Confessions of a Non-Decorator

There have to be some of you guys with your Christmas trees still up.




 

Right?

No?

Just me?

Fantastic.

As I looked at my Christmas tree last night that is STILL UP, I couldn't help but think to myself, "When God was doling out all the 'girly" when I was born, where was I? How did I get missed?"

Because let's be honest... decorating SUCKS.

But what sucks worse than decorating?

Taking down the damn decorations!

It is kind of like making your bed in the morning... why would I do that? I'm just going to get right back in it tonight.

Can't I just cover the tree with a bag and be done?



I mean, at least decorating for Christmas you get hot chocolate and see your son dance around to Elvis Christmas songs...

Just me again? Oh well.

But there is no "put the Christmas decorations up" music. And what drink goes with that?

Vodka? Beer?

I need one or both to get the motivation to put those things up.

You have to take down the ornaments and lovingly wrap them in bubble paper or you'll have to sift through shards of glass next Christmas.

Then the tree comes in 3 different parts. And the box says it'll fit a 7ft tree in it, but it means that you have to fold it like an origami chandelier and then you and the whole family have to wrestle the box into submission while you strap it down before one of those wily branches gets out and you have to start the whole process again. And get a tetanus shot.

If you are lucky enough to get that thing strapped in the box, then you have to lug the 40lb box upstairs and into the attic.

Attics suck too! Its dark and cold and I'm positive there is a family of spiders up there plotting my demise.

By the end of all of this, I need a nap. Just thinking about it makes me need a nap.

So what do I do instead of taking down the damn Christmas tree?

I take a nap. Because napping is fun and does not suck. I can't say the same about the drama that is a Christmas tree.