Apparently my weirdo escapades weren't over with that experience.
Justin and I decided that since Sam was at Susan's tonight (much love to you SMACK!) and since it is August and I don't want to cook (shout out to myself!) that we would go somewhere out to eat tonight. As we discussed where we wanted to go, we were both in agreement that it needed to be somewhere we couldn't go with the boy (not that we don't love you, older version of Sam who hopefully doesn't remember being allergic to everything).
What did this mean?
Larry's Pizza...
where there is a sign as you walk in that announces they cook with milk and nuts and make no apologies for it. Ahhhhh Larry's.
As we are driving on the interstate to get to Larry's, I notice I'm going 54 miles per hour.
The speed limit is technically 65. Err'body goes 75. It is understood.
So why am I traveling so slowly?
Because the car in front of me is.
So I went around them.
And what I saw as we were passing them by was enough for me to take notice, for sure.
Justin and I were talking as I was passing about what in the heck they were doing that they felt it necessary to go that slowly on the interstate. As we were rounding the side of them, I noticed the silhouette of two older women and had that shameful thought to myself of, "Well that explains it."
I admit it. I thought it.
And I was wrong.
Because while they may have been old, that was not why they were going so slowly.
Upon further investigation, the lady in the passenger's side seat was preoccupied in the mirror, presumably fixing her hair AND applying make-up simultaneously.
That could be distracting for a driver.
But I doubt the driver noticed because she was a bit preoccupied herself.
Justin and I thought it was profound enough to 1) blog about and 2) re-enact.
You're welcome.
That's right folks. She was brushing her teeth.
Now I know people who do this in the car. It isn't all that weird.
But when you are going 54 MPH on the interstate, and someone passes you, and you CREEPILY turn around and make eye contact as you are going to town on your teeth... that's the stuff awkwardness is made of, right there.
PG list of times I don't want to make eye contact with you:
1. As you pass gas audibly
2. As you readjust yourself in the downtown area
3. During or immediately following bathroom time (stall crack peepers anyone?)
4. While shopping for family planning or feminine hygiene products
5. While running to Walmart w/ no make-up in sweats
6. While eating a popsicle and/or banana
7. WHILE BRUSHING YOUR FLINGING FLANGING TEETH... ESPECIALLY WHILE DRIVING
And also... WHERE WERE THEY GOING?!
You would think if one is doing hair and make-up and the other is catching up on their dental hygiene, that they must be headed somewhere important. Was there a sale on Polident? Were they headed to a date from their online dating profile? Did their red hats finally arrive across town? And why was there not time to brush before they left but there was enough time to grab the toothbrush on the way out?! Answers people! I need answers!
Let me tell you folks, once again this proves that multi-tasking is a myth. Had they just driven the speed limit and gotten to wherever they needed to be, they could have brushed their teeth and fixed hair much quicker while not operating heavy machinery. However, my night, and yours, would have been far less entertaining.
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