadmill. 

It has a tv screen on it that connects to cable. It has an MP3 player hookup. This thing is BEAST. 

Which would explain why it is in my garage and not in my house because it WON'T FIT THROUGH THE MOTHER PUPPY DOOR! 

It took three grown men to get it in the back of the truck. Then there was just me and Jonah (16 year old) to get it out of the truck. 

We were struggling something fierce and we hear this vagrant from the street (dressed head to toe in hunter green and wearing army boots) say, "Ya'll need some help?"

Jonah and I locked eyes like, "is this a good idea?" without saying a word. Then we both looked at the sketchy looking man and said, "Yes we do!" 

It was worth the murder risk at that point. 

We get it out of the truck and off he went. We managed to get it to the front door. That's when we realized going in the door was not an option. We needed major help. 

I'm sweating from places on my body I didn't know could sweat. We try a few different ways. I heckle my neighbors for help. They also conclude that it wasn't going in that door and we'd need to take it apart to fit. 

We get it in the garage and start to take it apart. We got nuts and bolts and screws out and it seems promising... 

... and this whole damn thing stays together. In tact. 

AGHGHGHGHGHGHGH!

We quit. We were bathed in our sweat and the dirt from my garage and it wasn't in the cards. 

Susan came out later that night. Same result. Except when we tried to move it to the side the damn belt came off (like we were trying to do desperately earlier in the day!). It exposed a wire casing that gives us about 6 inches of wiggle room. 

Before you give me advice on this, remember: 

We tried taking the doors off the hinges. 

We tried on its side, top,  bottom, upside-down, and topsy turvy. We were the Kama Sutra of treadmill transportation. 

I'm familiar with Friends and the principal of PIVOT. 

I've invited special guests to a "Treadmill Raising" on Monday night. This thing is getting in my house come hell or high water. 

I'm not wasting my $14.99!!!