Track the Tank Lands in Arkansas!

That's right it did!

I've been looking forward to this for quite. some. time.

Turns out when a tank top is roaming around the country... it takes some time. Go figure.








Now I'm supposed to say what motivates me...

This seems like a loaded question. Am I supposed to say something about fitness? Life? Requote Maya Angelou?

Also, I have the ADDs and get all flustered. So here are my thoughts, take it or leave it.

1) Bitches get stuff done.

I swear I'm getting this tattooed on me somewhere.

But the fact of the matter is, if you want something, then work for it and get it. Period.

Excuses are like assholes and I don't want to touch them.

Whining is for sissies.

Make a plan. What are your goals? When you have your goals, start working toward them. Set an action plan. Then do it.

It is simple, yes. For some overly simple, but that's just how I see it. If I have goals that I haven't achieved, I'm the problem.

2) This kid.

This kid would. not. smile. So I mocked him. #mommywin

A few years ago I was told at the ripe, bold age of 28 that I had high cholesterol.

Well shit.

And I was told that I'd have to take medicine for it.

Bull shit.

So I took my doctor's challenge of cutting out carbs (mainly processed carbs but limiting everything) and bam! It worked. 

Let me break it down for you non-believers: 

I call it the reverse-racism diet. 

No whites. 

• flour
• sugar
• rice
• potatos

That's it. 

Eat all the meat you can stand. No really. 

Bring on the cheese. Bring on the eggs and meat. Load up the veggies. 

Limit the fruit. 

I dropped 20 lbs something quick (from around 150lbs to 130lbs) and I've kept it off. And my cholesterol dropped 50 pts ya'll! 

My kid deserves to have his momma around for as long as I can make it. I don't want him to find me in heart-attack mode because I didn't have the self-control to put down the chocolate covered donut. 

Final thoughts: 

Everyone was so serious with their quotes on the shirt. So I wrote "err'body love some side boob."

Because, really, they do. :-) 

And yes I still use my super cool treadmill to stay awake while reading for class.

Promote the Love Link-Up: Aunt B's Dirty Little Secret

My girl, Tia and Hands On Pants Off, shows her awesomeness once again by starting this wicked cool link-up to promote the love and drown out the hate for bloggers.

The blogging world can be amaze-balls once minute and then full of hatred the next. (If you want proof just look at my "Rearing Children" post)

This was great timing for me since I had the opportunity to help my sister create a blog a few weeks ago!

Her name is Brandi, and even though we are polar opposites on EVERYTHING except the Braves, she has found a passion and I'm all for her pursuing it!

Turns out her passion was ignited by Christian Grey (ew! hatred! demon!). But we all have to be doing something right?

She read 50 Shades of Grey and began to love reading.

And now she keeps herself up late at night reading copious amounts of mommy porn.

What's in it for you?

Well if you also love mommy porn (or reading in general), her blog is a constant book review. It is mainly for women and mainly about romances and love stories, but it isn't just that and to be honest, she is pretty damn good.

Go check out Aunt B's Dirty Little Secret and give her a follow. Recommend books for her to review and comment on the books she has read as well.

Help me tell the world about Aunt B's Dirty Little Secret... pretty soon, it shouldn't be much of a secret!

My Son's Alter Ego is Donkey

I don't get to blog often. I realize that. And I'm doing it today against my better judgment as I have lots of homework and a ten page paper to write. 

However, I just returned from Walmart with my son for a "quick" trip. 

He didn't shut up the whole time. Not once. 

Not even once!

Want proof?

Here is a list of stuff that "is what he always wanted": 

Spongebob Bandaids
A Lady Chic Razor
Two Spiderman Web Shooters
3 Bicycles (one was unsuitable b/c the training wheels weren't "real")
Watermelon Juice
Perry the Platypus Hot Chocolate
Nesquick Crazy Straw Glasses
Go-Gurt (the kind with milk in it that he can't eat)
The Cereal with a Toy in It (who knows which one)
A Mario Kart T-Shirt

That's what I can remember. 

List of songs he sang randomly but certainly with an audience: 

Shake It Off - Taylor Swift
Girl in a Country Song - Maddie and Tae
Sexy and I Know It - LMFAO
Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke

Total number of people that giggled as we passed them by: 

8

Total number of people who patted me on the back while giggling:

2

Total number of people who commented on his "vibrant personality": 

3

Total number of people who took me up on my offer to take him home: 

0

I can feel it. You still don't grasp how chattery he was. Here is video proof: 



Wait there is more! 

I took a note out of my sister's book and gave him something to hold between his lips. If he didn't let it fall (i.e. shut the hell up), he would get a piece of candy when we got home. 

What did he do? 

He hummed. He mother-puppy hummed. 

So. Much. Noise. 

That's how I concluded his alter ego is Donkey. 

Not because he is an ass (he is though). Remember this clip? (start at 1:05)



Bless my heart. 

See funny things like this and more by following me on Instagram and Twitter (@rikkidale on both). I don't get to blog nearly as much as I used too, but those take very little time :-)