How Parenting and Working with College Students is Pretty Much the Same Thing

I have worked in Housing and Residence Life now for going on 10 years. That is a lot of working with college students. They never cease to amaze me with their brazen ability to shock and disgust. They are wonderful bunch but they sure can be creative in the scenarios they get themselves into. (I could write a book... and probably should!)

When I became a parent in 2010, I didn't realize at the time how much working with college students was going to help me as a parent. That first year of life pretty much consisted of feed it, change it, put it to bed, and shove a plug in its mouth if all else failed (plug = pacifier).

Then he started walking and talking and I realized I had my hands full. He too began to amaze me with his brazen ability to shock and disgust.

I found myself saying the same things to him that I have once said to a college student. Examples include:

"What on earth made you think that was a good idea?!"

"USE YOUR WORDS! Tell me what is the matter!"

"Get down from there! We do not jump off of the furniture!"

I began to use the skills/knowledge I have developed working with college students when dealing with Sam and his shenanigans. I hope you enjoy...

 

1. If they are not properly stimulated (going to class, having activity, etc) they both turn into little terrorists.

• To see this in action with college students, visit any campus on a snow day streak. Housing professionals CRINGE at snow days because it means more work for us! The students have no place to go and nothing to do but tear stuff up! We have had stools broken, chairs broken, and once there was a head rammed into a wall. 
• Have you ever taken a toddler to a restaurant and forgotten to bring something for them to do while you wait for your food? I bet you only did once. If they have nothing to stimulate them, they will find something. And it may be throwing a cheddar biscuit at an unsuspecting lady at the next table. 

2. If caught doing something bad, they will both lie until you have them trapped.

• I was called to a room because we had suspicions he had a cat in the room. I get to the room, introduce myself and ask if he has a cat. He says, "Nope." I said, "Okay well do you mind if I come in and take a look around?" He said, "Sure." I look around the apartment (that smells like cat pee) and as I round the corner to the bathroom I see a litter box in the floor. I said, "Is that your litter box?" He said, "Nope." I said, "Well we have a problem either way because either you or a cat is pooping in the litter box." 
• I came into the kitchen once and noticed a large puddle of water in the floor with little tracks of water leading out of it. Of course, I go to find where Sam is. I find him in his room, soaking wet. I said, "Sam, honey, did you spill some water?" He said, "No." I said, "Really? You are wet honey and there is a lot of water in the kitchen floor." He said, "Skipper pee pee'd."  

3. Bribery works with both groups.

• When we are planning an educational program and we aren't sure if students will attend, we provide free food. Students will show up every time and if you are really smart, you offer the food at the end of the program. Works like a charm. 
• When Sam is being particularly cantankerous and refuses to give Grandma a good bye hug, all it takes is me standing behind Grandma dangling a sucker over her head. Suddenly he is in the hugging mood and everyone is happy. 

4. If you leave a group of them unsupervised for any length of time, bad things will happen.

• The result is the same with both groups. If you leave them unsupervised, you'll come back into the room: one is bleeding, one is crying, and you have no idea what that is on your walls.

5.  Quid pro quo is real for both groups.

• Rarely does a student show up at my office with a fresh Dr. Pepper or an assortment of chocolate and not want something. They may not want it right then, but they do eventually. And they are not shy to bring it up at the most opportune time. 
• I came home after a particularly bad day at work and I needed some Sam time. I went up to him and said, "Sam, Momma sure could use a hug." And without missing a beat, he cocked his head sideways and said, "Momma, I sure could use a donut." 

It is quite handy having this knowledge when working with these groups. I had been to the point already where students couldn't surprise me. They can stump me for a minute, but they can't surprise me. And really Sam can't surprise me anymore either. He may catch me off guard, but I'm not really surprised.

And I've learned with both groups, even when you have no idea what you are doing or how to react, it best to act like you do and keep going with confidence, because both can smell fear and will use it against you.