There is Humor in the Poop

Thanks for joining me in the 30 Days of Thankfulness Link-up! If you want to participate, just join the link up over at Crystal Michelle's Mess and participate as often as you would like!

Today's topic is Humor and as my luck would have it, my son's butt could sense this topic was coming and did not want to disappoint. :-)

I bet adult Sam just hates 4 year old Sam sometimes. This blog will be so helpful for the psychiatrist.

On Wednesday, both myself and my husband were scheduled to fly out to different parts of the country. This means Sam got to spend a few nights with the Almighty Susan.

The problem was, Justin had to be at the airport by 5 am. Which means we were up at 4 am.

Sam was not pleased. The only way I could get him excited about it was to promise him IHOP after we dropped dad off. The promise of food always wins.

We arrive at IHOP at 5:30 am and we ate and were merry. Like really merry. Like Sam sang Taylor Swift loudly merry.

There is only so much time you can waste at the IHOP at 6 am so we headed out around 6:15 am. When we got in the car, Sam says, "My belly hurts."

No big deal. Not my first rodeo. I reassured him, "You got up really early and had some greasy food. You'll be okay."

I decided to head to get some gas. When I got back in the car from getting gas, Sam is now crying saying he is going to throw up.

Shit.

Even though Susan doesn't open until 7:30 am, I went ahead and headed to her house and figured we would just hang out in the front until she woke up and then we'd go in a little early.

We get to her house and Sam is SCREAMING and THRASHING... all the while swearing he is going to throw up. Here is how the conversation went.

Sam: I'M GONNA FROW UP!!!!

Me: It's okay. Just throw up in the yard.

Sam: NOOOOO!!!! OWWW!!!!!

Me: You'll feel better if you just throw up. Just let it go.

Sam: NOOOO!!! I NEED TO GO INSIIIIIIDDDEEE!!!

Me: It is 6:30 am Sam. We aren't going in. Just throw up out here.

Sam: WAKE HER UP!!! I NEED TO GO INSIDE!!!

Me: No. Throw up out here. Just do it.

Sam: WHAT IF I THROW UP ALL DAY!?!?!?!

Me: Well you need to start throwing up for it to get that far. Just throw up.

TEARS. ALL THE TEARS.
INCOHERENT SOBS.
SO MANY TEARS.

Me: Baby I'm right here. Just throw up.

Then he suddenly stops and yells, "I NEED TO GO POOP!!!!"

Bingo. Yahtzee. You have my attention.

Me: Well that I can wake her up for. She'd rather you poop in the toilet probably.

I called her and she woke up and let us in. I apologized profusely but I'm certain she didn't hear it over ALL THE YELLING AND SCREAMING.

I get him to the downstairs bathroom and he is screaming,
"IT'S TOO LATE! IT'S TOO LATE!!!!!!"

Me: It isn't too late. I'll change you if I need to. Just get on the toilet.

Sam: NOOOO!!! ITS TOO LAAATE!

I get him on the toilet. It wasn't too late (thank you higher beings).

Sam: I'm GONNA THROW UP!!!!!

Me: (hands him the trash can) Here. Now no matter what end you want to use, you have a receptacle. Now throw up or poop. Your choice.

Sam: AGHGGHGH!!!! I HATE THIS!!!! OWWWWW!!!

Then all of the sudden. The noise stopped. After exactly one second of silence, the grunts began.

His face turned red and then purple. His eyes bugged out. He didn't blink.

Sam: UGHGHGHGHGHGHGH!!!!!!

Loud 'PLOP' followed by a powerful 'SPLASH'.

Sam looks me dead in the eye, grins to the point of laughter and says,

"I'M SO HAPPY!!!!"

I lost it. I laughed so stinking hard. He was so happy and relieved he joined me in the laughter.

Sam: That was a close one mommy!

Yes it was son. We almost over-reacted to something.


November 1st – Intro – November
2. Crystal Michelle – www.crystalmichellesmess.com – Un Answered Prayers
3. Music
4. Karen – http://www.apeekatkarensworld.com/ – Friendship
5. Memories
6. Belly Laughs
7. Rikki – http://www.mommasgotadudesname.com/ – Simple Pleasures
8. Humor
9. A defeat that made you stronger
10. Erin- http://www.shesabigstar.com/ – Being a Mom
11. The one thing you love most about YOU
12. Duckie – http://www.frikkenduckie.com/ – Beach Days
13. Laura – http://lauraakalolo.blogspot.com/ – Mans Best Friend
14. Strength
15. Love
16. Erin – http://www.homemadehappenings-erin.blogspot.com – Family
17. Tradition
18. Mom & Dad
19. Candra – http://camoandlipstick.blogspot.com – Spouse ( husband or wife )
20. Thankful through pictures
21. Health
22. Angela – ( need your info sweets )
23. Insert your own here
24. Social Media
25. Ganeeban – http://girlytomboymusings.blogspot.com – Time
26. Booze
27. Thanksgiving!!
28. Blog Friends
29. Your State
30. The End of This 30 Day Blog!

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