Bubby woke up crying at 4:30 am this morning. I could already tell it was legitimate and not one of those "I woke up in the middle of the night and don't know what to do with myself" cries. I got into his room and his chubby little leg is hanging outside the crib, almost wrapped around the corner of the crib.
My heart broke for the little guy. As cute as it was (and it was really cute), the look of shear confusion on his face was just terrible. I got his leg free and picked him up to rock him and calm him down. Within just a few minutes (if that) he was calm and falling back asleep in my arms. I wanted to make sure he'd go back to sleep because he had at least two good more hours of sleep in him. So we rocked for about 5 min of him being asleep to insure he was asleep and I could go back to bed.
Well that's what I thought. But his little eyes shot open about an inch from the crib. And judging by the look on his face, I must have just bought him a puppy, told him about the puppy, told him that with the puppy came and endless supply of candy, then slapped him across the face and killed the puppy with my bare hands.
HOLY CRAP was he mad! It was shrill screaming terror. Want to see a haunted house? For a reasonable price, let me wake up my son in the middle of the night and you hang out to see the nightmare that ensues!
I tried patting him, singing to him, reassuring him from a far that he was okay and needed to go back to sleep. He didn't care much for that. So I went ahead and made him a bottle (I know you aren't supposed to but frankly, I don't care), he didn't want it. And you know he's mad if he's turning down a bottle.
So the only option was to cry it out. And boy did he ever.
One day when he reads these posts about himself, I feel like he will be laughing a lot. It is times like these when I shake my head and go, "Oh my gosh, you act just like your daddy!" His daddy is so head strong and when he gets stuck on an idea, its going to happen come hell or high water!
At least I can laugh about it. It is easily one of the hardest things ever to have to listen to your child cry and intentionally do nothing about it. There are those that disagree with this tactic, and that's fine. Everybody has to do what they feel is best for their child and it changes with every person what they feel that is. But regardless, choosing to do what is best for your child versus giving them what they want is just that... a conscious choice.... every day... and man is it hard!
Its now 5:00 am... Bubby has stopped crying for about 5 minutes... now Momma contemplates how to get back in the room to get the bottle out of the crib... Oh. Snap.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Lots of Thoughts
This post is going to be RANDOM... you've been warned.
I love Southwest Airlines. It caters to my OCD. You see, if I check in early (which I always do) you get a better seat. Simple as that. And everyone who flies Southwest generally knows this. So as I like the aisle seat, I get to pick one. Normally that means one that no one is in the window or middle seat in. Every once in a while that means I have someone in the window seat but rarely does it mean someone is in the middle seat. And my anti-socialism rejoices.
Last weekend, my son and I were supposed to be baptized. Instead, Justin took care of Sam, my grandma and dad and stepmom turned around halfway to Little Rock to go home, and I found a walk-in clinic to go to. I was in between a dose of antibiotics and mid round developed an allergy. Sunday morning greets me with hives from literally the top of my head (in my hair, on my face) to the bottom of my feet (seriously, in between my toes). I find myself thankful now that a few came up the night before and I mistook them for bites because I took Benadryl before bed. I am convinced this is why I didn't have an asthma attack in the middle of the night. I'm almost all good now though. And the devil is just going to have to find a new victim... we are getting baptized. Deal with it.
Speaking of the devil, most of you know this but last November my mother was diagnosed with chronic myleoid leukemia. What does that mean? It sucks, but it doesn't suck as bad as it could. Her father died of leukemia. I think that was where the devil got his idea. Mom took it very hard when her dad died and its always been a fear that one of us would be stricken by it. This leukemia is not the same. This one attacks the blood because of a mutated gene. BUT, there is a magical pill now that you can take and it basically keeps the disease at bay... so long as you take the pill. Mom is on the pill and her blood work continues to be good. So its almost like she doesn't even have the C word... except she does. Its really weird.
Where am I going with this? Here. The devil is showing his stupid little butt. My mother is a very strong lady. And while, yes, leukemia is a curse word in our family, it is still just a word. It is just a thing to overcome. And you'd think Mr. Devilman would get that. I got to thinking about Mom's situation the other day while waiting on said Southwest flight (see how I tie everything together?) and it just sucks. Every month she has to go get her blood drawn. And every month she has to wonder, "Will it come back this time?" Every year she has to endure a bone marrow biopsy... just to be safe.
Piss on you devil. That's what I say. I understand the pecking order... you need to bring people down and build your evil little army... whatever... but it has been written good sir. You will be defeated. And even if it wasn't already written... why her? She's a strong woman. She is going to beat this. You will not win. You would think you would pick someone weak and vulnerable and not stupid enough to fall into your spineless tactics.
Did my grandpa die of leukemia? Yes. Did the devil win that battle? Absolutely not. My grandpa died in the arms of Jesus. My grandpa died knowing exactly where he would be the next second. And he left that with all of us.
So to bring this full circle (I think), we are getting baptized Sunday. We are. I can wake up with hives, puking, a third arm growing out of my head... whatever. But this too will pass and I will be baptized. I'm so not kidding here. My child will grow up in the house of the Lord. We will be a Jesus filled family. And this declaration will happen if I have to kidnap a preacher, steal a rickety old van, and throw all of us in a creek to make it happen. Back off devil man... it's happening.
I love Southwest Airlines. It caters to my OCD. You see, if I check in early (which I always do) you get a better seat. Simple as that. And everyone who flies Southwest generally knows this. So as I like the aisle seat, I get to pick one. Normally that means one that no one is in the window or middle seat in. Every once in a while that means I have someone in the window seat but rarely does it mean someone is in the middle seat. And my anti-socialism rejoices.
Last weekend, my son and I were supposed to be baptized. Instead, Justin took care of Sam, my grandma and dad and stepmom turned around halfway to Little Rock to go home, and I found a walk-in clinic to go to. I was in between a dose of antibiotics and mid round developed an allergy. Sunday morning greets me with hives from literally the top of my head (in my hair, on my face) to the bottom of my feet (seriously, in between my toes). I find myself thankful now that a few came up the night before and I mistook them for bites because I took Benadryl before bed. I am convinced this is why I didn't have an asthma attack in the middle of the night. I'm almost all good now though. And the devil is just going to have to find a new victim... we are getting baptized. Deal with it.
Speaking of the devil, most of you know this but last November my mother was diagnosed with chronic myleoid leukemia. What does that mean? It sucks, but it doesn't suck as bad as it could. Her father died of leukemia. I think that was where the devil got his idea. Mom took it very hard when her dad died and its always been a fear that one of us would be stricken by it. This leukemia is not the same. This one attacks the blood because of a mutated gene. BUT, there is a magical pill now that you can take and it basically keeps the disease at bay... so long as you take the pill. Mom is on the pill and her blood work continues to be good. So its almost like she doesn't even have the C word... except she does. Its really weird.
Where am I going with this? Here. The devil is showing his stupid little butt. My mother is a very strong lady. And while, yes, leukemia is a curse word in our family, it is still just a word. It is just a thing to overcome. And you'd think Mr. Devilman would get that. I got to thinking about Mom's situation the other day while waiting on said Southwest flight (see how I tie everything together?) and it just sucks. Every month she has to go get her blood drawn. And every month she has to wonder, "Will it come back this time?" Every year she has to endure a bone marrow biopsy... just to be safe.
Piss on you devil. That's what I say. I understand the pecking order... you need to bring people down and build your evil little army... whatever... but it has been written good sir. You will be defeated. And even if it wasn't already written... why her? She's a strong woman. She is going to beat this. You will not win. You would think you would pick someone weak and vulnerable and not stupid enough to fall into your spineless tactics.
Did my grandpa die of leukemia? Yes. Did the devil win that battle? Absolutely not. My grandpa died in the arms of Jesus. My grandpa died knowing exactly where he would be the next second. And he left that with all of us.
So to bring this full circle (I think), we are getting baptized Sunday. We are. I can wake up with hives, puking, a third arm growing out of my head... whatever. But this too will pass and I will be baptized. I'm so not kidding here. My child will grow up in the house of the Lord. We will be a Jesus filled family. And this declaration will happen if I have to kidnap a preacher, steal a rickety old van, and throw all of us in a creek to make it happen. Back off devil man... it's happening.
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Update on the Bubby
What am I super proud about today? My little boy ate 3 puffies last night and didn't gag! Then for dinner, I mixed some of a stage 3 dinner with a stage 2 and he ate it all without gagging!
This is such a big deal for him. At his last appt., I told the doctor about his gagging problem and the doctor said that if he doesn't make some major progress by his 1 year appt then he would have to do a swallowing study.
Momma is not okay with that. Of course I'd do what is best for my child, but I cannot imagine any part of a swallowing study would be fun for either of us. So we are working HARD on getting that gag reflex turned down. And he's doing so well!
Other updates: No he isn't crawling yet and no I'm not concerned. (Can you tell I'm tired of answering that question?)
The fact of the matter is, crawling isn't a milestone no matter how much people want to make it one. Some kids crawl, some don't. At his last appt, he was off the charts for weight and head circumference, and 75th percentile for height. He is BIG! That's a lot of body to be coordinating into a crawl (plus he is top heavy with that big ole' noggin).
He is, however, darn near turning flips midair he is rolling so well (insert fat joke here). He also uses his arms to position himself anywhere so he can roll and get there. And I noticed just this morning that he is starting to pull himself forward and push himself backwards with his arms a little bit.
He is still a jumper. Always has been I guess. Now when he's in his excersaucer it looks like he's jumping on a trampoline almost. He gets some air time.
He is also jabbering up a storm. He can say "Dada" although he has no idea who "Dada" is. He'll only make the "ma" sound every once in a while. Other than that, he squeals, and laughs, and grins, and talks his special little language to anything and everything that will listen.
Other tricks he does (I'm talking about him like he's a dog): He gives high fives (as long as you give applause) and he also can give sugar on demand (although I'm the only one he's done that for).
That's all the updates I have for now! He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I couldn't imagine life without him! (Its hard to remember life without him!)
This is such a big deal for him. At his last appt., I told the doctor about his gagging problem and the doctor said that if he doesn't make some major progress by his 1 year appt then he would have to do a swallowing study.
Momma is not okay with that. Of course I'd do what is best for my child, but I cannot imagine any part of a swallowing study would be fun for either of us. So we are working HARD on getting that gag reflex turned down. And he's doing so well!
Other updates: No he isn't crawling yet and no I'm not concerned. (Can you tell I'm tired of answering that question?)
The fact of the matter is, crawling isn't a milestone no matter how much people want to make it one. Some kids crawl, some don't. At his last appt, he was off the charts for weight and head circumference, and 75th percentile for height. He is BIG! That's a lot of body to be coordinating into a crawl (plus he is top heavy with that big ole' noggin).
He is, however, darn near turning flips midair he is rolling so well (insert fat joke here). He also uses his arms to position himself anywhere so he can roll and get there. And I noticed just this morning that he is starting to pull himself forward and push himself backwards with his arms a little bit.
He is still a jumper. Always has been I guess. Now when he's in his excersaucer it looks like he's jumping on a trampoline almost. He gets some air time.
He is also jabbering up a storm. He can say "Dada" although he has no idea who "Dada" is. He'll only make the "ma" sound every once in a while. Other than that, he squeals, and laughs, and grins, and talks his special little language to anything and everything that will listen.
Other tricks he does (I'm talking about him like he's a dog): He gives high fives (as long as you give applause) and he also can give sugar on demand (although I'm the only one he's done that for).
That's all the updates I have for now! He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I couldn't imagine life without him! (Its hard to remember life without him!)
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
UT-Austin: The Latest Victim
*Disclaimer: I'm an emotional student affairs professional as I write this. Take it for what it is worth.
Today, I'm at home sick. I should be resting and recooperating and getting ready to return to work tomorrow. What am I doing instead? Worrying myself sicker about what my friends at UT-Austin are going through.
For those who don't know, read this.
I realize that this is not a catastrophic casualty list and it probably won't stay on the mainstream news for even just a few days, but it is a big deal. It is a big deal because this kind of crap is happening more and more.
Have our responses gotten better since Virginia Tech? Sure. I couldn't be more proud of our university police teams all over the nation for the hard work and gruelingly training they are going through every day.
But what is the answer?!
I remember exactly how I felt the day I got the call from one of my previous RAs that shots were fired at UCA. My heart left my chest that day and joined all of the young men and women at UCA who were having to deal with it. It happened there. It happened at my... MY college!
You see on the news when it happens. Virginia Tech's logo with the black ribbon around it. Then it was Northern Illinois. Then... MY SCHOOL! The University of Central Arkansas! It was too real.
And now, I have friends that work at UT-Austin. And yeah, no one died but the one sad individual who couldn't just take his own life in the privacy of his own home, but had to scare an entire campus (an entire NATION) who are just trying to better themselves. It takes the selfishness of suicide to the next level.
Why do people spread terror on Earth? Why can't we just leave each other alone?
I obviously know the answer. And I know I have my answer. My answer of peace. Thank heavens I serve a God who takes the responsibility of judgment away from me, who protects, and who gives peace to those who seek it.
My heart is in Texas right now. It's bleeding for those who are having to make sense of this act. It's bleeding for those who have to clean up the mess, for those who have to return to school tomorrow, for those parents who have to continue to allow their children to attend school, and for the parents of that poor individual who took his own life in such a selfish manner. They are at the forefront of my prayers.
Today, I'm at home sick. I should be resting and recooperating and getting ready to return to work tomorrow. What am I doing instead? Worrying myself sicker about what my friends at UT-Austin are going through.
For those who don't know, read this.
I realize that this is not a catastrophic casualty list and it probably won't stay on the mainstream news for even just a few days, but it is a big deal. It is a big deal because this kind of crap is happening more and more.
Have our responses gotten better since Virginia Tech? Sure. I couldn't be more proud of our university police teams all over the nation for the hard work and gruelingly training they are going through every day.
But what is the answer?!
I remember exactly how I felt the day I got the call from one of my previous RAs that shots were fired at UCA. My heart left my chest that day and joined all of the young men and women at UCA who were having to deal with it. It happened there. It happened at my... MY college!
You see on the news when it happens. Virginia Tech's logo with the black ribbon around it. Then it was Northern Illinois. Then... MY SCHOOL! The University of Central Arkansas! It was too real.
And now, I have friends that work at UT-Austin. And yeah, no one died but the one sad individual who couldn't just take his own life in the privacy of his own home, but had to scare an entire campus (an entire NATION) who are just trying to better themselves. It takes the selfishness of suicide to the next level.
Why do people spread terror on Earth? Why can't we just leave each other alone?
I obviously know the answer. And I know I have my answer. My answer of peace. Thank heavens I serve a God who takes the responsibility of judgment away from me, who protects, and who gives peace to those who seek it.
My heart is in Texas right now. It's bleeding for those who are having to make sense of this act. It's bleeding for those who have to clean up the mess, for those who have to return to school tomorrow, for those parents who have to continue to allow their children to attend school, and for the parents of that poor individual who took his own life in such a selfish manner. They are at the forefront of my prayers.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
I have no original thoughts
Survey!
I stole this from Ashley... who stole it from Kaitlyn... who very likely didn't make it up herself...
1. When is your “engagement” anniversary:
June 11, 2005
2. When is your “marriage” anniversary:
June 24
3. How long have you known your spouse:
8 years
4. How long did you date/court before you were engaged:
Approximately 3 years
5. Where did you meet your spouse for the first time?
He was a mentor in State Hall. I lived there. We talked in the lobby.
6. What is your spouse’s full name:
Justin Turner... his mom doesn't believe in middle names... lol j/k
7. Do you have any children:
The most precious one ever!
8. How many – boys/girls:
1 big boy
9. Do you have any house pets:
Probably... but not on purpose LOL There is a cricket that I refuse to squish because I hate that sound and I never see it when Justin is around. Then there is a teeny tiny spider that, while I don't like spiders, he doesn't seem to be harming anyone, he just wants to be left in his corner. The cricket's name is Juanita. The spider's name is Hugh.
10. Do you own a house or rent:
Neither... its complicated.
11. Do you live in the country or town/city:
City
12. What is one of your favorite activities together:
Lately... Scrabble. But we also like the zoo.
13. Do you have a favorite vacation spot:
He has one... Washington DC. I have one... almost anywhere else. LOL
14. When did you first kiss?
I know it was in my dorm room. Maybe a few weeks in? I dunno.
15. What church do you attend?
A cute little Methodist one. They are so nice. And do a lot for the community.
16. Is this the church you were married in:
We went the heathen route and got married in a conference center.
17. What town is your current address at:
The big Arkansas city.. you know...
18. Do you work or stay at home:
Kind of both... but mostly work.
19. Where did you go on your honeymoon:
Cancun
20. What was the funniest gift you gave when dating?
A mechanical singing hamster in a hamster cage. I'll leave you to ponder that.
21. How long have you been together?
8 years.
22. How long did you know each other before you started dating?
About a month.
23. Who asked who out?
I did. He drug his feet. But the story is a whole other blog post. That I may have already done.
24. How old are each of you?
27 and 26
25. Where do each of you go to school?
Neither of us "go to school" any more. But we both did and still do for jobs.
26. Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Honestly... small stuff... like just getting on each other's nerves. We don't really fight about anything big.
27. Did you go to the same school?
Nope
28. Are you from the same home town?
Nope
29. Who is smarter?
Depends on the subject. Math/Communication/Etc. = Me. Computers/History/Etc. = Him. Physical science makes my eyes clothes although he got a lower grade. I'm better at grammar, he's better at content. We're like yin and yang.
30. Who is more sensitive?
Both of us. He would say me. But it depends on the day who is more sensitive.
31. Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Chick fil a?
32. Where is the farthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Honduras
33. Who has the craziest exes?
Well he has one that's pretty bad, and most crazies from my past I didn't actually date... so you decide.
34. Who has the worse temper?
Him actually. Although hit the right button and I could take him. LOL
35. Who does the cooking?
Me.
36. Who is more social?
Me. Which is weird, because I"m the introvert.
37. Who is the neat-freak?
We don't know that term.
38. Who is more stubborn?
Him. No contest.
39. Who hogs the bed?
Him. And he shh's me if I try and remedy the situation.
40. Who wakes up earlier?
Me.
41. Where was your first date?
Started at Dairy Queen. Ended at a park. Shakey's in between.
42. Who had more boyfriends/girlfriends?
Me fo sho.
43. Do you get flowers often?
Not anymore. But I'm not bent out of shape about it. They cost money.
44. How do you spend the holidays?
Opening presents and eating.
45. Who is more jealous?
Neither. We both have a weird spot for jealously, but its pretty much a non issue.
46. How long did it take to get serious?
About a month. I'm either in or I'm out. I don't take much time to test the waters.
47. Who eats more?
He does.
48. Who does the laundry
Me, although he will help if I ask.
49. Who’s better with the computer?
I touch a computer and it breaks. He spends a lot of time trying to keep that from happening.
50. Leave a piece of advice for the other couples.
Treat your spouse better than you would treat yourself. Laziness can make the other person feel very unimportant and the simplest things can really add up. Build each other up and constantly put their needs above your own. If you both do that, you will be forever happy.
I stole this from Ashley... who stole it from Kaitlyn... who very likely didn't make it up herself...
1. When is your “engagement” anniversary:
June 11, 2005
2. When is your “marriage” anniversary:
June 24
3. How long have you known your spouse:
8 years
4. How long did you date/court before you were engaged:
Approximately 3 years
5. Where did you meet your spouse for the first time?
He was a mentor in State Hall. I lived there. We talked in the lobby.
6. What is your spouse’s full name:
Justin Turner... his mom doesn't believe in middle names... lol j/k
7. Do you have any children:
The most precious one ever!
8. How many – boys/girls:
1 big boy
9. Do you have any house pets:
Probably... but not on purpose LOL There is a cricket that I refuse to squish because I hate that sound and I never see it when Justin is around. Then there is a teeny tiny spider that, while I don't like spiders, he doesn't seem to be harming anyone, he just wants to be left in his corner. The cricket's name is Juanita. The spider's name is Hugh.
10. Do you own a house or rent:
Neither... its complicated.
11. Do you live in the country or town/city:
City
12. What is one of your favorite activities together:
Lately... Scrabble. But we also like the zoo.
13. Do you have a favorite vacation spot:
He has one... Washington DC. I have one... almost anywhere else. LOL
14. When did you first kiss?
I know it was in my dorm room. Maybe a few weeks in? I dunno.
15. What church do you attend?
A cute little Methodist one. They are so nice. And do a lot for the community.
16. Is this the church you were married in:
We went the heathen route and got married in a conference center.
17. What town is your current address at:
The big Arkansas city.. you know...
18. Do you work or stay at home:
Kind of both... but mostly work.
19. Where did you go on your honeymoon:
Cancun
20. What was the funniest gift you gave when dating?
A mechanical singing hamster in a hamster cage. I'll leave you to ponder that.
21. How long have you been together?
8 years.
22. How long did you know each other before you started dating?
About a month.
23. Who asked who out?
I did. He drug his feet. But the story is a whole other blog post. That I may have already done.
24. How old are each of you?
27 and 26
25. Where do each of you go to school?
Neither of us "go to school" any more. But we both did and still do for jobs.
26. Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?
Honestly... small stuff... like just getting on each other's nerves. We don't really fight about anything big.
27. Did you go to the same school?
Nope
28. Are you from the same home town?
Nope
29. Who is smarter?
Depends on the subject. Math/Communication/Etc. = Me. Computers/History/Etc. = Him. Physical science makes my eyes clothes although he got a lower grade. I'm better at grammar, he's better at content. We're like yin and yang.
30. Who is more sensitive?
Both of us. He would say me. But it depends on the day who is more sensitive.
31. Where do you eat out most as a couple?
Chick fil a?
32. Where is the farthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Honduras
33. Who has the craziest exes?
Well he has one that's pretty bad, and most crazies from my past I didn't actually date... so you decide.
34. Who has the worse temper?
Him actually. Although hit the right button and I could take him. LOL
35. Who does the cooking?
Me.
36. Who is more social?
Me. Which is weird, because I"m the introvert.
37. Who is the neat-freak?
We don't know that term.
38. Who is more stubborn?
Him. No contest.
39. Who hogs the bed?
Him. And he shh's me if I try and remedy the situation.
40. Who wakes up earlier?
Me.
41. Where was your first date?
Started at Dairy Queen. Ended at a park. Shakey's in between.
42. Who had more boyfriends/girlfriends?
Me fo sho.
43. Do you get flowers often?
Not anymore. But I'm not bent out of shape about it. They cost money.
44. How do you spend the holidays?
Opening presents and eating.
45. Who is more jealous?
Neither. We both have a weird spot for jealously, but its pretty much a non issue.
46. How long did it take to get serious?
About a month. I'm either in or I'm out. I don't take much time to test the waters.
47. Who eats more?
He does.
48. Who does the laundry
Me, although he will help if I ask.
49. Who’s better with the computer?
I touch a computer and it breaks. He spends a lot of time trying to keep that from happening.
50. Leave a piece of advice for the other couples.
Treat your spouse better than you would treat yourself. Laziness can make the other person feel very unimportant and the simplest things can really add up. Build each other up and constantly put their needs above your own. If you both do that, you will be forever happy.
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