Sam drove Momma to the sauce

Disclaimer: blogging from the phone because I can't make myself tear Justin away from his incredibly boring looking game on the laptop.

So today, the air conditioning went out on my car. With humidity and the sweater blouse I wore to work today, that made my body an approximate temperature of 475•. So the drive home on the interstate with the other people eager to leave the city was already going to be awesome.

Then my son decided that yelling, "Momma! Mom! Ah! MoooooommmmmAAAAH!!!" would be most super fun. All the way home. In a sweat box designed for getting state secrets out of very well trained spies.

So when I got home, I was frazzled. Justin was nice enough to take Sam outside and play ladder ball while I cooked so I could destress.

Until...

(my interpretation of sam's wailing)

"momma I will die right now if I don't get raisins! Raisins are the fruit of life and you hate me because you refuse to give me them before dinner!!!"

"momma how dare you put salad on my plate?!?!? I will surely die from the rotten ass this will surely give me from being in my vicinity!"

"mom, you ungrateful slut! How dare you eat your dinner when i clearly need my third cup of juice in the last ten minutes! Surely you can tell I'm dehydrated!!!"

Ughhhhhhh....

After we settled the great juice saga of 2012, we agreed to read books. And that was for realsies super fun. He finds "goodnight gorilla" hilarious which I then find hilarious.

Where is the true hilarity of the night you ask? When my son was pretending to cook on the big stove and I encouraged him to play on his stove. He goes over to the stove and says, "oh!"

To what? He remembered that no less than last Saturday he stashed away two Pringles chips in a bowl in his oven!

He opened it up, grinned with glee, grabbed the chips from the bowl, exclaims, "my chips!" and promptly shoves them in his mouth and runs away! He was soooo proud of himself. And I was bewildered, intrigued, and frankly, impressed.

So when he went to bed, I hit the sauce.

The chocolate sauce. I needed chocolate milk. And it needed me.