Sam's Future Career

You know how every parent likes to dream about what their child will grow up and be? Most go with doctor, or lawyer, or scientist, or President...

I've tried pretty hard to steer clear of this line of thinking because 1) how can you tell at 3 years old and 2) I don't want to put unrealistic expectations on him.

Up until this last week or so, if a gun were held to my head, I would have guessed emergency services of some sort. He is obsessed with fireman, policemen, and ambulances.

Up until this last week or so, if he was in the shower or general playtime, the majority of activities were prefaced with:

"I'm a fireman. What happened?"

or

"I'm a police man. What happened?"

or

"Get in the ambulance! I take you to the hospital!... What happened?"

To which I come up with some random story about something catching on fire or bad guys or whatever and he responds and saves the day, just to follow it with another: "I'm a fireman. What happened?"

This last week, though, he has had a cold. And I don't know if this is a brain-eating bug or what, but shower time has turned into him drawing something obscure on the glass door with the steam, and saying, "Mom, do you like my shoe?"



1) It does not resemble a shoe.
 
2) Why is he drawing a shoe? Every night? For a week straight?
 


So he asks if I like his shoe, to which I reply, "I love it!"
 
Then he says, "Do you want to buy one?"
 
And I say, "How much?"
 
Then I get a myriad of responses.
 
In the beginning, the response was, "Fifteen dollars!"
 
Then it changed to, "Four dollars."
 
Then it changed to, "Two dollars."

And now... it is, "FREE! NO DOLLARS!"
 
 
 
 
So here is my guess as of right now what he may grow up to be:


A shoe salesman.


For all those wondering who this is, it is Al Bundy, the most famous fictional shoe salesman of all time.
 
And his life was sad and depressing and I don't want that for my son. Unless he is the best damned shoe salesman this side of the Mason-Dixon....
 
 
Which leads me to what he will not be...


A successful businessman.




 Not that I want Sam to turn into an asshat billionaire with extremely bad hair and a cradle-robbing complex... but even if I did... I'd be let down pretty hard core.

1) He designs shoes then gives them away for free. A classic Trump "no-no".

2) He likes older women for the time being. So far his only "girlfriends" have been Gena (26) and Lane (16).

3) Okay there is a possibility he will have bad hair judging by the mess that is his hair in the mornings. But his Aunt B is pretty vocal about bad hair and my guess is it wouldn't go that way for long if she has anything to do with it.



So as you can see, I have no idea what this child will be. I'm sure he has more surprises in store for me and I'm going to continue to not guess. I'll just cross my fingers and hope we can scratch shoe salesman off the list of possibilities.