Seriously?
I found myself in a situation last night where I needed something for dinner. I was in the middle of Target (one of the super cool Target's with a full grocery section... it takes so little to impress me) and due to my new
I went to the vegetable section, hoping to find one of those little trays with fruit slices and cheese chunks. Or carrot slices and something. Just something I could buy where I could eat all of it (I refuse to pay for an overpriced Lunchable just to not be able to eat the damn crackers, you know?).
Once I selected my sad excuse for a dinner, I noticed I needed something to wash it down with. And that's when I saw it... the blessed coconut water.
I say "blessed" because to hear people talk about this stuff, it must be mixed with the tears of Jesus.
I took a drink of it.
Why?! What the hell is that stuff!?
You know how sometimes you buy yourself a gallon of milk because you are going to be good this time and drink the whole thing? And then you leave it in your fridge for, let's just say a while? And it separates? The curds on the bottom, the whey on the top.
That's what coconut water is. It has to be.
Coconuts are probably delightful little fruits. Then they sit out in the sun and separate. Some drunk fool thought, "That water stuff from the inside of this coconut would taste real nice."
Never trust a drunk. This stuff is gross.
Let's be straight. I like coconuts just fine. I like water just fine.
To mix the two is unacceptable.
Another analogy?
I like peanut butter. I like catfish.
I would never mix the two.
Now who is going to try coconut water next time you are out? You know who you are. I give this vivid description of the nastiness that it is and you think, "It can't be that bad. I'm going to try it."
Go for it, glutton for punishment.
I thought the same thing the first time I had a drink of it...the taste grew on me and I drank the whole thing. Of course, the one I had was flavored with a splash of mango flavor!
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