Momma's Got a Dude's Name

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Thankful for Belly Laughs: Day 6

I've said it before and I'll say it again...

Laughing is my favorite!

Hopefully I can give you a belly laugh or two today. Enjoy some of my favorite funnies on the interwebs...

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

WTF Memories on Day 5

Day 5 of 30 Days of Thankful is dedicated to Memories.

How are you supposed to narrow that down?!

I have so many great memories...

Like when I sprayed my sister in the eyes with Windex and had to miss church...

Or when I hit a game winning grand slam in overtime at the District tournament for softball and we won the whole dang thing...

Or when I tricked my now brother in law into thinking he kept dialing the wrong number by acting like the AT&T lady...

Or the 14,000 times I've given my dad's phone number to guys asking for my number (this is especially fun because his name is Ricky)...

But I've decided to go with one of my husband's favorite stories from my childhood.

He gets a kick out of my childhood stories because he grew up in the city and was fairly protected, whereas I grew up in the country (deep country) and am familiar with a good old fashioned country ass whoopin'.

The only thing missing from this story is the city, bless our hearts.

We grew up on a boulder-like dirt road and our driveway was gravel. We never mowed because there wasn't grass to mow really (the rocks kept what grass we did have fairly protected). We also burned our trash.

My mom and my aunt would watch us and my cousins together quite frequently, which most of the time meant we were told to go play outside. With no neighbors or traffic, we had some pretty good free reign to do as we pleased. They also drank Zimas from time to time, which are in glass bottles.

I don't think any of us (cousins and sister) were over 7 years old when this occurred, but one of us found the stash of glass bottles waiting to be taken to the dump (on our land).

And to a bunch of young children, the sound of breaking glass on the gravel was hilarious. And man were we tickled!

I don't know how many bottles we broke in the gravel driveway before they heard and came to investigate, but by the looks on their faces and the steam coming from their ears, it must have been a lot.

My mom ripped me and my sister up and started beating our tails all the way in the house. When she finally stopped spanking us, my aunt says, "Get them too!" Referring to her two kids. I believe that was the first time my mom had spanked them but she didn't miss a beat and started tearing into them too.

Once safely inside, I distinctly remember at least 3 out of 4 of us busting a gut laughing (sorry Ma). Spankings weren't unusual in our world and our fathers were much more adept at it. As much as it hurts my little feminist heart to say, mom's spankings didn't hurt and I'm fairly sure Ashley was just tickled that my mom had just spanked her.

And we honestly didn't realize what we were in trouble for! The sound was so cool! Tires be damned... Safety be damned... it was like our own little science experiment.

I think back on it now and laugh because there is no telling how long or even how they got all that glass cleaned up. I don't remember any flat tires but my mom reads this blog so maybe she can clarify things from her side.

This may not be a memory my mom or aunt is very thankful for, but I sure am. That country upbringing made me who I am today. And at least now I know that it isn't okay to bust glass bottles in the driveway.

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

Thankful for my Friends: Day 4

If I truly consider you a "friend" you are in an elite bunch.

That is not a testament to my elite status but to yours. I have no trouble cutting people out of my life if they haven't earned the spot in it. I don't have time for "fake" or "selfish".

I am thankful to call quite a few people true friends. I won't call them out by name, but you know who you are.

I can be my true self with you... crazy, irrational, vulnerable.

We laugh. A lot.

We don't take life too seriously.

If one of us every needs anything, it isn't even a question. It is a "how can I help" or sometimes even a, "bitch you will take my help regardless of how you feel about it."

These types of friendships are two-way.

You see, there are several more people I can add to the list that I would give them the shirt off of my back or my last morsel of food if they needed it, but I know I wouldn't get the same in return. That doesn't change my actions towards them. And I don't fault them for it.

But it makes me appreciate those true friends even more. The street runs both ways and we both frequent each side. Blood relation or not, we are family.

To each of you I can truly call my friend, I thank you.

Monday, November 3, 2014

Getting Muh Groove On, Day 3

Music... makes the people... come together... yeahhhhhhh

Madonna is deep, yo.

Music has a way of changing my mood completely. As a self-identified person with heart of stone due to my inability to cry at movies, music has moved me to tears a number of times. Some of my favorites for a good soul-searching are:

Wanted: Hunter Hayes
Man in the Mirror: Michael Jackson
Jesus Take the Wheel: Carrie Underwood
Independence Day: Martina McBride
Where Were You When the World Stopped Turning: Alan Jackson
Proud to be an American: Lee Greenwood
Blown Away: Carrie Underwood

I can't say exactly why each of these bring me to tears but they do. I connect with the emotions of others and highly emotional songs bring that out.

But also, I can rely on music to bring me into a good mood or even fuel the fire for an already good mood.

When I wake up in the morning, I love Pitbull radio on Pandora. I dance like a moron while drying my hair and putting on make up. And before you make fun of me, answer me this... Who has more songs to Zumba routines than Pitbull?

Check. Mate.

Music also makes me laugh...

Let Me Ride that Donkey?
Poison?
You Can't Rollerskate in a Buffalo Herd?
Dick in a Box?

That shit is funny.

Also, if I'm in an ass-kicking mood... Miranda Lambert fuels the fire.

Gunpowder and Lead
Momma's Broken Heart
Fastest Girl in Town
Kerosene
Only Prettier
Somethin' Bad

Nothing like badass music to make me feel like a badass.

What music are you thankful for?

Sunday, November 2, 2014

30 Days of Thankfulness: November and Unanswered Prayers

Today I begin the 30 Days of Thankful link-up with the beautiful Crystal Michelle Mess.

Day 1's topic is "November."

And let me go ahead and get on my soapbox about November.

November is not my favorite month, but it is up there. I tend to like summer months that are themed around beers around the pool and warm weather. And November tends to be the beginning of cold weather and cold makes me cranky.

However, November gets in my top 4 months because the theme is thankfulness.

Here is my shout out to the haters that say, "We should be thankful year-round."

These are the same people who say, "I don't need a certain date of the year to dictate when I'm going to try to make myself a better person."

Sure. You're right. But we aren't typically thankful year-round and this is a month focused on thanks. Just like we should be interested in Black History year-round, as it turns out, we aren't and February is a great time to learn because we are surrounded by it.

So shut up and be thankful. :-) Or just shut up and let the rest of us.

Basically the reason I love November is simple: Thankfulness.

No matter what we are going through, we have a lot to be thankful for. Even if the world is crashing down around you, we still have toilet paper, right? We live in a world where deoderant is prevalent, don't we? Anybody want to send a shout out to lice shampoo?!

Think about it. What oddities are you super thankful for? Here are a few of mine:

Funny bandaids
Sarcasm
Email
Online banking
Bacon
Easy access to bacon
Benadryl
Mirena
Electric dryers
Memory foam
Bras!

I could go on and on. Thank you, November, for making me think about the things I should be thankful for!

Day 2: Un-answered Prayers

This one is tough for me because I don't remember many prayers that have gone unanswered. I've never been a pray-er for specific things. I tend to pray for understanding, peace, and "God's will be done."

I think a big reason for this outlook on my part is that I don't subscribe to the prevalent Christian thought that God is in control of everything, including bringing people to cancer and death.

Do I understand why Justin has lost both of his parents to cancer and he is just 31?

No. Absolutely not.

Do I believe God did that to them?

No. Absolutely not.

So my prayers tend to be, "Make the best of this situation. Prepare our hearts to use this for your glory. Provide a way for this situation to show love to other people who need it."

Going back to the issue of Justin's mother. She had three rounds of cancer and it finally took her at the age of 60.

That was not of God. And you won't convince me that it was.

But do you know what was God?

The awareness that came from it. Several people donated the gift of life by registering to be Bone Marrow Donors on behalf of her. People put themselves aside and took time out to show her love and love for others. She started a movement. That was powerful and that was an answered prayer.

A good friend of mine was selected as a bone marrow match for someone going through blood cancer. He has answered the call.

That is an answered prayer.

I do believe that God has his timing and it is more wise than my own. I am aware that I want things either now or yesterday and I do not exercise patience like I should. But instead of focusing on unanswered prayers and trying to figure out what they are and how they have blessed me, I tend to focus on the answered ones...

Medicine for my mom that keeps her leukemia in remission...
Other blood cancer patients lives saved because Pat's disease raised awareness for others to become heros...
The fact that I can call so many of my friends heros...

Which prayers of yours are you thankful for? Both answered and unanswered?

Do you want to join the thankfulness movement? Below are the days and the themes for each. Link up with Crystal Michelle and share the thanks!