WTF Wednesdasy: That Awkward Moment When...

I am an awkward moment magnet. One day I'll share some of the real doozies with you, but here are some of my more tame favorites. 

That awkward moment when... you make eye contact when eating a banana (or sucking on a popsicle). Friendly hint: Super awkward insurance requires you always lift the phallic object to your mouth and never bring your mouth down to the phallic object. Trust me. 

That awkward moment when... you know for sure you don't recognize the person waving at you but you don't want to be rude so you furiously wave back and smile and then they give you this weird look and avert eye contact. That's when you notice their BFF behind you giving you the judgey-eye. 

That awkward moment when... you get home from a long day and the first thing you see in the mirror is that piece of spinach you ate for lunch 6 hours ago. Meanwhile, you thought your co-workers were your friends. 

That awkward moment when... you are trying desperately to get out a thought and you get that dry tickle in your throat that causes you to cough like you are having an asthma attack. You try and try to get it under control and everyone just stares at you while you hack yourself into oblivion. 

That awkward moment when... you are in an intimate setting with another person and suddenly "that smell" hits your nostrils. You know you didn't rip one and you know they did, but they just sit there like they don't smell it while your eyes water and you force back gags. 

That awkward moment when... the overly clingy person with no boundaries or social clues but is also super sensitive finds you and clearly wants to share their life story with you so you fake an important phone call... again... for the 500th time to cut the conversation short. 

That awkward moment when... you are trapped on an elevator with a stranger and then they try to make small talk (why can't we just stand in silence?!) 

That awkward moment when... you see someone on the sidewalk walking toward you. You don't want to seem like a rude bitch but you also don't want to seem super creepy by smiling while they are 50 yards out so you each keep your head down just enough to not be creepy but just enough to see the appropriate time to smile... and then you miss it. 

That awkward moment when... someone unintentionally sneaks up on you and you give a high pitched squeal and random body jerks in response. Then you try to regain your composure and your dignity only to feel like a sissy with no street cred instead. 

That awkward moment when... you say something super witty and ultra funny and you are met with awkward glances and pitty laughs... 

Those are some things that have been on my mind lately. Mainly because I have experienced most of them lately. 

So what are your favorite awkward moments? Comment below and maybe I'll do a round 2 soon :-) 

P.S. Please don't make my round 2 begin with  

"That awkward moment when... you ask people to comment on your blog with their favorite awkward moments and then no one comments and you want to die."

kthnksbai