My girl, Tia and Hands On Pants Off, shows her awesomeness once again by starting this wicked cool link-up to promote the love and drown out the hate for bloggers.
The blogging world can be amaze-balls once minute and then full of hatred the next. (If you want proof just look at my "Rearing Children" post)
This was great timing for me since I had the opportunity to help my sister create a blog a few weeks ago!
Her name is Brandi, and even though we are polar opposites on EVERYTHING except the Braves, she has found a passion and I'm all for her pursuing it!
Turns out her passion was ignited by Christian Grey (ew! hatred! demon!). But we all have to be doing something right?
She read 50 Shades of Grey and began to love reading.
And now she keeps herself up late at night reading copious amounts of mommy porn.
What's in it for you?
Well if you also love mommy porn (or reading in general), her blog is a constant book review. It is mainly for women and mainly about romances and love stories, but it isn't just that and to be honest, she is pretty damn good.
Go check out Aunt B's Dirty Little Secret and give her a follow. Recommend books for her to review and comment on the books she has read as well.
Help me tell the world about Aunt B's Dirty Little Secret... pretty soon, it shouldn't be much of a secret!
I don't get to blog often. I realize that. And I'm doing it today against my better judgment as I have lots of homework and a ten page paper to write.
However, I just returned from Walmart with my son for a "quick" trip.
He didn't shut up the whole time. Not once.
Not even once!
Want proof?
Here is a list of stuff that "is what he always wanted":
Spongebob Bandaids
A Lady Chic Razor
Two Spiderman Web Shooters
3 Bicycles (one was unsuitable b/c the training wheels weren't "real")
Watermelon Juice
Perry the Platypus Hot Chocolate
Nesquick Crazy Straw Glasses
Go-Gurt (the kind with milk in it that he can't eat)
The Cereal with a Toy in It (who knows which one)
A Mario Kart T-Shirt
That's what I can remember.
List of songs he sang randomly but certainly with an audience:
Shake It Off - Taylor Swift
Girl in a Country Song - Maddie and Tae
Sexy and I Know It - LMFAO
Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke
Total number of people that giggled as we passed them by:
8
Total number of people who patted me on the back while giggling:
2
Total number of people who commented on his "vibrant personality":
3
Total number of people who took me up on my offer to take him home:
0
I can feel it. You still don't grasp how chattery he was. Here is video proof:
Wait there is more!
I took a note out of my sister's book and gave him something to hold between his lips. If he didn't let it fall (i.e. shut the hell up), he would get a piece of candy when we got home.
What did he do?
He hummed. He mother-puppy hummed.
So. Much. Noise.
That's how I concluded his alter ego is Donkey.
Not because he is an ass (he is though). Remember this clip? (start at 1:05)
Bless my heart.
See funny things like this and more by following me on Instagram and Twitter (@rikkidale on both). I don't get to blog nearly as much as I used too, but those take very little time :-)
It's been a while and I woke up this morning and thought, "I should blog today."
Then, I immediately felt something on my butt. And I thought, "Hey there thing on my butt. What are you?"
It was quite early. I wasn't alarmed for my health or anything. But I was certainly curious what was on my butt.
(my husband is looking over my shoulder right now thinking, "WTF was on her butt?!" Don't worry, he'll find out along with you all.)
Anyway, back to my butt.
There was something on it.
I reached around and touched it... (it wasn't my butthole or anything... don't get carried away... it was on the broad side of my right cheekers where all good things in life are).
It was a mother puppy M&M.
You would think this is the part where it would end and say, "that was my WTF moment."
It wasn't. My thought process after discovering the ass candy was WTF worthy.
Thought 1:
Those little candy shells aren't playing.
Seriously. They are magical. I don't have a slight ass. I don't typically move a lot in my sleep. There was no chocolate melted on my ass nor the sheets. They should make planes out of that shit!
Melts in your mouth, not in your hand?
Also, not on your butt!
Thought 2:
DAMN IT! I WANTED TO EAT THAT.
I realize it would have ended up on my ass anyway, but I would have liked to have tasted it first, you know?!
Thought 3:
Seriously... WTF is that candy shell made of?! I ingest that quite often. Is it digestible?
What should have been thought 4 (but didn't occur to me right now):
How did the damn M&M get on my ass in the first place!?
1) I aim for my mouth every time. Not my ass.
2) I am the cheapest person on the planet. Wasting even one M&M pisses me off.
3) I have a deep love and admiration for peanut butter M&Ms... I keep an eye on them.
How in the hell did that happen?
And how in the hell did I not notice ALL NIGHT?!
Folks is tired round these parts. Real. Damn. Tired.
Have you ever found an M&M on your butt?
I started my doctoral program this week. As dorky as I am, it is very exciting. I find some of the readings will be fascinating and writing 20+ page papers doesn't really freak me out much.
But did you notice I said "some" readings?
Reading for educational purposes makes my eyes close. For real.
I can't do it for long periods of time. Heck, I'm not fantastic at it for 10 minutes at a time without having 14 "SQUIRREL!!!" breaks.
When I was getting my master's degree, I figured out that if I walked while I read, my chances at falling asleep were minimal (though I did test the boundaries of this probability many times).
I would either go walk the track and read, walk on the treadmill and read, or just walk around the apartment. And it worked!
Which is why I now have a treadmill at home. You remember the story.
After my first class on Monday night, it sunk in just how much walking I'm about to do. And as the cheapest person on the planet, I haven't bought a pair of tennis shoes in a very, very long time.
Want proof?
I wore these to the kickball tournament the other night because I couldn't find the "new" tennis shoes my sister had given me when she was tired of them.
Yup. Those are Asics. From high school.
I bet your shoes can't change colors. That's all I'm saying.
So after class on Monday I realized I needed 1) a book bag and 2) tennis shoes.
For once in my life, I sprung for brand new shoes because I wanted to see just exactly how much damage I could do to them using them exclusively for reading class material/dissertation material.
So here is the before shot!
In about 5 years or so, check back and I'll do the after shot in my gown! Don't think I'm playing!
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