That One Time I Overshared on the Interwebs

That one time... If only it were that few.

I'm single parenting it for two weeks. To most people this would scare them but not me. Sure I miss my husband but it isn't all that much different and I get Sam's undivided attention.

Rad-sauce.

Except I forgot it is swim lesson weeks and I have an extra child to care for on swim lesson night.

No big deal. Tacos cook up quick. Problem solved.

Until I realized I have two children to entertain and feed and I have a grocery list three deep and two items on it are time sensitive. Bummer.

So I improvised and made a very awkward text request to my friend who will be picking up her child shortly from my care.

I text her the following:

Random favor: can you either stop at Walmart and pick up a few things for me (drano, tampons, and frozen broccoli... Don't be jealous of my glamorous life) or sit with the kids while I run there real fast? Two of the items are time sensitive lol
One isn't broccoli

I just knew she'd take the watch the kids option but much to my pleasure and surprise she said she'd stop by Walmart.

SUCCESS!

Then I heard "SPLASH" and, two children in unison go, "UH-OH..."

For the second time today, I need to clean up spilled milk. Ugh.

Off I trot to my clothes hamper to get a towel... Until... I see...

A damned spider blocking my path.

Folks... Two things I refuse to do at my house: 1) weedeat 2) kill spiders

Eff. My. Life.

I seriously assessed what I thought the damage would be if I just left the milk on the hardwood floors.

Is replacing the floor that high of a price to pay?

I started looking for options. I considered chemical warfare but at my disposal was glass cleaner and febreeze and if this sucker got loose without dying I wouldn't sleep.

I considered squishing it with a shoe.

All of mine were trapped in my room blocked by Shasty McNasty Spider Pants.

About this time, Sam says, "I know! I'll kill it, Momma!"

Pause. Stare.

This. Is. Genius.

And also...

I'm the biggest sissy to walk the planet.

He puts on a shoe. Lily decides to help.

Two three year olds saved me from a spider. And I love them for it.

I leave you with a picture of the war zone. I'm off to unclog the shower.

Oh and also, when getting Sam a diaper for bed, I ran into ANOTHER spider. Bit never fear! I dispatched Go-Go Gadget Sam and after 15 tries and chasing it around the kitchen, he killed it.

Whew! After I unclog the shower I think I'll burn the house down. Just in case.

Posting from phone: yes he used the big pink as a weapon. Your eyes are not deceiving you.