The House that Haunts Me

This could be a long one... you've been warned...

My job: I love my job. I am a hall director which means I am in charge of 350 students, 10 Resident Assistants, around 5 Lobby Managers, and a full time Night Clerk. I handle judicial cases, budget, programming, etc... basically keep the building running without much alert to the higher ups. A part of this is to respond to emergencies at all hours of the night. This means I'm bound my contract to live here. This is a great thing actually becuase along with not paying rent, I don't pay utilities or anything else associated with apartment living (and its a really nice apartment).

The situation: This is hopefully (fingers crossed) my last year in my current position. This means I should be able to live off-campus next year and no longer have zero privacy. This is all provided that a new job is created, I apply for it and get it. We are a growing department so this is a very real possibility but there is always that possibility that it doesn't happen.

So Justin and I are in a unique situation of trying to find a house that we want to buy that we may or may not be able to buy or move into.

House We Love Round 1:

We went swimming one Saturday and decided to drive around some neighborhoods and just look around. We saw this one house that we both really liked and noticed it was for sale.

Beautiful right? Love this house! We got out and peaked in the windows... loved it. Just went to the backyard and noticed it was unlocked! We went inside... LOVED IT!

Justin called the realtor and left a message. She calls us back the next day (after we couldn't sleep wondering about this house) and they were about to accept an offer on it.

:-(

So we moved on.

House We Love Round 2:

A month or so later, I get an email that this listing has been updated. I go look and it has come down in price $10,000.... that's right... TEN GRAND! So Justin calls again and the lady who was going to buy it lost her job and its back on the market now AND the bank wants to short sell it.

So we are all excited again thinking maybe this is it! We go to the bank to find out what we can get pre-approved for. Turns out our credit is great and we start signing applications. One particular page was about having to move into the house within 60 days of closing...

FRICK!

I can't do that. I would have to quit my job to do that. A couple of things wrong with that... 1) I love my job and have no intentions of quiting. 2) If I were allowed to do that by some weird act of God, I wouldn't be okay with it. The building needs someone there to respond to emergencies. It just isn't feasible and I couldn't do as good of a job staying in another town, no matter how close it is.

My Anxiety: So turns out spending money makes me extremely uncomfortable. Any time Justin and I have had to spend a significant amount of money (furniture, car,  etc) I turn into a walking ball of stress. I get tense and nervous. Most of me wants to throw up.

Yesterday was no exception. Except for we are spending thousands of dollars (potentially) so its only magnified. I was on the verge of a panic attack, I promise. I really did think I was going to throw up at one point. I was having chest pains. Real anxiety.

All of that for nothing... again.

So now, Justin and I have a deal that we are not LOOKING, INQUIRING, or ANYTHING RELATED TO REALTY until the date reads 2011. Until then... all bets are off... I can't handle the stress.