No, I don't have a water buffalo. Do you?

Things I've Learned from My Son: How to Wake Up in a Good Mood

2012-01-20T09:11:00.000-06:00

Adults are constantly complaining about waking up on the wrong side of the bed... or not getting enough exercise.... or not having enough energy...

Enough is enough! I have found the solution and all it took was a giddy little two year old to show me the way.

When Sam gets up in the morning, he wakes up, stands up, and immediately starts jumping on the bed.

He jumps on the bed and giggles until he is good and ready to stop (normally when I offer him candy if he goes pee pee in the potty.... which is another great idea for adults to adopt!)

So it got me thinking... what a wonderful way to start the day! If adults would just wake up in the morning, shut the alarm off, then promptly start jumping on the bed... we'd all be in a much better mood going to work. Almost nothing can go wrong when you've started your day jumping on the bed.

Admittedly, this is a picture of me several years ago jumping on the bed... but you get the picture.

So I challenge you, tomorrow, when you wake up, start your day with a few jumps on the bed. I did... and I feel great! Justin is pretty irritated though. I wanted him to join but he seemed pretty intent on screaming and looking confused.*

*Okay that didn't happen. But it would have had I decided to jump on the bed this morning. Justin is pretty opinionated and violent in regards to sleepy time.

Secretly Filmed for a Fat Commercial and Allergy Testing in One Day

2012-01-18T12:13:00.000-06:00

The first story has NOTHING to do with the second except it was a ~~prophetic~~ splendid way to start the day.

Let me set the scene for you. Remember this commercial?

Yeah... that one. I'm pretty sure I'll be on the next installment.

I got up yesterday morning and got dressed. This included putting on a belt.

In my defense, I put on a belt that is at least 9 years old and I have only used two notches the entire time of me owning the belt. But I digress.

Sam and I go get lunch at Burger King yesterday because that is one place where he can eat both the chicken nuggets and fries. Party in the king's palace. Rah freaking rah.

So I order, pay, and then wait for our food. As soon as the lady hands me my sack of food, I hear a *POP* and suddenly my pants are much looser than they were previously.

Well sonofamountaingoat... that's unfortunate.

After sitting down, I did some investigating and MY BELT HAS RIPPED IN HALF.

In... half. It has not come apart at the buckle... the belt has RIPPED in HALF!

WATCH OUT! IMMA GONNA EAT CHA!

I've never felt prettier in my life. And I know, I know, the belt was worn... blah blah blah... but there is a little something to be said for it ripping in half as the ~~scared lady~~ nice lady hands me my fresh bag of whale blubber and badonkadonk butt.

On to the allergy testing portion of the day...

According to this test, he isn't allergic to anything but mold and dust.

Bull butter.

And then I found out the first round of testing didn't even include almonds or bananas. So... what am I here for?!

So she redoes the test to include dairy (again), almonds, and bananas.

All negative. This must be a test in self control.

So I start to ask my questions...

1) So he can have dairy, almonds, and bananas?

Answer: No. He is obviously having a reaction to them.

2) So what is the difference in that reaction versus the allergies you tested for?

Answer: He just has an intolerance to those things.

3) So what is the difference between an allergy and an intolerance?

Answer: To you there isn’t. To us there is. He isn’t having a reaction to our test but he is having a reaction to the actual food. This means he will likely grow out of it, but it isn’t an allergy.

Well I’m obviously not going to get anywhere with her. She offered a blood test referral but at this point I don’t know what that is going to do. And she is certainly not the woman with answers.

So after we left and I vented my frustrations to the lovely Susan Mack, I promptly went to Chenal Family Practice (seriously THE BEST family practice/allergy clinic EVER). My girls in the allergy clinic (Amber and Robin… for reals they are awesome) took a look at the results and they were very polite, but basically said that they are not favorable to that type of testing for a reason and that they understood my frustration. They also buttered Sam up pretty well with some gummies and jell-o… but that’s just more about their awesomeness isn’t it?

Anyway, they asked the doctor there who has lots of experience in the allergy field what he thought and he basically said, there is a reason they don’t do that testing in his clinic… it just isn’t that accurate. Some kids respond very well… others do not and Sam just happens to be a kid that does not. He verified that yes, in fact, there is something wrong with the way Sam reacts to the almonds and the dairy and that he would still continue to avoid those things the way we are now. Even if we did re-test or get a blood test, the results could change 6 months from now and that’s a lot to put a child through. So, in essence, keep doing what your doing and don’t let the bum allergy test get you down. That’s why I love you Dr. K! Keep it real!

So… after allergy testing I’ve learned:

1) Sam is allergic to molds and dusts (who isn’t?)

2) He is not allergic to dairy, banana, or almond. Except that he is. So don’t feed it to him.

3) After a long day of frustrating and pointless testing and my whale blubber busting belts, I can be a little irritable (sorry Justin… luvs ya!)

Muh Baybee Eez TWO!!!

2012-01-05T14:04:00.001-06:00

It is official. He can't stay a baby forever. UGH

I say all of that but I just want the best of both worlds. I love watching him grow up and learn new things and all that jazz... like I live for it. But at the same time, I know I'm going to turn around one day and think, "Where is that kid who used to poop in the floor? Or bite his dad in the danglers?"

At least I have this blog, to publicly record the humiliating (and super funny and adorable) things he does.

So Happy Birthday Sam! Here is a list of stuff you are currently doing that either cracks my stuff up or makes my heart melt into a warm little puddle of awe.

1. I love your singing! You will sing along with me, the radio, you'll make up stuff to sing about. It is so cute!

2. You also dance a lot. It general it involves a "strut" where you drag one leg behind you... kind of to the beat of the music. There is the one I call "backing it up" (my favorite) where you bob and scoot backwards but with your butt aimed at someone. There is the "spread my legs as far as I can and rock back and forth one". This is normally your dance of choice.

3. You also just break out into random "walks" sometimes. Like, suddenly, out of nowhere, you just start "creeping up on" someone, with your hands set deviously in front of you. You also try to walk like a thug sometimes too, with one shoulder dropped like you'll bust a cap if I don't get you your "chokit milk" to you pronto!

4. Dear heavens you talk a lot. And words I didn't know you knew! And some that I really wish you didn't know but can't blame you for knowing because they came out of my potty mouth to begin with. But you are all the time coming up to me telling me Skipper pee peed in the house and needs to go to his kennel. It goes something like this:

Sam: "Kipper pee pee."
Me: "Skipper pee peed?"
Sam: nods head "Pee pee house."
Me: "He pee peed in the house?"
Sam: "Bad! Chennel!" And then starts swatting at the dog or dragging him by his collar. Poor dog. He had no idea this would be his "rescue."

5. You call people on the phone. Ok not people. You call grandma on the phone. Always grandma.

6. You put everything in time out. You try to put momma and daddy in the corner. But things I've found in "time out" (or have been delayed for because they were in time out and weren't finished): toys, cups, stuffed animals, and shoes. All facing the wall. All getting yelled at by Sam.

7. You refer to yourself in the third person A LOT. "Tickle Sam?" "Sam eat." "Sam play outside."

8. Your favorite gross little boy thing to talk about is boogers. You'll stick your finger up your nose, giggle, and say "Sam boogers!" Or in your ear and say, "Ear boogers!" If we want you to smile for a picture, we say, "Grandma has boogers!" Grandma loves that.

9. Over this Christmas break, you got accustomed to taking naps with momma. You would lay on "daddy's piyyow" and I'd lay on mine. Friends would be playing on the tv. You'd watch and lay really still. You'd ask for my hand so we could hold hands and fall asleep. Please stay this sweet forever.?! Please.

10. You are getting phrases down well! My favorite is at night time, we say, "Night night, Sam." And you say, "Nigh nigh momma" or "nigh nigh daddy". We will then say, "I love you much!" and you'll say, "Yub you much". You also ask every night for your "pretty light" to be turned on (a light your daddy bought you on a conference in Minnesota. It is a fiber optic thing and it is blue.). Every night before we pray, I ask you what you want to pray about. You normally say, "Jesus" or "puppy" or "Susu" or "grandma" or "momma" or "daddy" or "lights" or "candy." Sometimes any combination. I love it though. And we always pray for whatever you want to, then what momma wants to (for good measure).

11. You currently think that if we turn into a McDonalds/gas station combo, we must be getting chicken. Because this is what I hear from the back seat, "YAY! CHICKEN! YAY!" This is proof that you remember things that you really want to because this may have happened twice in your entire life time. Every other time I've pulled into one of these things, it is for gas. Stinker.

Words cannot express our love you. Even when you are yelling your distaste at us for putting you in time out (and subsequently trying to scoot out of time out) (this drives me absolutely bonkers by the way), we are still just crazily overwhelmed with our love for you. You are so smart and funny and constantly doing new things to amaze us.

Here's to another year of "What did he just say?" and "No Sam! Stop ___________!" We love you!

*Edit to add other things awesome that I omitted from the first.

12. When it is time to go to bed, I'll say, "Ok Sam, tell daddy night night." Then he'll say, "No! Rock!" He loves to rock... especially if it means he doesn't have to go to bed.

13. He has to take one shoe off in the car. Has too. I'm not sure why. If he doesn't feel like he's getting adequate attention in the back seat, he'll throw that shoe at you in the front seat. People think I'm crazy, but this kid has an ARM and an AIM! **crosses finger and chants "baseball! baseball!"**

Overdue Update on Sam Through Pictures and Captions

2011-12-12T09:33:00.000-06:00

Why don't YOU have noodles on your head?!

This is my dog Skipper. We are best friends.

See. He agrees.

We love each other.

He loves me more than oxygen.

Mom won't buy me a pony. Skipper is the sub.

Chubbiest. Tigger. Ever.

He had just said that Grandma has boogers. He is so funny.

He insisted Tigger needed his reindeer hat.

All is well with the world now. Also, daddy has boogers.

Ok, this one deserves more explanation than a caption. Sam is pressing the Elvis guitar ornament that sings "Santa Bring my Baby Back to Me." Sam hits this approximately 479 times a day. Then he dances around like an idiot until just before the song ends. When he hears the song about to end, he runs over and presses it again so there is never ending Elvis Christmas music in my house. It's a good thing he's cute and whiskey is expensive.

Political Post Riddled with Sarcasm and Anger

2011-12-08T10:01:00.000-06:00

Although, I don't need to post any of that because I feel like this ad speaks for itself:

Oh. My. Gosh. Really?

I know that there are people out there that believe gays are going to hell and all that jazz. That's not really my point here.

But, Rick, it was 1962 when the ban on prayer came into play. That was not Obama's doing. I know in Texas it isn't appropriate to learn what actually happened in history, but c'mon! You were actually in school when prayer was banned!

But I guess we don't need to be reminded of "crap Perry doesn't get" do we? Oh no, we do. (start at 1:35)

Back to the original video:

War on religion?! A good heaven's. If anything, Obama is the closest president we have ever had to expressing the love of Christ and not touting his own biases, prejudices, or just simple discomforts as a reason to spread hate in the name of Jesus.

How dare you imply that Obama has somehow defamed our religion...

You don't like his policies? Fine. Attack them.

You don't like his way of creating jobs? Fine. Attack that.

But to just slander him for no other reason than to win a stinking campaign while dragging your precious Savior through the mud... that is just tacky.

And I am just sick and tired of this, "Our kids can't openly celebrate Christmas." Horse shit. They can too. It is what your FOREFATHERS that you speak of so fondly called religious freedom.

Happy Holidays is not an attack on Christmas or Christianity. It is an expression to spread holiday cheer. Some feel like holiday cheer reminds them of being loved.

Wait? What's that? Christ IS love... I don't see the problem.

And even if there was a problem, how did everyone pin "happy holidays" on Obama?! That is absurd! He says Merry Christmas. He also says Happy Holidays. It is a diverse vocabulary, I know.

And while I'm on it, for all of you who believe that Obama has named the Christmas trees in the White House "Holiday Trees"...that is a completely untrue statement. They are Christmas trees. They even have ornaments on them that have little baby Jesus on them?! If you want to research what president was closest to doing such a thing, that would be Captain Christian George Bush. Look it up.

What? A Muslim with baby Jesus on his tree? He must be the Anti-Christ!

Oh wait... he's Methodist. And not even close to the anti-christ.

War on religion?! Ricky Perry seriously disgusts me.

Am I liberal? Yes. Do I believe in equal rights? Yes. Am I a happily married Christian woman? Yes.

Again... if you want to fight him on his policies or agenda... go for it. But please stop dragging my precious Jesus's name through the mud for your campaign. It is disgusting.

And note: On your campaign page on youtube, on your ad, you have about 3,500 likes and over 160,000 dislikes. Take a hint. Jesus doesn't hate.

Lessons from a Dairy Free Virgin: Fast Food Unwrapped

2011-11-15T15:24:00.000-06:00

If you adore fast food and worship its crispy fried goodness...skip this and continue to live in blissful ignorance.

But if you can't do that anymore due to your child's ~~irritating~~ fun new allergy... read on! Oh the things you will learn!

Surprise ingredient lists from your favorites:

Chick fil a Chicken Nuggets:
100% natural whole breast filet, seasoning (salt, monosodium glutamate, sugar, spices, paprika), seasoned coater (enriched bleached flour [bleached wheat flour, malted barley flour, niacin, iron, thiamine mononitrate, riboflavin, folic acid], sugar, salt, monosodium glutamate, nonfat milk, leavening [baking soda, sodium aluminum phosphate, monocalcium phosphate], spice, soybean oil, color [paprika]), milk wash (water, egg, nonfat milk), peanut oil (fully refined peanut oil with TBHQ and citric acid added to preserve freshness and Dimethylpolysiloxane an anti-foaming agent added).

That's right folks... our beloved "healthy" chicken nuggets... have milk... and ANTI-FOAMING AGENT!

Tell me, WHAT FOAMS ABOUT A CHICKEN?! If my chicken is foaming... I don't want to eat it. You just leave that foaming chicken alone and let it peck itself to death... bleck!

*Don't believe me? Click here.

McDonald's French Fries:
Potatoes, vegetable oil (canola oil, hydrogenated soybean oil, natural beef flavor [wheat and milk derivatives]*, citric acid [preservative], dextrose, sodium acid pyrophosphate (maintain color), and salt. Prepared in vegetable oil (canola oil, corn oil, soybean oil, hydrogenated soybean oil with TBHQ and citric acid to preserve freshness). Dimethylpolysiloxane added as an antifoaming agent.
*(Natural beef flavor contains hydrolyzed wheat and hydrolyzed milk as starting ingredients).

And antifoaming potatoes now?! Again... I'm scared enough of the foaming chickens... now my potatoes are foaming?! Back at my house, we throw away potatoes when they foam...we don't fry them.

Don't believe me? Click here.

Ok so those were the two most startling finds. But, I will share with you my lists of crap that I learned or surprised me. This would have been nice to have handy when we first learned this about my son.

Things I've learned:

Most of the buns in fast food restaurants are fine. Milk doesn't help them last longer so they don't put it in there. Although, Sonic you have to check at each one you go to because they buy their buns local and the ingredients could change.
KFC Original Recipe has milk, Extra Crispy does not.
Sonic Popcorn Chicken and Breaded Chicken Breasts do not have milk, but Breaded Chicken Strips do.

Things that contain milk that shouldn't:

Burger King Original Breaded Chicken Patty (and the dairy is in the patty... not the breading)
BK Tendercrisp Chicken Sandwich (dairy is at least in the breading here)
BK Onion Rings (maybe they should... I just wasn't expecting it)
Almost everything at Chick Fil A (aside from the grilled chicken sandwich, hashbrowns, and fries)
Wendy's Chicken Nuggets
Back Yard Burger Hawaiian Chicken Sandwich (because of the lemon pepper chicken breast)

Things that don't contain milk that surprised me:

BK Chicken Fries
BK Chicken Tenders
BK Dutch Apple Pie
BK Soft Serve Cone (It is ice cream for crying out loud!)
McDonald's Hot Apple Pie
McDonaldland Cookies
Taco Bell Cinnamon Twists
Anything on the Taco Bell Fresco Menu
Sonic Onion Rings

Parting Advice:
I will say, this list is compiled from my own research into the milk allergy on each individual sites allergen information as of today. Ingredients change from time to time, so if this is an issue for you, double check before you eat any of it.

While on my my allergy kick, my son's dairy allergy presented itself as chronic ear infections. We were treating him with Zyrtec for his runny nose and it wasn't helping much at all. After we got tubes and were still having ear infections, we tried the no dairy thing. And I have to say... you HAVE to do it for the full 3 weeks before you notice any difference. Then all of the sudden, you've gone 4 days without a runny nose. And now we are on 2 or 3 weeks now with no runny nose and 6 weeks or so without an ear infection. Also, it has been about 2 or 3 weeks since I've had to put thick creme on his legs for his eczema. It is basically gone now. All because of milk. It is worth the effort to try.

When trying, look out for "casein" and "whey". These are both milk ingredients. Depending on the severity of the allergy it may not be a big deal. I avoided everything for the first 3 weeks, which was hard, but the only way I could know for sure.

His almond allergy presented itself as violent vomiting after having a cup of almond milk. But once he was done throwing up (45 minutes later) he was fine and back to his jolly self. A few days later, he had some Honey Nut Cheerios, which contain almond, and had violent diarrhea for a few hours. Then it cleared up. No rash, no itchy, no redness, ... just vomiting and diarrhea (which makes you think virus... not allergy).

Sam Isn't Normal... And I Think I Like It

2011-11-10T12:07:00.000-06:00

I have not openly shared the following story yet with the whole world. 1) Because it is fairly recent. 2) Because I haven't had time. 3) Because I hadn't really processed it myself until now.

Apparently, my son REFUSES to be normal. Here is a list of what "normal" kids do:

Drink milk
If they can't drink milk, it presents itself fairly obviously
Eat bananas
If they can't for some reason, it probably causes them to itch and have hives
Eat almonds
If they can't for some reason, it probably causes them to itch and have hives

Ear Infections:
Admittedly, my list of "normal" is a bit biased. But my son had his horrible bout with ear infections. We got the tubes, he got more infections (not an increase in frequency but certainly not a decrease). So the doctor says, "Some kids are weird and have a milk allergy that keeps the ear infections coming regardless of the tubes. Take him off of all milk for 3 weeks. After the 3 weeks, see if you notice a difference."

I was more than skeptical about this. He has had milk all of his life. Why on earth would he be allergic? And he hasn't ever had any symptoms... but fine, it is three weeks. Whatever.

After the first couple of weeks... I thought she was crazy. There was no difference. In fact, there may have been an increase in mucous. But we stuck it out. Right around the end of the third week... going into the fourth week... it suddenly occurs to me, "He hasn't had a runny nose in a while."

And this whole 3-4 weeks now... no ear infections. And I just noticed last night... his skin (eczema) is a lot better! Almost non-existant.

~~Sonofabitch!~~ Holy smokes, Batman! The kid was allergic to milk.

Bananas:
When he was still a baby, we noticed he kept breaking out in these tiny red bumps. It was a rash, no doubt, but it wasn't bothering him and it didn't look like hives at all. I mean they were TINY. And they started at his stomach and went out from there.

So we are trying to figure out what on earth would be causing this. I immediately go to laundry detergents. But we were using All Free and Clear. So we went to a double rinse.

No improvement.

I think, maybe it is the fabric softener.

Some improvement... but not much.

Then he got a tummy bug and didn't eat much of anything for several days. And the rash went away. I fed him a banana one morning before taking him to Susan's and it hit me... he's had banana on all those days he had the rash, and he hasn't had any since this virus... lets see if it comes back now.

And boy did it! Rash everywhere. Took him off of bananas... no more rash.

Weird kid!

Almonds:
Admittedly, the jury is still out on this one but I'm pretty much convinced that this is what it is.

Back story: Last week, Thursday to be exact, Sam woke up throwing up right after putting him to bed. He then spent the rest of the night (with a max of a 10-15 minute break here and there) throwing up. Midway through the night, diarrhea sets in. He can't hold anything down. At all. And he is expelling what he does have in him out his rear end. (I'd apologize for over sharing but I'm not sorry).

At about 6 am, he wasn't acting right and I was worried about dehydration so we went to the ER. They stopped the vomiting through magical dissolvable pill. Sam starts drinking like a camel at an oasis. Things are looking up.

At about 1 pm that day, Sam jumps up and is ready to play and be merry. He was cured! He still ate bland and drank lots, but was his happy, jokey, goofy self.

Susan volunteers to watch him the next day so Justin and I can sleep. (He gets to her house and the virus gets me... but that's irrelevant). She calls back to say he is throwing up again. He had just gone over 24 hours without vomiting.

GRRRRRR!

We got the magical pill in him and he stopped throwing up before it got too bad and made a full recovery. Yay! Life continues.

Until yesterday. When our secretary comes into a meeting I'm in and hands me a note. It says,

"Sam is vomiting a lot. Susan is concerned."

SONOFABITCH! Really?!

So now I'm freaking out. No longer is this a "virus" or an aftershock from the virus. This is too damned much.

I talk to Susan and she is scared. She has never seen a kid throw up as much as he was. He couldn't stop.

When I got to her house, he had fallen asleep on her. She was just waiting for him to wake back up to throw up, but he never did. We let him sleep for about 45 minutes or so. When she gave him to me to rock for a while, he woke up.

And immediately starts MAKING FACES AT ME! Sticking his tongue out, laughing, giggling... being is sweet, little charming self.

Now don't get me wrong, my heart is swelling at this point, because when you walk in and your child's skin is see-through and eyes are sunken... all you want to see is them healthy and fast.

But what in the world is going on?! And that is literally all it was. He drank some tea and kept that down. Wanted some food. Ate it and kept it down. Ran around and played... like nothing ever happened.

How can this be? This was obviously, now more than ever, not a virus. But what was it?

I talked to the nurse, and she said it sounded like an allergy.

Insert blank, sarcastic, "you have got to be kidding me" look here.

She said, it is not uncommon for a kid to develop an allergy to something after having it for a few weeks. Well... due to the aforementioned milk allergy, he had started almond milk a few weeks ago. Then he got the virus that cleared his system... so he probably developed an almond allergy.

And while "normal" kids would break out in hives or have difficulty breathing, some kids just throw it up until it is gone.

What did he have that morning? Almond milk and honey nut cheerios. I think we found the culprit!

So while this is just a hypothesis... I'm pretty sure that's what we are dealing with. Blasted.

Back to the title:

I know everyone wants to think their kid is special and smart and blah blah blah... and I may just be one of those, but it is my blog and I can write what I want.

But even in his everyday living... he is obviously different. And a good kind of different.

He is so smart. He picks up on things abnormally fast.
He is funny. He is already a little jokester and he isn't even 2.
Since the day he started daycare, (at a ripe bold 8 weeks old), he declared himself "special" by refusing to sleep on anything other than the couch.
He is still "special" there. He was out talking all of the kids at 18 months old...and was the youngest.
He started potty training himself. Against my will, mind you.
And dang it, now he is special because he is going to treat allergies like he treats everything else... with his own special little twist.

I cannot wait to see what the little boy becomes. I just feel it in every part of me that I'm going to be baffled by what he becomes, who he impacts, and what lives he changes.

He may not be famous or world-renowned... but he is going to be special. No doubt about it.

The Day I Could Have Been Shot and Lost a Husband

2011-10-26T12:15:00.000-05:00

Now that I have your attention ;-)

Seriously, this morning was unexpected, exciting, and no one was hurt and no damage was done... so don't read this looking for that. This is more of a story about what did happen that is crazy and what could have happened that makes me a little nervous but mostly thankful for my Jesus and His protection!

I was in the bathroom around 6 am this morning getting ready when I heard something very loud... sounded like metal crunching/sliding together... snapping... just lots of noise. And I thought... "Geez that's loud! ... I guess the trash came early." Then I thought I'd better go check.

I was almost to the door when something told me not to go see. It was more of a "it was the trash truck, why check?" So I didn't. I finished my morning routine.

I went to take the dog outside and I open to door to ... BLUE LIGHTS! EVERYWHERE!

This is interesting... There are two cop cars, some men around looking a the van in the neighbor's yard.

This van had been driving on our road and missing the curve in the road and ramped into her yard. The only thing stopping this car from being IN MY BEDROOM is the little tree that is now snapped in half. I can see both air bags are deployed and the front end of the car is kind of bent into the tires.

Wow! That was exciting.

I could see that the wrecker was having a hard time determining a way to get the van out so I went over to the officer to offer them our yard if they needed. They said they were afraid of tearing up the yard and they thought they could get it.

I was about to leave and the officer said, "Good job at locking your cars up."

I said, "I'm sorry, what?"

He said, "They were going to steal one of your cars to get away."

I was like... WHOA!

Whoever wrecked the van fled! Came across my yard to check and see if my cars were available. When mine weren't, they continued to run.

So yeah... that was my morning!

Two things I'm super thankful for:

1) That freaking tree. Seriously. I wouldn't have my husband and Sam wouldn't have a daddy had it not been for that tree. The van was all of 5 or 6 feet from our house. It was aimed right at our bedroom. The officer said the van would have been in the house had it not caught the tree first. There were no brake marks. And they were going fast enough to ramp up over the curb and end up that far into her yard. This is the scariest part of this whole deal.

2) That voice in my head that stopped me from going outside. I would have walked out right when they were attempting to steal my car. Since the current theory is that they people were either drunk, illegal, or had warrants or any mixture of the three... there is no telling what would have happened. Especially since we all know that if I would have seen that I would have yelled at them and possibly went after them (on foot for a bit) because I'm that stupid when immediately greeted with a situation like this. They would have had the gun or weapon or whatever already drawn on me before I would have realized to shut my mouth and let them go about their business. Sooo...

Guardian angels are real. I'm so thankful for God's grace today.

My Son Is Going Dairy Free... Apparently

2011-10-13T16:59:00.000-05:00

Today has been marginally crappy. I don't want to say shitty or even worse "the worst day ever." It has just been marginally crappy. Here is why.

It seems like every mother goes through this at one time or the other. For me, it seems like EVERY FREAKING TIME I DEAL WITH A DOCTOR!*....

That being said, I really love Sam's team of doctors. That's right team. My perfectly healthy son has a team of doctors. That makes me ~~marginally~~ extremely pissy. But I do really love them. And the ones I didn't love, I yelled at over the phone and never went to see anyway. Because that's how I roll. Don't mess with momma and damn sure don't mess with her baby...but I digress...

The crap I'm referring to. Sam gets ear infections. All. The. Time. All of the time. This was a frequent occurrence and if you are reading this, you most likely read about my insecurities with tubes. But... we put the tubes in because "then he won't get any more ear infections!" and "they are the best things ever! life changing!"

Well they changed my life alright... that bill was life changing. Then a week after getting tubes, he gets a BITCHIN'** ear infection. You want to know how I know it was "bitchin" and not "irritable" or even "pmsing"... My son turned into a TURD! He had no fever... none. He didn't really even pull at his ears. But did he make me want to sell him to the circus? Damn close.

He tormented kids at daycare... he yelled at me... he threw fits... he wore his feelings on his sleeve... he got really clingy... What does this mean for the doctors? Nothing. Other than my child is acting bad. Or he may have a "cold" and not feel well which makes him crabby. It wasn't until he started leaking GREEN GLOBBY BOOGERS from his EARS that it was like... oh yeah... ear infection...

So we do the insanely expensive ear drops ($70 with insurance) and all is well in the world. He heals... we are told it is a fluke that he got a cold right after the tubes were put in... probably won't happen again.

Horse shit.

He gets a cold about a week and a half ago. And I say to myself, "this is going to end in an ear infection." I go out of town and he continues to be a hot soupy mess of mucous. But no symptoms. Not even the pure evil that originates in his ears.

That is until this week. When he got worse and worse behavior wise. Where he started trying to bite kids out of the ~~pure thrill of doing it~~ irritability originating in his ears. Then there was that time that one kid scratched him and it threw Sam into a frenzy (you know... all "YOU WON"T LIKE ME WHEN I"M ANGRY!") and he bites the stink out of the other kid and Susan had to pull them off each other.

So now I'm convinced beyond a shadow of a doubt that he has an ear infection. Let's start the drops.

But wait... that little voice of doubt in the back of my head wondering if that is the right thing to do! I call the doctor. I make an appointment. I cancel the appointment. I speak to doctor. This is where it goes bad for a bit.

I am told, "Well you don't even know what you are treating. It may not be an ear infection and you are just wasting money on drops. It doesn't sound like it is an infection. It sounds like he just has a virus that is making him feel bad."

I explain the resurrection of the evil child and how it ALWAYS correlates with an ear infection.

I am told, "Well you can keep doing the drops but I doubt that is what it is. Even if it gets better you won't know because it could have been just the virus running its course."

I get off the phone. I'm pissy. I'm doubting myself. I'm feeling stupid and protective and irritable. I call back. I make an appointment for 30 minutes in the future.

Holy smokes, Batman! What did we find?! He has an ear infection. Big. Shocker. (For the doctor it was anyway).

Then we entered into the conversation about why he is still getting ear infections. She says, if he has a constant runny nose (which he pretty much does) that the tubes can't handle that much mucous when coupled with a cold. There is a strong liklihood that he has a milk allergy and if we eliminate milk and all milk products for 3 weeks... we will likely see a huge improvement.

In my house, I cook with milk, butter, cream and cheese... A LOT. Alottalottalotta. Whoa Nelly.

So now, while I will be thrilled to get him feeling better and hoping this is it (as opposed to the alternative of wondering what the crap is going on)...this poses a HUGE challenge for me. How do I shop for milk allergies? What substitutes work and are good? What doesn't? How much is this going to freaking cost? How much longer will I spend preparing this food? How do I adjust?

So if you can answer any of those questions, please let me know. If you can't, then just pray that this transition is as seamless as possible.

*I seriously do love his two main doctors. Like really.

**Sorry for the foulness of my mouth but I get fairly irritable about this subject. And I cope by being foul. Deal.

Sam Doesn't Need Siblings After All

2011-09-25T21:28:00.000-05:00

ALERT! ALERT!

If you are someone that thinks people overshare on the internet... you may want to pass this post up. No, scratch that, just pass this post up.

If you want to hear the story that Sam's future wife will inevitably hear over and over again... much to Sam's dismay... read on please. :-)

It was an average Sunday night in the Turner household. Nothing really going on other than Momma and Daddy mourning the loss of another weekend.

Daddy was sitting on the couch beside Momma entertaining a certain rambunxious 20 month old and a certain needy poodle named Skipper.

Sam and Daddy were having a tickle fight and Momma wasn't paying a whole lot of attention... and that's when it happened...

Daddy jumps up and yells, "NO SAM! NO NO NO! SHIT! NO SAM! NO!"

Sam, looks around and starts to wail. Crying, sobbing, distraught mess.

This left Momma wondering what the hell just happened. But never fear, because Momma used her Go Go Gadget detective skills to figure it out.

Let's see....

Daddy and Sam were having a tickle fight.

Last I saw Sam, he was wriggling down in to the floor... the last place I saw his head was somewhere near my husband's crotch...

I KNOW! I KNOW!

My son bit down on my husband's crown jewels!

So while Justin is walking laps around the ground floor of my house, I go ahead and ask... "Did Sam just bite you in the balls?"

It was redundant, I realize that. But I needed confirmation.

Through his pain, Justin says, "Yup."

Keep in mind, my husband is making laps around the kitchen wondering why it never occurred to him to wear a cup to dinner. Sam is in the floor crying like I just bit HIM in the testicles. And yet, I'm using every once of self-control I have to not roll in the floor laughing. I mean, you can't make this stuff up!

So everything cools down, Justin and Sam make up and all is well with the world.

That is, until Justin decides to do some deeper investigation.

I hear from the bathroom... "Rikki... come here."

My 20 month old son managed to bite my husband in his gonads... which is an accomplishment in itself. He also managed to DRAW BLOOD through khaki shorts and boxers.

And not just like a paper cut blood. No, see back in the junior high, we learn that that particular "area" has lots of blood vessels. This means greater potential for bleeding.

Through my laughter (I know, I'm wrong... but c'mon!) I ask if he wants a band-aid. We both cringe at that idea. I get him some Neosporin and left him to his own devices as I went to launder the carnage.

I get back and I find out... Neosporin wouldn't stop the bleeding. It was bleeding through it.

So my husband in his infinite wisdom, puts a bandaid. On his balls.

This couldn't have been a better Sunday if it tried and brought chocolate.

And, to quote my husband about taking the bandaid off, "I'm gonna let that bitch soak in the shower for a while."

At least he is a good sport and let me write this for the world to read. God love him.

That Time Michelle Bought Him a Tickle Me Elmo

2011-09-12T21:02:00.000-05:00

My friend Michelle may be one of the best human beings to walk the planet. Why? Well, her loving on my son helps, but she is still pretty amazing without that fact.

Today, while at Toys R Us, Michelle thinks of my son when she sees an entire aisle dedicated to Elmo. She sent me a text picture of the aisle saying she wanted to buy them all for Sam. Little did I know, she really was going to buy one!

Enough already... here is the reaction.

Refresher course for those who don't know: Push his belly once, he says it tickles. Push it again, he likes it more. Push it three times, he shakes all over and laughs and makes a ridiculous scene (for those of you thinking of "that's what she said jokes, shame on you! this is a child's story!)

So, Michelle gives it to Sam, and he is ELATED. E freaking LATED. His whole face lights up, his eyes get bigger, he can hardly contain himself. Pure joy all over his face.

Then he got tickled for the third time.

Oh. Snap.

His face said the following two things at the very same time:

1) ohmuhgah momma is this really mine? Elmo is the best ever and Michelle is a close second. This is the best day ever please never let it end.

2) What the French toast is happening here? Help me momma! Make it quit... please GAWD make it stop!

Best time ever. No really... it was.

Here is a little picture montage that DOES NOT do it justice. I must have missed a few shots.

Mom, I really think I like it.

I mean, I'm pretty sure anyway.

I have anxiety, Mom. I smile when I'm nervous.

He stopped giggling. Whew! Close one, Mom!

Mom, I know she just gave me a gift, and I'm trying my best to smile, but what the french toast is he doing!? Hold me?

I'll just keep an eye on him over here. Please, no sudden moves.

That's the kind of "sudden moves" I was just talking about. How am I supposed to pretend I'm not afraid now?

Eff this! I'm out!

CUPPY CUPPY CUPPY CAKE!!!!!*

Okay so that was mean... but how freaking adorable (and chubby) is that picture!?

Precious Moments I Don't Want to Forget

2011-09-12T08:28:00.000-05:00

If you aren't into hearing the lovelies that are my son, then stop reading now. This post is chucked full of them!

He has been the sweetest boy this weekend. Just ate up with it. Here's how:

He has learned how to say, "I love you," which actually sounds like, "ud doo". But we know what it is. Normally he says it after we say it to him. This morning, Justin was leaving for work, and Justin says, "Bye bye Sam." Sam says, "Ud doo!"

Justin is going out of town for a few days and I just know this was just what he needed to hear.

He has also been wanting to give me "sugars" for no reason lately. He will just come up to me and pucker his lips. And who can say no to that?! Not this girl.

We took him and his little girlfriend Zoey to the park yesterday. They had so much fun! They went up and down the slides, they swang, they rode the bouncy car together... but when we were done, he was WORN OUT! But, his momma needed to continue her quest for safety pins before we went home and took a bath. So Sam tagged along as we went in Family Dollar. Then Dollar General. And finally Walgreens. But by the time we got to Walgreens and found the Holy Grail of Safety Pins (which is what I thought it was by then), Sam looked at me and says, "night night," and laid his head on my shoulders. Melt. My. Heart.

(I'm realizing how ADD this post is, but I'm just typing as I remember the cuteness.)

Earlier on Sunday, we had gotten back from church and eaten lunch. Justin and I were in our recliners with our feet up and Sam comes over to me and kisses my feet. I thought, "how sweet...and also kind of weird." But he isn't even two so it is mostly sweet. But then he keeps doing it. For like an hour, he would go play, then he'd run back and smile really big and kiss my toes. Then he did it to Justin. Over and over again, he'd come back to kiss our feet.

Needless to say, when it was time for his nap, I had a hard time putting him down. And when he cried, I went right back up there and got him and we took a nap together on my bed. For two sweet hours. And I don't regret it at all.

This morning, when he woke up, we went through our normal routine. Then he wanted to play so I pretended that he knocked me over and I fell into the floor. He comes up to me and says, "Up?" Then stuck out his hand and wanted to help me up. How sweet is that?! And he wouldn't give up until he "helped" me up. When I got up, he hugged my neck from behind...

Is there anything better out there?! Really? This last weekend was just fantastic. Happy Monday everyone!

The World is Better Now that Sam is in It

2011-09-06T15:41:00.002-05:00

I truly believe this. More than I've ever believed anything.

You know why?
This is why...

And this...

You think he may like the slide?

Methinks he might...

And for all of you who judge me when I call him a bucket head...

Happy 20 months* Sam! We celebrated the day at the park with Papa and Grandma, then we came home and made cookies, watched Elmo, and ate said cookies.

*We would have done these same things had it not landed on his "20 month" birthday. That was just my way of remembering how old he was.

The Post and Pledge for Sam

2011-09-01T09:06:00.000-05:00

Confession: I text and drive. At least, until yesterday I did.

But, I have decided today that I will never text and drive again. No big major event happened, other than my removal of my head from my ass. That would be a major event I guess.

For some reason, I started thinking about Sam driving yesterday. Why you ask? No idea. I guess I was making a mental list of things that would scare the be-jesus out of me. Sam driving qualifies as such an event.

And then I started thinking of how I would slap him around quite a bit if he were ever driving like a maniac, driving without his seat belt, or texting and driving.

Then I heard my phone bing bong. And I went to look at it. And I texted the person back.

Then I felt like a total jackass.

Why? I mean, he is not even 2 yet and I am already breaking the rules I want him to follow. sonofabitch...parenting fail.

I never want him to say, "Well mom, you do it!" So in order to be a good role model for my son (and live to see the day he drives), I will no longer be texting while driving. If it is important, my suggestion is for you to call me. Because I won't even be looking at the phone to see if it is important or not.

I will still answer the phone while on driving. To me, that's no more distracting that driving with a toddler in your car (which is sometimes like driving with a tiger in your car). So no problems there.

And now for things I find absolutely ADORABLE about Sam right now so he can grow up and say... "Mom, you were so crazy when I was a baby."

He is now at the age to give kisses when the mood strikes him. He also asks for hugs. Incidentally, he has momma and daddy are wrapped ever so tightly around his chubby little finger.

Example on this one that melted my heart: We were grocery shopping last weekend. I was waiting for someone to get out of the way of the cheese section and decided to hug Sam. I went to let go and he says, "Moooore!" and squeezed me tighter. This continued for about a full minute until he finally let me go so I could get the cheese. Justin is lucky we didn't leave the cheese aisle right then and go to they toy section and buy up every stinking toy that caught his eye. So precious.

He also is in this really cute sleeping pattern where he wants to lay on his "mumkey piyyow" (monkey pillow), hold his Elmo doll, and have his puppy sitting beside him. Oh yeah, and he likes to be covered up with the blanket.

Last night though, he found an old water bottle before he took his bath and insisted he bathe with it. After the bath, he wanted to play with it while he got lotioned and diapered. Then he wanted to sleep with it. His crib is crowded these days.

Also, he has a love for Elmo that runs deeper than the Atlantic and hotter than a thousand suns. At least 50 times a day, no exaggeration, he hands me the remote and says, "Elmo... elmo.... ELMO?"

His other big love right now? The babysitter's middle son, Jonah. OWE MUH GAWD. This morning he woke up and he said, in a very quiet voice, "momma? up?" then in the loudest morning voice I've ever heard from this child, he yells, "DOOONNNNAHHH!!!" I guess he was yelling loud enough for Jonah to hear him from Bryant. Who knows? But all the way to Susan's he called for Jonah and Susan, alternating when appropriate. If Jonah doesn't tell Sam "bye bye" before he goes to school, Sam will walk around the house calling for him for at least an hour. I'm trying to figure out how to have an "Elmo/Jonah" themed 2 year birthday party without being that creepy lady that needs to find a new babysitter. Ideas welcome.

We know his love for his dog Skipper is real and deep too. Its been like that for a while. We go on a family walk every night around the neighborhood. Now Sam wants to "walk" Skipper. Which means, while Sam sits comfortably in his stroller, he wants to hold Skipper's leash and let Skipper pull the stroller. He hangs on with both hands and concentrates really hard. It is so precious.

That's all for cuteisms of Sam. Until next time, goodnight and good luck.

Patience and Kindness Put in Perspective

2011-08-30T16:57:00.000-05:00

... love is patient, love is kind.

Is this how you would describe your love for others? Are you patient and kind in how you love others?

Self reflection for me: Not always. I lose my patience with my husband a lot. When I do that, I tend to be unkind. Admittedly, I've gotten a lot better about this, but I'm still not where I want to be.

Play out the scenarios in your head... when you get frustrated with friends, family, co-workers, acquaintances, enemies... as Christians, we are called to love all of them. And part of that love is patience and kindness.

When I start thinking about how hard it is to be both patient and kind in times of stress (especially when people are just grinding on my nerves), sometimes God reminds me of His reaction being tortured and beaten and hung on the cross.

Now think about that. If ever there was a time for Him to be ugly and rude... impatient and unkind... it was then. And what did He say? "Forgive them Lord, for they know not what they do."

That is love. That is pure, unadulterated love. And that's what we should strive to be. How petty do our disagreements or annoyances seem when compared to the heartache and suffering that led to the ultimate sacrifice. And yet, He, going through all of that, was still kind and patient.

Happy Tuesday everyone!

I Wish I Knew What the 19 Month Old Was Thinking When...

2011-08-24T15:30:00.000-05:00

He did this too his momma...

Admittedly, he didn't climb to the top of the pile, that would be his daddy's bright idea.

But one by one he piled a blanket on me. Then another. Then another. Then some pillows. Then some shoes. Whatever he could find, he was determined it all needed to be on me.

And after he'd put one on me, he'd say "nigh nigh".

Stinker.

A Closer Look at an "Overused" Verse

2011-08-22T09:33:00.000-05:00

Ok guys, let me apologize to those who were anxiously awaiting a "Testimony Tuesday" all summer and never got one. Summer is my busiest time of year and honestly, I didn't have anything on my heart to share. One thing I don't want this to become is a vague post because I feel like a have too. So if I don't feel like I have to, I just don't. More Christians should live like this. There is this "Christian guilt" thing that plagues people for not doing what they feel the world expects them to do. But they are ignoring the near third of the Bible (ok, I could be exaggerating) that tells you not give a flip of what the world thinks and to do what God tells you to do.

I digress...

It has been on my heart to do an in-depth look at 1 Corinthians 13. You know, the one that everyone and the brother used in the wedding ceremony... love is patient, love is kind... blar blar blar.

I have always had a bad attitude about this verse and God is getting onto me for it.

Bad attitude explanation: It is overused. People don't actually use it correctly most of the time. And it has just gotten a bit cliche for me. So much that I refused to let it in my wedding. It makes people feel fluffy with glittery unicorns abounding.

Turns out, that verse is God telling us how to love. And after you break it down, it isn't necessarily how we show love. Almost ever.

So for the next few days... weeks... not really sure, I'll be breaking it down piece by piece. Then to wrap up my many blogs it will take, I'll do one more to bring it all home. Basically... I think this is going to be good for a lot of people. Husbands and wives, brothers and sisters, friends, the broken-hearted, the heart-breakers, the mothers and fathers, the children, and the Christians who just need a reminder of how to love.

So with that... let's start the breakdown!

Take a moment to think what love means to you. Think of what actions show love, what words exemplify love, and what love really means to you.

"If I could speak all the languages of the earth and of angels, but didn't love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God's secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn't love others, I would be nothing. If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn't love others, I would have gained nothing." 1 Corinthians 13:1-3

What is God telling us hear? I'll tell you in my own words...

No one gives a crap how much you know, especially me, unless you love others. No one cares about your many talents (that came from me anyway) unless you love others. And there isn't a selfless act in the world that I care about if it isn't accompanied by loving others.

This is such a strong command! Basically, God is telling you to get over yourself and love people. No matter what you do, no matter what others do to you, no matter your many talents or your wondrous sacrifices... it all means nothing until you love others.

Happy Monday!

My 100th Post...and It's about Poop!

2011-08-21T12:42:00.000-05:00

These days, I'm a little overrun by poop.

Sam is potty training. Some days well, some days not so well, and some days where he is so close to well it isn't funny.

That's where we were yesterday. He was obsessed with the potty. Every few minutes he wanted to pee pee or poo poo but he never really did either once on the potty. So I continued to get ready for the day but we were in the bathroom and I was tired of "on diaper, off diaper, on diaper, off diaper" because getting a diaper on my active son is like trying to diaper a greased up pig.

So I let him run around naked. It was in the bathroom and he was constantly asking to get on the potty so I thought, "There's no way he'll even get a chance to pee in the floor."

Then I hear, "Poo poo." So I turn to get him and put him on the potty. Except, oh wait, too late, because there is a GIGANTIC MAN TURD in his hand!

Yup... my boy poops like a lumber jack and picks it up and hands it to me.

Oh so gross.

Now lets fast forward a handful of hours. I'm unloading the dishwasher, Pat (mother in law) is helping put away groceries, and the boy is awfully quiet. But we keep hearing him say, "Dog." I finally catch a glimpse of him.

He has stolen a spoon from the dishwasher and starting STIRRING FRESH DOG SHIT IN THE FLOOR! It's all down his leg and in his hands.

Thank the Lord above he didn't take a bite!

So Grandma gave Sam a bath, Justin finished cooking dinner, and I went on a stinky poop sanitizing spree!

And just in case you didn't catch it, this all happened yesterday. It's days like that when you can just shake your head and think... wow.

Songs You Think Mean One Thing... But In Reality...

2011-08-16T11:47:00.000-05:00

Most people who know me know that there are certain words that just freak me out. The list is small but the effect is profound if these words are uttered in my presence.

That was just some background information. Now for the absolutely pointless (like if you should be working now, get back to it) story.

I listen to the radio whenever my husband gives me the rights to the one car with a radio. I lurv it. LURV the radio.

Yesterday, I heard this incredibly catchy tune and really wanted to know what the song was. It goes a little something like this...

"I miss that lovin, that lovin, that lovin, that lovin... whooooooaaaa no!"

It honestly sounds like the Jackson 5 are singing this song. It makes me want to get up and dance, snap my fingers... you know... catchy!

So I'm at the front desk of East Hall waiting on some dinner companions, and I start looking this song up. I search "I miss that lovin" in every way I know how to. Nothing.

I go to the radio stations website and find something that is titled "Dedication to my Ex" and I thought, "That has to be it!"

So we play it. At the front desk. And this is what we hear.

***NOTE*** For the sake of others with a fear of a certain word, where the actual word goes, I'll be substituting "puppy". The actual word is remarkably similar looking, just sub in a different consonant for the middle p's.

"I miss that puppy, that puppy, that puppy, that puppy, whooooooooa no!... What have you done with my puppy?!"

OH MUH GAWD!

This is on LOUD in the East Hall Front Lobby. And I am responsible for it. URG!

So for your auditory ambiance... here are both versions. The second is NOT safe for work. Dear sweet Jesus...

Clean version Rikki would like to preserve...

Dirty version Rikki would like to forget...

Genius or Glutton?

2011-08-08T09:48:00.000-05:00

My child may be a potty training genius. That, or a glutton.

Is he really? No, probably not. But holy moly, he made so much progress in one day, it amazes me how kids just "get it" sometimes. It happens so fast!

Beginning:

At Sam's daycare, a little girl is potty training. She got to sit on the potty and... hold the phone... Sam wanted to also. So Susan started letting him sit on the potty. She tells me about it and I too start letting him sit on the potty.

Is he actually pottying? No. Of course not. But he feels like a big boy on the potty so whats the harm?

He would ask all the time and every once in a while we get a little pee pee and he'd be so shocked he'd just stare then grin really big. Totally cute.

And a few times we caught him "mid poop" and hurried to the potty only for Sam to not understand and still just be content sitting on the potty.

That sums up the previous two weeks or so. Just exploring the potty. No pressure. Just when he wanted to go, he could go.

Enter this weekend.

He figured out really quickly that if you pee pee on the potty... you get an M&M. So not only does he get to sit on the potty like a big boy, but he gets candy too? SWEET!

So on Sunday, we maybe went through 3 diapers. He would say, "pee pee" or "poo poo" and off we'd go to the potty.

Then he'd squeeze and grunt and VIOLA! Pee pee!

And boy did we ever throw a party! But it kept happening. All day long he wanted to go pee pee. And then he did! And he didn't pee his diaper during nap! And at night, we went poo poo in the potty! Exciting times in the Turner household!

I never thought I'd have a kid that would basically potty train himself, but that is basically what is happening. We did it on his time, even though I wasn't even close to being ready yet.

We aren't done potty training, far from it actually. But I just needed to brag on my little boy because he just constantly amazes me. I never thought I'd be so proud of poop and urine... but I am. I'm swelled with pride!

Sam, His Tubes, and His Overprotective Parents

2011-08-05T12:32:00.000-05:00

Ok, Sam got his tubes this morning and there is lots to talk about. Although, to spoil it and not lead people along, he did fine, it went fine, all is well in the world.

The day before:
Thank God this is the busiest time of year for me. So work wasn't torture just sitting around waiting on tomorrow to roll around, it was pretty much balls to the wall all day, go pick Sam up, go home, get dinner... oh yeah... his tubes get put in tomorrow.

Two fantastic parts of this day... Gena and Susan. These girls are the cheese to my macaroni and the butter to my bread. The milk to my Oreos... you get the point. Susan watches Sam and she asked me what time his procedure was. I told her, wondering what it mattered because he wasn't going to daycare anyway. Later I find out, she's rearranged her schedule, gotten a substitute, so she can be there in the waiting room with us.

Shut. Up.

Who's babysitter does that? For real? She's the best.

Then as I'm telling my bestie Gena about the wonderfulness that is Susan, when I get out that Susan was coming, Gena says, "Oh so you aren't opposed to that? I'd like to come too."

Seriously?! How loved is this little boy? Two people who aren't even blood related (although I would argue that they could be by the way they treat him and us) were going out of there way to be a surgery center at 7 am!

Again... they are the cheese to my macaroni... and I like macaroni and cheese A LOT!

Today...

We got there and all is well. He started getting fussy because by 7 am he normally has his breakfast and milk. So at 7:30 when they still haven't put him under and he still hasn't eaten, he got a bit disagreeable. He wanted to play with all the tubes and equipment and did not want to be held and sit still.

The nurse came out and Sam went right to her. No crying, no looking back. Thank. God!

That was what I was dreading the most. Him being terrified and me having to watch him be terrified and not do anything about it. Luckily, that didn't happen.

We went back to the waiting room and chatted with Gena and Susan for a bit. We weren't back 10 minutes and the doctor came out and said Sam did great.

PHEW!

Until we got back to recovery.

The nurse was holding Sam, who was conked out, and playing with his Elmo doll (that he got to take back to surgery with him). Then Sam began to wake up.

And the world ended.

He was so upset. Unconsolable. Drink didn't help. Hugging didn't help. At one point he raised his hands in the air in utter despair just wailing!

And I was honestly laughing. I laugh because when I come out from under anesthesia, I cry like that. I don't know why...but I just cry and cry and cry. So this display was very amusing to me.

It took until we go back home and he saw the dog that he finally calmed down fully. Then we took a two hour nap (yup he slept on my chest like the good ole days) and all is well in the world of Sam.

I just pray we are able to just have done this the once, they stay in, and they fix the problem. :-)

The Woes of my Son's Ears

2011-07-21T12:51:00.000-05:00

We are on ear infection 7 of 2011. That's more than one a month. Except... oh wait... they started in March.

I've known this day was coming for a while. The doctors have warned me that he is getting them awfully quickly. Then the last one I was told, "It is summer so he shouldn't get any more. If he does, we'll have to refer him."

Well that's like coming to work and saying, "I hope nothing big happens today." You know good and well that it is going to be the worst day ever after uttering something like that.

Well the last three days with Sam have been pure hell after about 3pm. In the morning he is fine. But the night time is NOT the right time (Adam Sandler reference).

Sam has been so fussy, hard to deal with, throwing fits, refusing to say please, throwing himself on the ground, yelling, crying.... mess. For two nights in a row he didn't join us for dinner for at least 10 minutes in because he refused to say please due to him being unwilling to break away from a full blown bratty fit.

Not to mention that this week at daycare he has slept like 3 - 3 1/2 hours at nap.

Pick my jaw up off the floor... holy moly. He rarely sleeps more than 2 hours. Like we are excited when he does.

So when he started this mess I thought he might have an ear infection. But I talked myself out of it, thinking he was just growing or something.

Mama's... take note... if you think your child is sick... he is. That's just how it goes.

When I dropped him off this morning, I told Susan I thought that was what was going on. She said, "You know your child better than you think you do."

So I decided to go ahead and go in. He had an ear infection in one ear and probably one in the other but it was so full of ear wax she couldn't see.

She said she could irrigate it and look but he had one in the other ear so it doesn't really matter. I can appreciate that.

Then she busted out the "Look how many ear infections... probably should see the ENT."

Again... I knew it. I knew it was coming. And the biggest part of it is he isn't supposed to be getting them in the summer. If we don't do something now, how much fun is winter going to be?!

So... like I said on Facebook earlier... I get to be as whiny and emotional today as I damn well want to be. You know why? Because I love my son more than life itself and I don't care if 1 billion other children have done this and were fine... they aren't my child and I do not like that he even has to see another specialist... let alone have ear surgery. I'm allowed to be upset and emotional.

You think this is bad? You wait until the day of.

The Chocolate Milk Monster

2011-07-21T06:54:00.001-05:00

True confessions of a mother that picks her battles: I give my child chocolate milk.

It started as a treat every once in a while. No joke, like maybe once or twice a month. And that is how often he was getting it about a week ago.

Well... about a week ago he was having a rough day and I thought he deserved some chocolate milk.

The next day, I'm giving him his regular milk for the morning and I leave the fridge open while pouring the glass. I turn back around to put the milk back in the fridge and my son is standing there, holding the chocolate syrup, saying, (in your best Tiny Tim voice) "Mooooooore?"

I said, "You want chocolate milk?"

He nodded his head and said, very matter of factly, "More."

Enter this morning.

I'm making his regular milk for the morning. I had left the fridge open again, was almost done, turned to close the fridge and he runs, and screams, "No, no, no, no. Mooooooreeee!" And then grabbed the chocolate syrup.

That little stinker.

Showing God's Love Always

2011-07-05T19:48:00.001-05:00

The title might be misleading. I do not always show God's love. I try to, but human nature prevails sometimes and hateful things get said, often in a well meaning way.

Today Facebook was RAMPANT with this type of behavior. And as I said, I know everyone means well. A little precious girl was murdered and abused and no one has paid the price except for her. It is heart breaking.

But as I saw all these statuses on Facebook today about how Casey Anthony will burn in hell, and will get her judgement, and we just let murderers run free in the streets of Florida, etc. etc. etc. I just couldn't help but think, who are we to judge? And more importantly, if we are wishing this on another human being, if she really did murder her daughter, are we no better than she by wishing her death?

Why aren't we praying for her? Why aren't we wishing she would find Christ's love? Why aren't we showing her the love that she may or may not have shown her daughter? Is that not what we are called to do?

I hope this post doesn't sound pretentious. I'm not meaning to be. I just want to call attention to what all of us are guilty of at one time or another. I want us to all realize how our seemingly well comments may be received by others out there who are unfamiliar with Christ's love.

I know there is scripture in Matthew to support what I'm saying but I don't have my Bible near to find it. I may add it later. This was just on my heart to share.

ADDITIONAL SCRIPTURE EDIT

Here are the verses I was trying to reference... there are more than I bargained for :-)

Matthew 7:1-3 Do not judge others, and you will not be judged. For you will be treated as you treat others. The standard you use in judging is the standard by which you will be judged. And why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own?

Hebrews 13: 1-3 Keep on loving each other as brothers and sisters. Don't forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it! Remember those in prison, as if you were there yourself. Remember those being mistreated, as if you felt their pain in your own bodies.

Proverbs 3:5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart; do not depend on your own understanding.

Romans 14:4 Who are you to condemn someone else's servants? Their own master will judge whether they stand or fall. And with the Lord's help, they will stand and receive his approval.

Romans 12:19 Dear friends, never take revenge. LEave that to the righteous anger of God. For the Scriptures say, "I will take revenge; I will pay them back," says the Lord.

The One About Jesus and Stuff...

2011-06-22T09:22:00.000-05:00

So for some reason, Testimony Tuesday didn't really work out yesterday. So, I've decided to go on like nothing ever happened and share what I felt led to this week.

Matthew 13: 3-9
He told many stories int he form of parables, such as this one: "Listen, A farmer went out to plant some seeds. As he scattered them across his field, some seeds fell on a footpath, and the birds came and ate them. Other seeds fell on shallow soil with underlying rock. The seeds sprouted quickly because the soil was shallow. But the plants soon wilted under the hot sun, and since they didn't have deep roots, they died. Other seeds fell among thorns that grew up and choked out the tender plants. Still other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they produced a crop that was thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted! Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.

Matthew 13: 18-23
"Now listen to the explanation of the parable about the farmer planting seeds: The seed that fell on the footpath represents those who hear the message about the Kingdom and don't understand it. Then the evil one comes and snatches away the seed that was planted in their hearts. The seed on the rocky soil represents those who hear the message and immediately receive it with joy. But since they don't have deep roots, they don't last long. They fall away as soon as they have problems or are persecuted for believing God's word. The seed that fell among the thorns represents those who hear God's word, but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life and the lure of wealth, so no fruit is produced. The seed that fell on good soil represents those who truly hear and understand God's word and produce a harvest of thirty, sixty , or even a hundred times as much as had been planted.

Each of us have probably been several of these seeds at one point or another. Personally, the seed I identify with the most is the seed that fell on shallow soil. I can remember countless times that I have received the Word from Jesus either through scripture, preaching, others witnessing too me, or just an intimate moment with God. And I was so filled with joy and a renewed relationship and a new zest for God. And within days, it was all fizzled out and I was back to my same old ways.

I can honestly say, this is how I spent most of my Christian life. Ups and downs... lukewarm at best... not really challenging myself to grow in Christ but still unwilling to deny His presence.

And now, even in just the last year or so, my relationship with God has been deepened and magnified and it is just truly awesome! It is exciting.

Back in the day, it was a CHORE for me to read my Bible. And honestly, I just didn't do it. I didn't want to. I didn't get it. And I didn't care. I could pray and feel good about everything. And even praying wasn't like a conversation. It was every once in a while when I needed something or was having a hard time.

I now LOVE to read my Bible. I get excited about making time for my Bible.

I guess what I am getting at is that there are those reading this who identify with many of the seeds in Jesus's parable... but not the last one. And you want to identify with the last seed. The fertile seed. The seed that multiplies by 100.

It takes discipline. It takes constant prayer and fellowship with Jesus. It takes having faith in JESUS that He will take care of you. It takes blocking out the devil and his doubts and worries and fears and insecurities. And it takes forgiving yourself when you miss the mark.

Because ultimately you are made for God's purpose. And it is a pretty great one. You just have to realize that you are the only one in the way of your relationship with God. What do you need to change in order to experience Him in a deeper way?

Sweeping, Stairs, and the Shuffle

2011-06-08T11:28:00.000-05:00

Ok so the title is weird but it is just a way for me to have a title other than, "Look how cute my son is... again." So deal with it, mkay? LOL

Story: Sam was quiet for a long time. It finally dawns on me to go looking for him. When I find him he is sitting in my bedroom pretending to read his bathtime book. It was so sweet!

Now you may be wondering, "Bathtime book? In the bedroom?"

Yeah... get off my case. We just moved in. Some things landed in weird places.

This is a series I like to call, "Sam and Skipper... making out."

And this is a nightly thing. The two just love each other and to doggie and 17 month old... that translates into sugars.

But sometimes Sam gets tired of sugars.

Sam also likes to sweep.

Everything.

Even the dog.

And alas, I bring you to my favorite part. But you need back story first.

We have stairs. Sam loves stairs. This scares Momma.

But Sam being the creative little hooligan that he is, comes up with his own special way of going down the stairs. He flops on his belly, backwards, and slides down.

I've never seen anything like it. And he came up with it all on his own. I was worried about him trying to go up and down the stairs. Susan told me about another kid a little older than him that goes down stairs backwards... but he crawls backwards. So I flipped Sam around wanting to give it a try and OFF HE GOES! Sliding down on his belly.

So I wanted to capture this because it is a HOOT! So I get the video camera out and well... watch all of it... even the boring ball stuff in the middle.

I cannot get enough of this kid!

Testimony Tuesday: Unanswered Prayers and Faith

2011-06-07T08:52:00.001-05:00

This is in no way what I intended to write about today. In fact, this went a whole different way than I expected. But it is here. Please forgive the mis-capitalization throughout. I typed really fast.

Hebrews 5:7: While Jesus was here on earth, he offered prayers and pleadings, with a loud cry and tears, to the one who could rescue him from death. And God heard his prayers because of his deep reverence for God.

Basically, Jesus cried out to God to rescue him from death in a very emotional and deep way, and God heard him, but did not grant his wish. Why? To save our souls... he had a bigger picture in mind.

Take that in for a minute. His SON was pleading and crying out for his FATHER to save him from death... and God said, "No, son, we will continue with my plan."

And that plan? To DIE for OUR sins. OURS.... not his... ours.

I cannot imagine what I would not give to spare my son any torturing or death. Nothing comes to mind that I wouldn't do. I don't even understand the depths of my love for my son.

But he told him no.

So now think about whatever life circumstance you are going through. Is God not answering your prayers? Are you pleading for something that isn't happening? It does sometimes seem that He doesn't hear us. But he does. He hears our cries. And he ultimately he has our best interests at heart and we could never understand fully his love for us.

So we are left with having to trust in our Heavenly Father and not lose faith that He loves us and wants what is best for us.

Verses for illustration:

God never puts on us more than we can bear. (paraphrase from 1 Corinthians 10:13). We hear this all the time but it is true! After going through trials, do you not come out a better person?

Even when we lose faith, God remains faithful. (yet another paraphrase of 2 Timothy 2:13

We walk by faith, not by sight or appearance. 2 Corinthians 5:7

And the kicker... Hebrews 13:8: Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

Did he do a good job creating the universe? The stars? The plants? The animals? Has he been faithful to you? Has He ever changed?

No... he hasn't. Why would he stop being faithful to you now?

Just as a baby cries for milk...does the mother instantly have food to give? Or might she have to go make formula, or prep to breastfeed, or might be in another room. The baby doesn't understand though. The baby just knows to cry until he is fed. And though time and time again the mother feeds the baby when he cries, does he still not cry for food?

But just like God shows us His plan in good time (His time...not ours), the mother gives the baby food.

So can you trust that God is in control and knows what He is doing?

Basically, if you believe the above verses, you must use your faith to trust that God has your best intentions at heart and he will deliver in good time.

We Got a New Home and Junk!

2011-06-01T14:35:00.000-05:00

I have been MIA in the blogging world for a bit because I WAS MOVING INTO OUR HOUSE!

That's why!

I cannot begin to tell you how amazing it feels living in my own house. Background story for all of you not in reslife... I have lived on campus for 9 years... yup. 9 years. One year shy of a decade.

Holy smokes that is a long time.

Now, stop picturing me in a dorm room for 9 years. I was in a dorm room for the traditional 4 years (really only 3.5 since I got the hall director job early). Then I moved into a two bedroom apartment which happened to be in the dorms. Then I moved to another two bedroom apartment at a different school... but still in the dorms. (Also, any reslife people reading this are CRINGING that I am calling it "dorms").

So, alas, my time has come to join the homeowner's world.

I of course have no pictures, but I will eventually.

Favorite things about having a house (in no particular order):

1. Kitchen space. I have some now. It is fantastic. I don't have to creatively stack things in order to make sure I have all the equipment I need. I have a drawer just for plastic baggies. I find this awesome.

Also, two people can fit in my kitchen without being mistaken for bumping uglies. It is phenomenal.

2. Sam has space to PLAY! He runs through the living room, through the kitchen, through the office, all the way back around, just giggling the whole time. It is so great!

3. There is space for a recliner for me and the hubs! WHAT?! You mean I don't have to sit on the floor when guests come over??! Preposterous!

4. We can have a family meal now. We bought our dining room table the other day and it goes in our little bay window area. LOVE IT! It has a country cottage feel to it and we all fit at the table and we will be having our meals there. Every one of them.

5. Bugs. I can hear bugs now. I think this is why I found Alma so relaxing. I would "getaway" to Alma and I would hear bugs at night. There is no one yelling... no sirens... hardly the noise of cars driving by even... just bugs. And if you know me well, you know how much I must be in love with something to brag about the bugs.

6. Neighborhood walks. I can go on them now and not fear for my well being. And that may be a little misleading because it makes it sound like I've been on neighborhood walks where I used to live. I haven't.

But here, we can walk right down the middle of the street. And we do sometimes. Me, Justin, Sam, and Skipper all go on walks in the evening after dinner. We walk around the neighborhood, admire the landscaping that the neighbors are doing, listen to bugs, and just walk. It is so great.

7. Living close to family. I know a lot of people may not see this as a plus, but we do. Since I do not have the luxury of living close to my family, I have worried about Sam being close to his grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. I loved growing up with my cousins. We had so much fun! And I was always so close to my grandparents too.

While we may not be close to my family, we are now to Justin's. And I just love it. We can go over to their house for a swim if we want. They come over just to bring cookies for Sam (and for us, let's be honest). Johnny just shows up one day to mow the yard. We can run stuff for them, they can run stuff for us. It is just nice to be near family. I love it.

8. Proximity to friends. I will admit, this is a sore subject for me because this move put me much farther from my BFF and that is a major downside to this moving thing. But, we are closer to some friends that we have missed hanging out with because of our distance. Now we live right down the road from them and can hang out SO MUCH MORE! And they are super great people to be around anyway so this has to go on the plus list. Also, Sam and their daughter are TWO days apart! Which is fun because Justin and her dad are ONE day apart! I love coincidences like that!

9. Being a homeowner and dog owner helps me get up in the morning. It is insane. I have been wanting to get up at 5 am for so long. And then I just wouldn't do it. I have been up at 5:15 am every morning so far and it hasn't been hard. I just get up, take the dog for a walk, shower, coffee and quiet time, make Justin's lunch, get Sam ready, then it is off to work I go! And it hasn't bothered me.

10. Not to get all mushy or anything, but we finally have a home. This is where Sam will grow up. This is where we will make so many memories. It is just nice to have a HOME that is your OWN. I am so thankful for my many years living on campus. It has impacted me in ways I couldn't even begin to understand. But the time has come for me to move on and I just couldn't be more in love with our little house.

Thieving Little Monkey and other Sam tidbits

2011-05-23T14:50:00.000-05:00

First off, I am that mother that calls her child offensive names. I say it with love and we are all laughing so I do not have a problem with this at all. I was raised that way and honestly, it is funny and most accurately describes the kid.

Enter "thieving little monkey."

Sam has figured out the drinks in Momma and Daddy's cups are much more delicious than what is in his cup. He has also gotten tall enough to swipe our drinks when we aren't looking.

So on any given night, this is the the chain of events:

Sam: Peese. Peese. (points to cup.)
Us: No Sam. You have a drink.
Sam: (walking up to drink) Peese. More.
Us: No Sam!
Sam: (takes the drink anyway and runs)
Us: (Take the drink and put Sam in the corner.)

Now take the above scenario and replace cup with "remote", "wii mote", "I-pad", "plate with food on it", and "cell phone."

Another reason for him being a thieving little monkey, he wanted some graham crackers the other day. Not a problem, I gave him some. But then we were done. I went to the kitchen and put them on the counter. He asks for more and I said no. I then go into the living room. I hear ruckus in the kitchen but nothing abnormal. I then hear crinkling plastic that sounds oddly reminicsent of the graham cracker package. I investigate.

My thieving son has stacked up moving boxes to stand on so he can reach the graham crackers. Thieving. Little. Monkey.

He is so funny. Being chased is like the best thing for him ever. If you chase him, and get him into a corner, his next logical step is to run at you as fast as he can. Does this mean he will be aggressive?!

Other funnisms...

He still thinks it is hilarious for other people to fall or bump their heads. He knows "yes" and "no" and uses them quite appropriately. For instance...

"Sam did you poo poo?"
Sam lifts up his shirt and looks at his diaper.
"Sam did you poo poo?"
Sam, "Ya."
"Ok, lets change your diaper."
Sam says, "no" and runs away laughing.

He is also a little hooligan at daycare. Susan is really working on them to use their words. Some of the kids are more stubborn than others so she witholds things from them (snack, drink, picking them up, etc.) until they use their words. What is my son doing in the background? "peese. peese. pu. pu. more. more. dink. dink." (for all those wondering, "pu" is up.)

Also on the hooligan subject, if the other kids get in trouble, he taunts them in the corner, shaking his finger and saying "no no" at them. Or if they have a toy he wants, he grabs it from them and says, "Thant oo".

Other fun habits you guys don't care to read about:

He loves to sing. He sings me his ABCs (at least the tune). All I have to say is, "Sam you want to sing?" and there he goes. But it is soft and sweet singing. For now anyway.

He has a fascination with shoes. He knows where his shoe drawer is and goes and gets them all out one by one and makes a big pile. I can only assume he finds the ones he doesn't like and throws them in the diaper pail.

Other items frequently found in the diaper pail? Remotes, socks, clean diapers, diaper cream, papers, keys, etc. It is almost the first place we look for missing items now.

And to leave it on a sweet note, I look forward to him waking up every morning because he wants to cuddle with me for at least five minutes. He just lays his head on my shoulder and we lay down. Once he is good and woke up, I'd better be getting him some milk though.

This is just the most fun age. He wears me out but right now I'm his everything and he's mine. I'll go back and read this when I'm no longer cool to him and at least remember a time when I was cool.

Thestimony Thursday: Obedient Children

2011-05-12T14:23:00.000-05:00

Did ya like what I did there? I added an "h" and I sound like I have a speech impediment. It makes it okay that I'm two days late on my post.

Anyway...

At the end of my last post I confessed to you all that I had basically been ignoring God. I know. I'm awesome.

I then vowed that I would get up at 5:30 am from then on out and stop ignoring the Almighty Lord.

And here is how that went...

First try: Sam wakes up in the middle of the night coughing. Will not go back to sleep for 3 hours. Mom is zombie and feels it is okay to not get up at 5:30. Mom still reads and prays during the day and everything was great.

Second try: Sam wakes up in the middle of the night coughing. Will not go back to sleep for 3 hours. Mom is zombie and feels like it is okay to not get up at 5:30. Mom still read and prays during the day and everything was fine.

Third try: Sam sleeps fine. Major event happens in the middle of the night beginning at 2 am and I don't go to sleep afterward. I then go to work with now three days of hardly sleeping. I'm emotional and tired and stressed. (Rikki with no sleep is just awful.) Somehow, set aside prayer time and Bible reading didn't happen.

Fourth try: I believe this landed on a weekend and all was fine. Caught up on reading.

Fifth try: This went well too.

Sixth try: I wasn't feeling well and didn't sleep well. Tossed and turned all night. Barely slept. Ended up getting up at 6.

Seventh try: Couldn't sleep again. Got up and spent time with God. God was leading me to post on what we were talking about. I decided to wait until morning to post it. In the morning I forgot.

Eighth and ninth try: Told myself I'd wake up at 5:30 anyway so no need for alarm. Note to self: Without the alarm, I apparently don't take the clock as seriously. When I did get up a little after 6, my son also woke up therefore robbing me of my Rikki/Jesus time.

After all that boringness... what is the point?

Why do I expect results from God when I can't even follow a simple command.

Here is how the narrative goes:

God: Rikki get up at 5:30 am and I will share my beautiful word with you.

Rikki: But that's early.

God: Yes, but it is quiet and peaceful. We connect better that way.

Rikki: But that's early.

God: If you are unwilling to spend time with me, why do you still expect me to do things for you?

Which brings me to my next example that hits a little bit closer to home for some:

As a parent, when Sam wants something he has to do what I say. For instance:

Sam: (Points at Cheese-Its and whines)

Mom: What do you want?

Sam: (Points to Cheese-Its and whines more)

Mom: What do you want, Sam?

Sam: (Points to Cheese-Its, whines, and now is jumping up and down)

Mom: Tell me what you want Sam. Use words.

Sam: More. Please. (which is actually MOE PEEZ

Mom: (hands him Cheese-Its)

It is so simple.

Stop expecting things from your Father when you don't do what He says!

Moral of the story:

Spend time with God every day. Read the Bible. Medidate on the verses. And pray.

Don't just pray as in asking for things. But share with Him your feelings, your thoughts, your dilemmas and your joys. It goes a long way.

I mean, if you had a friend that just complained to you about everything that was wrong and asked you to help fix it, how long would you remain their friend? It gets annoying.

Now take it a step further and you give them advice on how to correct the problems. And they ignore it. Over and over and over again.

Irritating as all get out.

So knock it off. Because, I know you are doing it too. :-)

Happy Thestimony Thursday.

Testimony Tuesday: Will You Allow God to Bring Revival?

2011-05-03T11:54:00.002-05:00

*It is important to note that I have very limited knowledge on what I am about to blog about. But God won't let me get out of this one so I will proceed as planned.*

If you live in Little Rock or the surrounding areas, you may have heard of Summit Church and what is going on there for the past month. If not, I'll tell you what I know.

God is moving in that church in powerful ways. They have had four weeks of straight church. They didn't bring someone in for revival. They simply let God work.

A few stories I know of:

One of my friends goes to that church, and on one of the first nights of this movement, God kept telling her to go to the alter and empty her wallet and urge the rest of the church to do the same. She fought and fought because she didn't feel comfortable doing it. Then the preacher told the congregation that someone was in the congregation that had a message for them and they needed to come forward. She fought it still... but was now doubting her fight. More and more people came up to the front... confessing sins... testifying... there was a line to get the microphone to share with everyone.

Finally, it was her turn and she did as she was told. Over $5000 was given that night! Read more about that night here scroll down to April 4th post. She had $40 in her wallet and she left it on the alter. Later in the service, someone came to her and told her that God told them to give her $80.

People are praying for each other, praising God, being blessed left and right... it is truly amazing just to hear what is going on in this church! And all because they moved aside and let God do His work.

I have another friend that goes to First Baptist of Little Rock. The story behind this is that the preacher from Summit used to preach at First Baptist... the church split, and he created Summit. There was a lot of hurt that came with the split.

Anyway, the preacher at First Baptist called the preacher from Summit and told him he thought someone needed to come to their church to share what was going on. The Summit preacher agreed, but thought he wasn't the right one for the job (due to the bad way things had gone when he left). The First preacher thought that the Summit preacher was the man for the job, so they agreed to pray about it for 3 days, then make a decision. Turns out, it was time for him to return to that church.

This happened last night. Not only did he speak for an hour to the congregation about what is going on at his church, but he brought others from Summit that had left First Baptist. And apparently, God had some plans for them!

They also had an amazing service with people confessing their sins from the split... even the preacher from Summit! That church began healing last night, one lady left with $1500 to help her get back on her feet after her husband died and left her with a failing business, and lots of others felt the Lord in a very intimate way.

This is my knowledge on the subject. God is telling me the purpose of this blog is three-fold.

1) There are churches in the area that are battling spiritual warfare and not allowing the Holy Spirit to work. And this has to stop. God has amazing things in store for this area and breaking down these walls is essential to realizing God's promises.

2) To get those who are involved to share their testimonies in the comments section. These stories are powerful. They have affected me and I haven't even gone to one of the services. So, if you have been to any of these services, please comment below on what your experiences are. Or something that God is wanting you to share.

3) I know there is someone reading on the verge of making the commitment to Christ. I may not get the most comments after each post, but I will not stop. Because there are people out there getting thirstier and thirstier for Christ's love and if I can be a tool for getting someone to it, how can I not agree?

So there you have it. I will be forwarding this link to those that I think have something to add. I hope they will continue as well.

And I leave you with a few verses:

Jeremiah 29: 13-14 "If you look for me wholeheartedly, you will find me. I will be found by you," says the Lord. "I will end your captivity and restore your fortunes. I will gather you out of the nations where I sent you and will bring you home again to your own land." -- this verse gives me chills in reference to this post

John 15: 5 "Yes, I am the vine; you are the branches. Those who remain in me, and I in them, will produce much fruit. For apart from me you can do nothing."

Some of these things are on their website. Check it out: http://thesummitchurch.org/

**So I went to the website and was so moved that I have just decided to embed some of the videos here.**

Tears of Joy - Lexi Phelps from The Summit Church on Vimeo.

Our Financial Worries Are Gone - Montina Dunn from The Summit Church on Vimeo.

Making His Deeds Known from The Summit Church on Vimeo.

A Life Surrendered - Michelle Tedder from The Summit Church on Vimeo.

And now after going through these videos, God is telling me to confess to you all something I've been running from. That stinkin' God gets me every time ;-)

I am making the public commitment now that I will get up at 5:30 am every morning to pray.

I say that first, because for a while now (like months) I have felt God telling me to get up at 5:30 to pray. And I did it for about a week. Then I stopped. I was tired and this was sleep time and as long as I read during the day I'd be fine.

Then several days would go by that I didn't pray. Sure I'd get a good day every once in a while that brought great word, but I also missed a lot.

Then God started actually waking me up at 5:30 am. It is ridiculous. I'll wake up every morning, look at the clock, and it is somewhere between 5:25 - 5:35 am.

This morning, I woke up. 5:28 am. You know what I did? I laughed. I laughed and rolled right back over and went to sleep.

So right, now I'm setting my alarm for 5:30 am. And when it goes off, I'm getting up and praying and exercising.

Please share your stories in the comments section. Someone is really going to benefit from these stories.

Sam v. The Dog

2011-04-25T12:19:00.001-05:00

Ok, this may not be as funny to others as it is to me... but trust me, it was hilarious as it was going down.

Set-up: When we walked into Susan's today, she is watching a dog for a few weeks. The dog wanted Sam's attention. Then the dog wanted to sniff Sam... a lot. Watch the video now. Sam just can't seem to get away from him.

Sam's Cuteness Continued

2011-04-25T10:54:00.000-05:00

Sam fell asleep on me for naptime. He stayed asleep for hours... and well my bladder couldn't handle it. I rolled him off of me... and this is how he slept for the remainder of the nap... could you not just eat him up!?

The Easter bunny brought me a beach ball!

I love this beach ball!

I also love bubbles.

Lots of bubbles!

OMG FREAKIN BUBBLES!!!

Sam's Cuteness Captured

2011-04-25T10:46:00.000-05:00

I just realized I can't post the video on here just yet... that post will be coming soon. Just as soon as I can figure out how to read a micro SD card...

See this big knot on my head? Yup. I'm a trooper. I also fall down a lot.

I really like naked time. And giving daddy sugars.

Don't act mad at me for helping myself. You left them here.

We're friends.

"If the bunny touches my ball I'll slap him with a carrot."

Well this is all the pictures I can add for now... post #2 coming up!

Good Friday Belated Testimony Tuesday

2011-04-22T11:01:00.000-05:00

It is Good Friday today. Hallelujah!

And while it is Good Friday to us (as it should be... Savior rescuing us from sin and saving our souls for eternity... pretty darn good) I bet it really sucked that day.

No, really. Think about it from Jesus' perspective.

You get beaten, scorned, spit on (and remember what dental hygiene was like then), and hung from a cross to die. I don't know about you, but this equals "Not Good Friday"... nay... "Downright Bad Friday." And we complain about Mondays?!

Now as a mother, I am COMPELLED to look at it from Mary's perspective. You think Jesus had it bad?! Mary had to WATCH her SON be TORMENTED, BEATEN, SCORNED, SPIT ON, then NAILED TO A CROSS TO DIE!

Want to torture me for state secrets?! Do anything mean to my son. Oh. My. Gosh.

I tear up just thinking about what Mary went through on that day. On every day after that.

I may be stepping on the toes of controversy here, but it is on days like today where I think the Catholics have it right. I know there are Protestants that say Catholics worship Mary. I have never seen it is as worship. I see it as reverence and honestly, sometimes the Protestants do not revere her enough.

I mean, c'mon people, Mary had kind of a big role to play in the whole "Jesus saving our souls" bit. Didn't she?

So to bring this post all back together, there has been a song on my heart to share on this blog. Many of you have heard it. Some may even know the story behind it. I urge you to listen to it again from the eyes of Mary (as it is not written from the eyes of Mary). Think about how she felt on this day some almost 2000 years ago.

This song is "Held" by Natalie Grant. She writes it from several perspectives. Extreme hurt felt by God's children. The first verse is about a mother who lost her baby at 2 months old.

There is someone reading this right now that is doubting Jesus's love for them. A person who has experienced terrible hurt or is currently experiencing terrible hurt. There is someone reading who is terribly afraid of experiencing this hurt. And there is someone else who simply does not believe.

Let God wrap His love around you right now. There is no hurt He doesn't understand and can't heal. And He does love you. So, so very much. Allow Him to love you. Please.

This is what it means to be held. And to know, that the promise was when everything fell, we'd be held.

I want to hug Mary and thank you for her sacrifice, as well as her son's. I am utterly thankful and humbled that I was found worthy of it.

Mary went to sleep that night dealing with the image of her son being tormented and killed. And I bet she was "held."

Happy Good Friday!

Testimony Tuesday: Forgiveness of a Child

2011-04-12T09:40:00.000-05:00

I've decided to start putting the topic in the heading. Mostly for me. You're welcome.

This week's lesson, word, what have you is one that was just pretty much laid on my heart. I'll share with you the sequence of events as it happened to me.

I read this verse today about a "childlike heart":

Mark 10:15
Truly I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.

Translation: Adults... get over yourselves.

That sounds harsh, but that is exactly what I see in this verse. I'll put it into a day to day interaction for you.

My son loves me. He thinks I am amazing. When he is upset, he wants me to hold him. He loves to play with me. He comes to me when he is hungry. He wants me to hold him when he is hurt or sick. When he accomplishes something new, he wants me to know about it first.

And that is what God wants from us. God should be the first person we go to when we are upset, hungry, thirsty, hurt, or sick. We should celebrate with God first when we accomplish something new and exciting. We should spend time with God not only when we need something or have something to be excited about, but also, just because He is our Father.

Which brings me to forgiveness.

This part was just laid upon my heart because I am so guilty of this.

When I tell Sam "No", it makes him mad. He cries and sometimes has a fit. But within 5 minutes, he is showing me something he found under the couch. He forgives just as quickly as he gets mad.

Why don't adults do this?

I know why. Because we are jaded. We are sick and tired of people treating us badly, repeatedly doing the same things to us. Or we are baffled at how moronic some people can be. And, how did they even think any of that was okay?

Have you caught yourself saying this...

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Or how about this one...

They may have gotten away with it this time, but they will never cross me again!

We are all guilty of thinking these things, professing these things, even preaching these things. And yet, that is not what God wants from us.

Just as we should have faith like a child, we should forgive like a child.

There isn't a verse in the Bible that I know of that tells us being angry is a sin. It is what you do with that anger that is the problem.

So when people anger you, be mad. But be quick to forgive. Forgive like our Father forgives us.

Do you not think Jesus was not treated badly while on Earth? And yet, he forgave. Every time.

Do you not think Jesus is steal treated badly even unto this day? Even after all He has done for the world? And yet, he forgives still. Every time.

Matthew 6:15
But if you refuse to forgive others, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Luke 17:4
Even if that person wrongs you seven times a day and each time turns again and asks forgiveness, you must forgive.

I urge you to let go of the unforgiveness in your heart right now. Seek the strength from your Father if you find yourself holding on.

Happy Tuesday!

Testimony Tuesday

2011-04-05T16:00:00.000-05:00

This week's Testimony Tuesday has been a bit of a struggle.

After a lot of thinking/praying/meditating/obsessing over it, God kind of led me to share a personal story this week.

Last semester, I was struggling with my job. Not in a "I hate my job" kind of way, but in a "I can't seem to get ahead! Why can't I get anything done! I'm failing at my job!" kind of way.

I had these thoughts for several weeks and it seemed like I was constantly working and just not getting anywhere.

One of my staff members randomly showed up in my office one day to ask how I was. I was honestly fine. There was nothing going wrong that day, I hadn't been upset that day... everything really was fine.

So I told her that. She then proceeded to shut my door and tell me that God had a message for me.

To say I was confused would be a massive understatement. I actually thought to myself, "She must be mistaken. There's nothing going on right now."

But, she went on. She opened with a prayer. Then she took me by the hand and proceeded to tell me the following (I have left out A LOT because it just isn't pertinent to the message today.)

God wants you to know that you have been placed here at UALR for a reason. You have supernatural strength in family, harmony, and compassion. God opened up this place for you here to utilize those strengths.

God wants you to know that you are not failing at your job. There are evil spirits in this office trying to distract you and discourage you from fulfulling your mission for Christ.

God also wants you to know that when you feel those nudges from Him to pray with students, that He is providing the protection for you and stop ignoring Him. He knows you are leery of mixing work and religion but He will protect you and is providing you these opportunities.

Your office has been established as a place of peace. Sometimes people find themselves here not understanding exactly why they came.

As I said earlier, she went on diving into some really personal information that I honestly didn't even realize was an issue until she gave me God's message. I cried and cried and cried. And I was so encouraged.

I know everyone doesn't get that sort of message from God. I truly believe God communicates to people in many different ways depending on the person's needs at the time. And as I stated earlier, I didn't have the foggiest idea that I needed that.

What is my point in all of this? Other than... look how great God is!?

Spiritual warfare is real. It is kind of a taboo topic to talk about. But who am I to avoid a taboo topic?

We prayed together that day and rebuked the spirits from my office. I was then told this would be a constant battle because of the work God is doing at my job. Every day I am to come into my office, pray, rebuke any spirits, and go on about my day. And I am telling you, it has worked.

People do find themselves in my office for no apparent reason. They have since I've worked here. I just chalked it up to, "Well I'm pretty awesome. Who can blame them?"

Turns out, I am awesome, but that's not necessarily why they are coming. And I'm only awesome because God made me that way. Ask anyone, before I was seeking God, I wasn't a whole big hoopla of fun to be around. At least, "peaceful" wasn't a way to describe the experience.

---------------LONG PAUSE-----------------------------

The long pause was to denote a break in this blog post where I had a conversation with a friend. This friend has been searching for a mission opportunity for a while now. And was so very excited about an opportunity that recently presented itself. She had time to get really excited about it, only to find out she didn't qualify for that particular opportunity.

And this broke her heart. She was terribly upset about this "lost" opportunity. And she had just recently come around to begrudgingly trusting God and letting go of her disappointment.

Enter today. Today, I hung out with her for lunch, and we worked together on some things, and were working on some things via chat and I just got this sense that she was struggling. I couldn't put my finger on it, and she insisted she was fine (which she tells me when she isn't so I believed her).

All of the sudden God had a message for her through me. I typed it. It was simple:

God is telling you to trust Him fully. He has an experience beyond your imagination planned for you.

Now, to reiterate, to my knowledge, she had given her trust back to God and accepted that the "opportunity" wasn't the right one.

She cried. And cried. And realized she wasn't trusting God. And it was a beautiful moment to her. I'm so thankful for that.

Even as I type, God is revealing to me that evil spirits were bringing her down. That is the thing with the devil. He will use anything, even Godly matters, to bring down someone on their mission for Christ. Anything!

So while you may think I sound crazy, but I assure you, spiritual warfare is real. Is it something you are struggling with? When you feel frustrated for no reason? When you can tell something just isn't right and you don't know what?

The devil is scared of God given talents and missions. And he will use everything in his power to keep you from using those talents and completing those missions.

When you find yourself caught in this struggle, stop and pray. And pray hard. I was told once that when rebuking spirits, you have to be loud because they are hard of hearing. I think that just draws up the passion. But do it.

A few verses for encouragement:

Luke 10:19-20 "Look, I have given you authority over all the power of the enemy, and you can walk among snakes and scorpions and crush them. Nothing will injure you. But don't rejoice because evil spirits obey you; rejoice because your names are registered in heaven."

Romans 8:38 "And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God's love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow-not even the powers of hell can separate us from God's love."

Happy Tuesday!

Testimony Tuesday

2011-03-29T14:28:00.000-05:00

I love God's timeliness with messages to me.

First, I would like to confess something to all my lovelies out there on the interwebs.

I do not read my Bible every day. I, in fact, rarely read my Bible.

This is a constant struggle for me for a couple of reasons.

1) Finding time. It is not a struggle for me to find the time to read. While I'm fully awake, I know, rationally, that I could get up 30 minutes early and get my daily word in. And then that time comes. And immediate gratification by staying in the warm bed under the covers just outweighs getting up.

2) Sleepiness. When I wake up, reading is not the first thing I want to do. I'm still sleepy and I struggle to stay concentrated enough to absorb the message. And after I'm done... I want to go back to bed.

3) Comparing myself to others. I am a competitive person by nature which means I can make anything a competition. But competition tends to just be an incessant game of comparing myself to others. And what do I get? I don't measure up to those that are actually reading their Bibles everyday. So I constantly beat myself up over it, tell myself I'll get up in the morning, then I don't and instead stay under the covers, then I feel guilty... you see my process.

And lo and behold! God got on to me for this.

I know. You're shocked.

So for today's lesson in "Rikki get your act together then share it with the world because they too are struggling with it, I just know it":

Galatians 4: 5-6

Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, 5 for each one should carry their own load. 6 Nevertheless, the one who receives instruction in the word should share all good things with their instructor.

I recieved this word through a series of events I won't bore you with now. But, I did have this urge to read the Bible. I mean, I needed it. Almost like you are thirsty for water. (If you've had that feeling too, and wonder why you are weird, it is because God has a message for you. Funny how that works.)

So I open my Bible and decide I need to skim through Galatians. Well Galatians is short but it packs a wallup. Go read it. You'll see.

I ended up reading the entire book. Before you get all impressed, it is 6 chapters long. One chapter of Harry Potter took longer to read.

But when I got to Chapter 6: 4-5, I actually giggled out loud. Justin thought I was crazy.

But how many of you are guilty of it? Constantly comparing yourself to others... and getting one of two results:

1) Not measuring up, effectively stirring the cycle of low self-esteem/failure.

2) Becoming prideful. (Because let's face it, you'd never be like THAT person.)

I know I struck a nerve with that last one. Because you didn't think that was coming.

Both of these ways are sinful. And keep us from the joy of God. And if you know me, you know how awful I am in both of these areas.

But what God shared with me and continues to reveal to me as I meditate on these verses, is that to compare ourselves to others and stack ourselves against them is only telling God that we aren't pleased with His creation. That we don't trust Him that we are beautiful creatures of Christ, just as the other people are.

I'm reminding myself constantly now that God made me who I am for a reason. I may not be a great housekeeper and I may not be a marathon runner and I may be just a bit snarky at times... but dammit... I'm beautiful and I have so many God given talents that my "shortcomings" don't matter. So why continue to let them hold me back?

I'll pursue my relationship with God at my pace and I'll leave it between me and God if it is good enough.

I'll put my confidence in God that my son is developing on time for his life and stop making sure he is still "ahead" in these areas and not "behind" in those.

I'll embrace my strengths at work and use my God given talents to make the differences God gave me the strength to make without bringing myself down with what I don't do well.

I'll love others just as God taught me too and stop pointing out to myself how I'm better at them that this but worse than them in that.

And I'll mess it up. Because I'm human. And I serve a forgiving God that will work with me to get back on track.

Isn't that great? Happy testimony Tuesday!

Blogging from phone: Take one.

2011-03-23T17:30:00.002-05:00

Taking down wallpaper just may be the stuff hell is made of. We thought we'd be done today. We were wrong. Just when I thought I couldn't curse the bastard that put that mess up any more, I get into the master bathroom.

Sailors haven't experienced thoughts as unholy as mine as I continue to steam and scrape my life away. Cranky doesn't begin to describe my mood right now.

But on a higher note, we are going to end up with one kick awesome (thats for you Mr. Allen) bathroom. Our floor/tile guy is amazing and is giving us a really good deal ona really cool concept.

More to come later.

Testimony Tuesday

2011-03-22T15:02:00.000-05:00

God has been telling me for a little while that blogging could be a way to witness to others. Now I do not consider myself an "evangelical Christian," at least by the stereotype anyway, but I do like to live by example and spread my testimony when possible and will make an impact.

This is how "Testimony Tuesday" was born. Expect it every Tuesday. This will be a tool for me to keep on track with the many blessings God has given me and will be a good way to share to those unknown on the interwebs something that may be pertinent to them at the time.

Topic of today: Worry.

I have had ample opportunity to worry over this past year. Having a kid gives you that sort of access. And I have worried. I'd like to say that I haven't but truth hurts sometimes.

I have worried over fevers, and infected eyes, and breastfeeding, and formula, and daycare, and croup, and big ole heads, and specialist appointments, and milestones. Then I've worried about promotions and whether they would happen, buying houses and if we'd find the right one, and if my car would be dependable... There is always something.

As most of you know, my husband struggles with anxiety. He is an amazing man, and I honestly don't tell him that enough, and I am super proud of him. He has made great strides in his anxiety and to be honest, he has earned the right by human standards to worry (I'll leave it to him to share with you the ins and outs of his official "certificate to worry" he earned in his childhood).

But alas, we are both sinning by continuing to worry. Matthew 6:25-34 clearly states:

25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life[e]?

28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

I challenge you to read that again. And again. Looking back on all the things I have worried about, it was when I finally let them go and gave them completely to God that all of the sudden they worked out.

Sam's big ole head: I knew he was fine. But I allowed the enemy in and doubt began to fester. What if I am wrong? Why does he have to see a specialist? Blah blah blah. And then, one day I gave it to God. I told God that I knew he loved Sam more than I ever could, and since I knew how much I loved him, that I knew there was no way God was going to allow this mess to continue. And I thanked Him for that promise. And it was hard. But I did it. Two days later we were in the pediatrician's office being told he was normal and we no longer needed to see a specialist. Amen? I think so.

Buying a house is a pretty big deal. When we first starting looking, we found this house in a great neighborhood for a great price. But I worried. What if it had problems? Could we afford it? What work needed to be done? Could we afford it? Can my family live on ramen and hot dogs? We looked at this house on two different occasions and on both occasions I would lose sleep at night worrying about it. Neither of those times worked out. We started looking at houses again in January. I made a commitment to not worry about it. We found a house we loved in a neighborhood we loved for a price we loved. We were told it wouldn't work out. Buying directly from the seller never works. This won't work. That won't work. I never worried.

If you know me, you know spending money is a creative way to torture me. It makes me sick, literally. When we bought a car, I darn near threw up right there on the showroom floor. Spending money stresses me out. I have been cool, calm, and collected throughout this buying process.

Until I allowed myself to worry about the roof. And I had a hysterical breakdown, thought about not buying the house because of it... a whole bunch of garb for nothing. What was that? The devil getting his thorny little foot in the door. That's it. You know what? When I decided to not worry about it anymore, all things fell into place. Praise God? I believe so.

We did buy the house. We are working on the house now. It is a beautiful happy home that is going to be home for quite some time. And I love it. And I'm not nervous. I'm excited to go there. I'm excited to make it into exactly what we want. No fear. No worry. Praise God.

So my challenge to you is to release what you are worrying about to God. Right now. If you catch yourself worrying about something (because the enemy will bring pictures of it back to your brain), give it right back to God. It is foolish to continue to lose sleep and worry over even the smallest things all the way to the big things. Because God has already given us His promise that He will take care of us just as He takes care of the birds in the air.

If this is an area you struggle with, I have a small mini book I can email you that has a lot more information in it that is really remarkably helpful.

Sam's 14 month old babble

2011-03-21T13:47:00.001-05:00

This post serves nothing more than a milestone marker for me. Sam's 15 month check up is coming up soon and the doctor always asks milestone questions and I always freeze and forget things to mention. So here goes...

Sam is...
walking
standing up without hanging on to something (new development as of today)
waving bye bye
dancing (I cannot describe how precious this is)
building things with big leggos (one of his favorites)

Sam is saying...
Dada
Mama
Paw Paw
Ball
Milk (Mill)
Here
Up
Please
Thank You
Bye Bye (this one we are really good at)
Hi (while pretending to be on the phone)
Night Night (ni ni)
Amen (min)

Note on his personality:

This boy is so giving. I have made mention of this before (he loves sharing his cheerios with mama and dada). But he is so much more giving than I have seen any other kid be. He will take a break from eating to offer you food. He will stop playing to bring you a toy. He will chase you down in the house to share his food with you. He goes above and beyond.

The other day, a kid at daycare who is a few months older than Sam wanted something to drink. His drink wasn't in the room at the time but Sam had one. Unprompted, Sam stopped drinking his and offered it to the other little boy.

Words cannot express how thankful I am that he is already showing his generosity. This is something we pray for every night. Every night before bed we pray for a number of things, but one is that God continues to lead his mama and dada to raise him into a compassionate and wise young man. With that comes generosity.

I'm such a proud mama.

Our Adventures in Mysterious Croup/Virus/Radiator Thingies

2011-03-19T08:26:00.000-05:00

Our story begins Sunday night (that is almost a full week ago).

Sunday night, I kept hearing Sam on the monitor waking up. I was wondering what the deal was but we negligent to get up because if he knows you are awake, there is no way in hell is going back to sleep. But then he starts making noises that I had never heard before so I got up and went in.

He was struggling so hard to breath. He had the "barking like a seal" cough but it was accompanied by deep wheezing and obvious struggling to breath. This ranks right up there with one of the scariest moments of my life. Thankfully I had been warned by the lovely Susan Mack (best babysitter ever!) so I knew to go outside in the cold air as fast as I could get us there. I grabbed a blanket and out we went.

He started breathing a lot better and when he was no longer making "noise" to breath, I brought him back inside and he got to sleep with me and Justin the rest of the night. 14 months old and the first time he has EVER slept in our bed. We held out as long as we could.

The next day we take him to the doctor, but not our "OMGTHEBESTDOCTORSINCETHATONETHATINVENTEDPENICILLIN" but "justanotherdoctorthatworksintheclinic". She agreed he had croup, gave him two days of steroids and said he should be a lot better in a few days.

Monday night: Sleeps a little better. Ended up in bed with us again. (I liked it. A lot.)

Tuesday: Coughed a lot but I no longer got him confused with a seal performing for fish. Progress.

Tuesday night: Slept in his crib all night. Only woke up to fuss a bit.

Wednesday: Coughed a lot. Sounds really rattly. Scared the babysitter. I left work early to go get him. He was playing and acting fine. (More on Wednesday later).

Wednesday night: Slept in his crib all night. Barely woke up at all.

Thursday: Still making weird noises making us think we are not getting better and he may be struggling. Decided to steam the hell out of him and if no improvement go to the doctor the next day (doctor agreed b/c he is amazing and talks to us on his personal cell even on his days off... seriously, other than the penicillin guy... this one is the best).

Thursday night: Slept all night without waking at all.

Friday morning: Woke up making the same noises from the previous days. We go to the doctor. Dr. Amazing takes xray and says we are clear of anything major, most of the noise is from his nose and all that mucusy mess. But he has a "raging ear infection."

Am I surprised by this raging ear infection? Nope. He has been a mucus factory for the last three days, he is cutting at least 5 teeth right, if not more, and that is not exaggerating, and he has been sick since Sunday. So lots of antibiotics are in our future. Cool.

He is still rattly this morning but at least I know now that we should be on the upswing. Dr. Amazing is not convinced this is croup now because it isn't following the right pattern. What likely happened is he started with croup, steroids took care of it but another upper respiratory virus took over and here we are.

Now let's travel back to Wednesday, or as I like to refer to it, the day Satan tried to take over. I went to the new house (we closed on a house btw) to show someone we were going to hire to take down the wallpaper. He looks at it, gives me a bid, says it was going to take 6-7 days to complete. I am thinking "totally worth the money because taking down wallpaper sounds like a creative way to torture me for state secrets."

Then I leave. I'm on Shackelford turning on to Financial Parkway (for those not from Little Rock, literally the busiest intersection in Little Rock) and my car starts smoking. I look down and I am running hot. In the red hot.

HOLY SHIT! That's exactly what I thought. I turned the car off and turned on my flashers just hoping someone doesn't plow into to me. And I commence bawling like a baby. I am certifiably hysterical. I tried to call my mechanic (who is our maintenance guy at work but he seems to have adopted me and my car troubles as he put in a new radiator the week before because I had a hole in mine). I can't get a hold of anyone, my car won't start now because it is too hot, I'm praying someone doesn't hit me.... it was quite stressful. Finally after the nice man behind me came to check on me, the car starts and I can move it from the charging cars and angry Little Rock people.

I pull over in a bank off of Financial Parkway and one of my lovely co-workers comes to get me. And she brought the mechanic! What is the major problem?

The hose clamp went bad. That's it. That is a max $5 fix. THANK GOD!

I was able to get the appreciation lunch purchased and back to work. Then the babysitter called and was worried about Sam. I had another mental breakdown (because I can't handle much more) and decide to go get him. I get there and he is fine, just making the same noise he has for the last three days. I am convinced this was just God giving me the rest of the day off because He knew I needed it.

And I had to call and tell the wallpaper guy that we were going to do it ourselves. After the car scare, I really need to save that money to get the car to a dependable point that I don't get stranded on the interstate on the way to work.

So look forward to lots of before and after shots of the house. COMING SOON!

Diaper Cream Analysis and Invention

2011-03-07T20:38:00.000-06:00

(I'm so one of those uncool mothers... as if it weren't official before..."

My son has his first go round with the "omg... flesh eating diarrhea turned my booty to pepperoni pizza sans the cheese!" virus. You are welcome for the pretty accurate description.

He has had diaper rash before. Nothing compared to this demon though. Let me give you the "before" thoughts on diaper cream.

1.) Desitin STINKS! Literally and figuratively. I have no idea why people buy it. It smells awful. It sticks to your hands much better than it sticks to the baby's booty. And... well other than covering the redness for the full 10 seconds it lasts, I have no idea what it is actually supposed to do.

2.) Butt paste. I have to admit, when I went shopping for it, I giggled a lot. I'm totally the mom that would jump on the "butt paste" wagon just to be able to say "butt paste is the best!" And I really wanted it to be true. Turns out, it doesn't stink as badly as Desitin. Works a little bit better than Desitin. But sticks to the booty about as long. Not worth the money. My honest opinion about why it is so popular... If it is called "butt paste" it appeals to our junior high selves and let's be real, its more fun to buy. Whoever marketed this is genius. I'm thinking of inventing a lip balm that is called "Baby Butt Lips". You'd buy it. Don't act like you wouldn't.

3.) Balmex. In my opinion, the best over the counter there is. This stuff is a bit harder to rub onto the tiny tushee... but guess what? It sticks! And what now? It gets rid of the diaper rash! HOLD. THE. PHONE. You mean it does what it advertises that it should do?! Remarkable.

This brings us to Friday. Balmex rocks. All others fail miserably.

Then the pepperoni pizza booty enters the game. My son is screaming in agony as I poor cold water over his bottom. No wipes. Just water. That hurt him. Tear my heart out and play soccer with it. OMG

So... I thought, $40 copay for the after hours clinic is SO WORTH the prescription Nystatin (sp... dunno... don't care... wanted it). So we go.

And while waiting, my son goes all exorcist on me and I leave in two hospital gowns (one for the front... one for the back... no one wants to see anything I've got hidden underneath) and Sam in a "Arkansas Children's Hospital" onesie. Oh... and we got the prescription.

You can only give the cream 4 times a day. We follow directions. He had diarrhea at least 12,456 times that day. Does. Not. Compute.

So what's a girl to do for the other 12,452 diaper changes? (The math is right. Trust me.)

Enter Rikki. You see Vaseline has lots of great qualities... namely keeping the putrid mustard gas filled diarrhea from contacting already sensitive skin.

But it doesn't "heal." My trusty Balmex does.

You know what else does? Hydrocortizone cream.

A couple of spoonfuls of Vaseline. A couple of spoonfuls of Balmex (Skip the tube. Get the small tub of Balmex. It is worth it.) And a squirt or two of Hydrocortizone cream. Stir that around with a butter knife (or something else more genius) and VIOLA! Stamps out pepperoni butt.

Of course, the Nystatin played its vital role. But I slathered the other stuff on there like I was buttering a roll on Thanksgiving and MAN! Did I ever see much improvement!

That is all for my tails of butt creams, rubs, ointments, and salves.

Let the arguing ensue... I know there are die hard people out there who support the "lesser-than" diaper creams. This is just my experience.

The Little Things in Life

2011-03-03T16:19:00.000-06:00

I'm feeling rather emotional at the moment. I found out last month that one of my dear friends (Who lives far away and I haven't actually spoken with in months... but one that I will always consider "dear" regardless of life circumstances) has stage 3 brain cancer. She is my age and one of the most beautiful people inside and out that you will ever have the pleasure of meeting.

I've spent the last 45 minutes or so catching up on her blog. She uses her blog as an outlet and a way to manage her perspective. Anyway, just the thought of how real life gets just all of the sudden did a number on my emotions.

I have to say, being a mother in general has done a number on my emotions. There are so many times (and this really could be daily) that I just watch him doing the simplest things and I want to cry. Just because I'm so proud of him being so wonderful. How can one little human be that wonderful?

For instance, this morning, he didn't feel good. It was apparent he wasn't his normal jolly self. He wanted to be held and carried around, but I had to get ready somehow. So I got him a bowl of cheerios and his sippy cup of milk and sat him in the floor. He looked so happy (of course! it was food!) and I thought to myself, "What is ten minutes? I can sit and play for ten minutes..." So I did.

As we were sitting in the floor, he grabbed a handful of cheerios (he doesn't understand one at a time quite yet) and started to shove them all in his mouth. I said, "Sam, can momma have some cheerios?" And he continued shoving them in his mouth. I said, "So momma can't have one?"

This sweet little angel looked at me, spit some cheerios into his hand, and offered them to me.

How sweet is that?! He is a ripe bold 13 months old and wanted to share his cheerios so bad with his momma that he spit them out and offered them. I laughed and laughed. And politely declined.

We spent the rest of the time feeding each other cheerios. He was intent upon feeding them to me so I was equally intent on feeding them to him.

Back to the full circle of things, it breaks my heart to think Danielle may never get to experience moments like this. I feel comfortable typing my true feelings because if you know Danielle, you know she prefers candidness and full disclosure. She is such a strong person, if there is one person to kick this crap in the bunghole it will be her. She'll do it.

But she fully understands her diagnosis and odds. And my heart hurts for her all the way down here in Arkansas. And just reading about her story has put so many things in perspective for me today. I was offered the chance to go feed the homeless tonight with my church. And I'm going to. Me, Justin, and Sam are going to go share a little moment with some amazing people.

If you are a praying person, go ahead and add my sweet friend to your list. I promise she is just as amazing as I have described.

If you aren't a praying person, get on board. You are missing out on something amazing.

Update from the Turners

2011-03-01T10:14:00.000-06:00

It has been a while since I updated and that is for good reason. Things are crazy busy at work, I've been traveling for work, and we are in the process of buying a house. Lots to do!

Oh yeah, and Sam started walking. That was pretty great! I was convinced the kid was going to wait until I started my week long adventure away from home but he started walking about 3 days before I left. But when I left, he was just okay at it. Now? Lordy! He still falls but its only when he gets excited. I left town with a baby and came back to a toddler! And I'm convinced he grew an inch while I was gone too. That sounds like I'm exaggerating but the kid could walk underneath our desk when I left and when I got back it was hitting him in the forehead when he tried!

So... work: It is so close to official that it hurts but I will be moving to an Assistant Director for Residence Life position at UALR effective July 1. I AM SO EXCITED! Seriously, it is ridiculous how excited I am. But I currently work at a small department and that means, if I want the promotion, I get to start working on it long before the pay increase takes place. This is totally fine with me (hello job security!) and this job is everything I love about my current job and more.

Oh... and I get to move OUT and into MY OWN HOUSE! Not that I don't love my current situation but I want so badly for Sam to have a yard and space to play inside as well. We close on this lovely house on March 15. Say a prayer for me! This house is down the road (just the right distance away) from Sam's grandma and papa. It is also down the road from a park. Wonderful neighborhood and right down the road from the softball fields (this is excitement for momma more than anyone).

And let me take a minute to tell you of the sweet wonders that are Sam. Seriously, this could be the sweetest kid ever. When he is ready for bed, it becomes apparent just because of how much he slows down. So I say, "Night night Sam?" and he'll say, "Nih nih". So I get him ready for bed, brush his teeth, and read him a book. Then I say, "Tell daddy night night." And most of the time he says, "Nih nih," waves, and tries to give Daddy a kiss. Then we go into his room and stand by his crib to pray. Before we pray he lays his head down on my shoulder. When I'm done praying, I say, "Amen." and most of the time he says, "min." Then he lays down in his crib, I cover him up, and say night night. And he doesn't fuss at all. Just goes to sleep.

How. Freaking. Precious!

Melt my heart Mr. Turner. Melt my heart.

And a video I may or may not have shared...

A few fun videos of the boy

2011-02-02T14:19:00.000-06:00

This one if of Sam rocking himself on the ottoman...

This is Sam's first bite of fudgesicle... and his tongue going numb...

Sam loves to be scared. He finds it hilarious.

Rollercoaster Post... Keep all hands and feet inside the cart!

2011-01-28T12:57:00.001-06:00

You are in for a ride. You'll laugh, you'll cry, your jaw will drop... seriously comment if you don't experience all of these things while reading. And it is a long one. You may cry out of torture.

I told everyone I had an appointment for Sam's big fat head. I wasn't going to share it. I will now. It is February 8 at 9:15 am. Or so I thought.

My WONDERFUL (not sarcastic... seriously wonderful) pediatrician's nurse called me yesterday afternoon to make sure I had finally gotten my appointment time. I thanked her and told her I did find out just Wednesday. To be safe, I wanted to make sure we had the same time. She said, Feb. 8 9:15am. I said yes. Then she goes on to say, "And the CT scan is at 3:30pm."

Ummm... WHAT?! So that's what I said. "Umm what CT scan?" Of course, my nurse doesn't know, she is just giving me the information they gave her. Not me. They gave my pediatrician's nurse the information concerning exposing my child to radiation. Not me.

I'm pissed.

So... I dial as fast as my fingers would dial the neurosurgeon's office. I ask for a nurse. I'm told I can't speak to them, they'll have to call me back. I then ask receptionist how they conveniently left out that I had another appointment that same day and that it involved a CT scan. She says,"Well CT scans are just protocol." I don't give a flying squirrel's crap what protocol is, you haven't even seen him yet! I tell her this in no uncertain terms and she says, "Well they will get you in sooner than 3:30pm".... like my problem here is that my afternoon will now not be filled with unicorns and rainbows... UNNECESSARY RADIATION IS MY CONCERN HERE! MA'AM!

After several times of me repeating myself, crying, shaking, wanting to vomit... she finally gets it. And she says to me... "Well ma'am, you would want to know if something is wrong with your baby. You wouldn't want to miss something just because you were afraid of a little radiation would you?"

Yes she did. She went there.

I then kindly explained to her that while she may do this everyday, it isn't her son she's doing it to, and I could give a rat's ass what they do every day, how little radiation it is, or whose left butt cheek I have to kiss to get some answers, but until someone gave me an actual reason other than "puppy" protocol (Puppy is my nice word to replace the mean one's I really want to say) then my son was not having one done.

Before you guys think I've really lost my mind here, put yourself in my shoes. Sam's grandpa died of a brain tumor... BRAIN TUMOR. Both of Sam's grandmas have blood cancer. He has one grandparent who has not had cancer of some sort. He has two great grandparents who have not died or at least had cancer of some sort.

He has two parents with fat heads. He has no symptoms of hydrocephalus except for said fat head.

Anyone else seeing that this CT scan is a big waste of time and much more of a risk than his freaking fat head?! Anyway...

It is at this time she offers to let me speak to a nurse. Funny, I think I asked for that 20 minutes ago.

She comes back on the line to tell me the nurse is busy and her advice is just to come see the neurosurgeon at 9:15 and express my concerns to him. I ask if she can leave a number for the nurse to call me back b/c I'm not coming until someone explains this to me. She says... wait for it... "Well I can but I can tell you right now she won't call you back."

THEN WHAT THE PUPPITY PUP IS SHE DOING WORKING IN PEDIATRICS?!!!?!?!?!

I am a hysterical mother, pissed beyond belief, concerned for the welfare of my melon-headed son, and you are going to intentionally leave me hanging?! Go work for geriatrics... their parents are dead, you don't have to call them back.

So I gingerly hung up, my BFF is trying to help anyway she can (but doesn't know how b/c I've lost my friggin mind), my husband walks in, I fill him in and he asks for Dr. Pediatrician's number.

Our pediatrician ROCKS and gives us his personal cell phone number. Justin calls. Dr. P calls back and says, "No that is ridiculous. There is no reason for CT scan yet, they haven't even seen them. Come in tomorrow morning and I'll measure both of your heads and do a plot and see if any of this is necessary."

He did remind us this is NOT his expertise, but he'd do his best b/c he's not okay with unnecessary radiation either.

We go in this morning... Sam's head is big as always. My head is big. And Justin's head is GINORMOUS (quoted from Dr.P ...love him).

If you know your statistics, for something to be statistically significant, you have to have at least two standard deviations. My head was 2.5 standard deviations above normal for my age. Justin's was FOUR! BAHAHAHAHAHA... he's a fat head.

But guess what? So is my son! And me too... but just not to the extent they are. So... moral of the story is... Fat heads just run in our family! No neurologist appointment (which is really good for them too if you think about it... I was not happy with them)! Dr. P is just going to keep a close watch on it and we'll go from there.

YAY FAT HEADS! I think we'll all be pumpkin-heads for Halloween this year. I love irony.

Wordless 2nd Post on Thursday (except for captions)

2011-01-27T07:42:00.000-06:00

(Sam's birthday cake)

(Sam's makeshift bath after said birthday cake)

(Sam's nap after birthday party... someone was pooped!)

(Sam's first snow he could play in... but didn't)

(Snow again, but with Daddy)

(But I want in the kitchen... not in JAIL!)

(This is what happens when you leave a plate of food unattended around a 1 year old. Stuff gets ATE!)

The End is in Sight!

2011-01-27T07:27:00.000-06:00

For all those wondering (or not wondering), I finally have an appointment for Sam at the Neurosurgeon.

Yup... Neuro SURGEON! Yick. That's gross.

I assure I am still not "worried." I feel like my level of worry for this situation is actually quite low. For most parents in this situation it would consume their thoughts, they'd be on edge and depressed, and their lives would be very much affected until they knew.

The first day we found out I was a wreck. I cried a lot. A LOT. I couldn't talk about it. I couldn't talk about much. And believe it or not, all of that was going on not because I was worried about him, but just because we have to go through this to in all likelihood find out what we already know:

He has a big head. I don't need to go to a neurosurgeon to find that out.

But apparently I have to go to find out he is normal and doesn't need brain surgery? Again... I don't need to. I just have to now. So it is almost like I'm being forced to worry about something that I cannot make myself worry about. I know my son. He's fine.

Sooo... after that first day, I got my act together. It still consumes my thoughts, but only when I truly have nothing else to think about. Like now, when I forced myself to blog.

I'm not posting the actual day of the appointment to the general world. My thoughts on this:

1. I don't want to be nagged for answers. If nagging worked, I would have had this appointment two weeks ago when this crap started. All things happen in due time.

2. I don't want to flirt with the devil. I like to play it rather safe. If I give the date, it is like telling everyone "Hey, when this date comes around, ask me lots of questions assuming everything is okay and then we'll see how I answer you." It is a scary thought, but if we do get bad news, I'd like to have my time to handle it before I go out telling the world unprepared.

3. Really that's it. I don't like to be nagged and I don't want to count my chickens before my eggs hatch.

I will say that the appointment is sooner than I thought it would be so the end is in sight. I cried tears of relief when I found out I had an appointment. Being a mom is weird LOL.

Random Update

2011-01-24T10:40:00.000-06:00

Disclaimer: This post will sound like I'm all down in the dumps. I'm not. Trust me.

This update is just to let you know that I still exist, my family is doing great, all is well in the world. It is just that every time I go to update, my mind goes straight to the neurosurgeon, are they gonna do brain surgery thing. And I don't want to talk about that. But as it turns out, that is what consumes my mind when I am not sufficiently distracted (by life, work, playing with Sam, etc.).

So forgive me, but I'll probably be MIA on here for while. I'm not worried. I truly believe Sam will be fine and is fine currently. I have no appointment yet. It's been 19 days since someone told me my child might have brain surgery but no one gives an elephant poop about it enough to call me and let me know when we might find out. If you get a chance, pray for the nurses in charge of making this appointment. Trust me, they'll need it.

Specialists Stink

2011-01-11T15:20:00.000-06:00

Specialists don't really stink. Having to take your baby to them does. Big time.

Sam had his one year old appointment today. Every appointment we have ever had his head has been big. Off the charts big in fact. And I have eyes, I'm well aware that my kid is sporting a melon. But up until this point, it hasn't been concerning. Dr. O has acknowledged that his head is big and always said, "If it doesn't level out pretty soon we may have to have it checked."

Here comes the doom... today when talking about his weight, he is bigger than 95% of boys his age. That has actually come down, we were off the charts there last time too.

He is taller than 75% of boys his age. That is right around where he has been the last couple of times.

Then there is the matter of his head... Dr. O said, "Well his head is concerning." It is at this point I know this conversation is going nowhere but south and fast.

Dr. O explains that while Justin and I have big heads ourselves, we still need to have it checked because he could be having a problem processing the cerebral fluid that the brain naturally makes and this could be causing his head to be bigger.

This is when I started to cry. Dr. O felt really bad for making me cry, but stuck with his story (which I appreciate). Basically, the likelihood of something being wrong is really small, but in the event that this is the 1 child out of 1000 that have this problem, he'd hate to wait any longer and risk damage being done.

So... Sam has to go see a neurologist now. Bleck. The thought makes me want to throw up. I'm afraid when the day of the appointment comes I may actually throw up.

To clarify: I fully, 100% believe that he is fine. I have a melon-head myself. So does his big-headed daddy. When he was born, the nurse said, "Look at that pumpkin-head!" He was doomed from birth (and thank God for c-sections BTW)!

The thing that makes me cry and makes my stomach want to invert is that I AM TAKING MY CHILD TO HIS SECOND SPECIALIST IN A YEAR! And he is healthy! It is infuriating!

And don't get me wrong, I'm down with the better safe than sorry mentality. I love Sam's pediatrician with an unnatural love. But dammit... just the thought of taking your son to a NEUROLOGIST to see if he is RETAINING FLUID IN HIS BRAIN which would mean BRAIN SURGERY... yup, just threw up a little.

So if I seem off for the next month or so... not quite myself... just pray for Sam and take no offense... I've got some stuff on my pumpkin-headed mind.

Muh Babyee Iz WUN!!! WAHHHH!

2011-01-05T12:25:00.000-06:00

Ok maybe that was dramatic. But my baby is one today. And it is amazing and sad and wonderful and unbelievable.

I keep recounting the events of this day last year. It is so funny now. I remember my water "breaking" (nothing like what I was told it would be like) and me not knowing that was happening, and me not mentioning it to my husband, and me going back to sleep... and finally getting up a few hours later and flittingly mentioning it to my sister... who through some investigation found out my water had broken...

Still wasn't convinced... finally called the doctor (we are at a full 4 hours now after water had broken)... patiently waiting their call back... about the time I go to work I get a call that tells me to go to the hospital and get checked... still don't call husband... nurse confirms water broke... still don't call husband... Around noon I finally ask the nurse if I should call family... she acts weird about it... I rephrase the question to "Am I having a baby today?" She says yes. I finally call my husband.

I was CONVINCED this was a false alarm. I was scared to death of a c-section basically my entire life. When they tell me I have to have a c-section... I was like, "Ok, sounds good." It didn't hit me that I had a baby until I was in the room with him alone, after all the family had gone home.

So in order to not repeat myself too much from previous posts, I will share some super cute videos of my now one year old son.

This video is of Sam insisting upon sharing his bottle with me. Warning: there is a considerable amount of sound interference with it. It isn't terrible but slightly annoying.

This video is one of two parts (you'll get both). Sam finds sneezing hilarious. Just watch...

Those videos crack me up!

As of one year, my son can:

Army crawl
Regular crawl
Stand supported
Pull up on things
Walk supported
Push a walker (lion thing)
Say: Dada, mama, pawpaw, ball, bye bye, thank you, and huh?
Point
Wave

He also completely knows what "no" means and is already a charmer. When he gets into something he isn't supposed to (Wii games for instance), you say, "NO SAM!" and he looks at you, then grabs one, hands it to you, and grins really big, as if to say, "But I was getting it for you..." Such a charmer.

We are also officially quitting the bottle. He has no attachment issues so I forsee no problems. The babysitter took it away during the day yesterday and he never missed a beat. I replaced the morning bottle this morning with a sippee and he just took longer eating. No biggie.

He is also into a new phase of NO MORE BABY FOOD! Especially dinners. He wants to feed himself, he wants big kid food to eat for himself, and he is loud about it. It is offensive to offer him baby food. And if he sees you cut it up for him, he doesn't want it. Such a stinker.

Finally, our plans for tonight. Nothing special. He is getting a present from momma and daddy tonight, and probably Gena too (she's family too). He is getting cupcakes at daycare today because he is so loved there and they insist on making them. The real party is Saturday. I'll post lots of pictures when the time comes.

Dear Sam,

You are one year old today. I'm trying really hard to teach you to hold up one finger when someone asks you how old you are. You are unimpressed with doing this as of now. I love your little personality. You are such a joy. Always smiling, laughing, and being goofy. And you are a goof ball! No doubt about it.

When you woke up this morning, your fat little leg was stuck in the crib. You were almost too tired to notice, but when I started to release your leg, you cried some. I felt bad for you and picked you up and you immediately went back asleep on my shoulders.

We went to lay down on the couch and you slept on me for another hour. It was such a special time for me. Because one year ago exactly, that's how you slept as well. I didn't cry this time, but I never want to forget it.

You are the light of my life and I cannot believe I lived 25 years without knowing you. I love you so much!

Momma

Christmas Break Catch Up

2010-12-30T21:21:00.000-06:00

This may go a bit out of order... I'm fancy like that...

Update on the last two days... Yesterday I come down with a NASTY stomach bug. I quarauntine myself in the back bedroom/bathroom. A few hours later, Justin gets same stomach bug. I call in reinforcements. Mother in law comes over to help us and bring us Gatorade and crackers. Susan (the best babysitter EVER) comes and gets Sam and takes him home with her. Justin and I continue to live in agony.

Hence why I now have time to update. I get stir crazy a bit too easily and I miss my son like CAAARAYYYZZYYYY! So what better way to cure that than to blog about him?

This would be my son's first visit with Santa. He stared like this pretty much the whole time. We finally did get a smiling picture but it isn't as fun as this. I love my little watchful man.

Here he is opening his first Christmas present. He was much impressed with wrapping paper. Minorly impressed with the presents underneath.

Over Christmas break, while at my dad's, my little porker finally figured out how to conjure up his mass of self into a standing position. This is actually the second time he did it. I wasn't quick enough to capture the first time. He is so proud of himself.

I'm sorry... but Christmas bows on babies heads is just precious.

This was also a recurring theme over the break. We were tuckered out.

Him and G are big buddies. G goes around saying, "MAMMY!" and Sam looks at him like he's crazy. And then they play. Spice that up with a little G finding things to use as weapons against Sam and you have their playtime rituals.

Is this not the cutest hat ever?! I think the fat rolls make it better.

This is his official first Christmas photo. Could he be more crammed in that outfit?!

This is my favorite picture from the holidays. Seriously... how cute is he?!

Update for Sam (and you if you must)

2010-12-17T22:57:00.000-06:00

Dear Sam,

Your momma loves you very much but she is VERY bad at recording things. This hit me today that I may start forgetting when you did certain things, so I thought I should go ahead and record what I can remember.

First smile: 3 weeks old
Pushed up on arms: 3 1/2 months old
First laugh: I can't remember, but we have it on video. I think that counts.
First cereal: That's on video too. You liked it. We didn't. You didn't poop for days.
First word: As much as it pains me, "Dada" at about 10 months old. Words to follow were "Mama", "Pawpaw", and "Byebye" with a wave. So cute.
First time to put weight on legs: You did this WAY early... you were like 8 weeks old or something ridiculous. We thought that would mean you would walk early. We were wrong. :-)
First time to crawl: That all depends on the definition. 10 1/2 months old to start army crawling (yup its on video). First time to actually crawl was a little over 11 months old.
First time to pull up: That is so close within reach it is ridiculous. You try so hard but can't quite get it together. You are close though.
First time dancing: SO CUTE! And at 11 1/2 months old.
First real food: It was banana. And you loved it. And we found out today (are at least 95% sure anyway) that you are allergic. You probably had that around 9 1/2 or 10 months old.

There you go. That's what I can remember anyway. I love so much. Words, hugs, and all the ponies in the world could never express how much.

Right now you are asleep in your crib, on your side, on top of the blanket. You are very particular how you sleep, but it changes from night to night. If I don't lay you down right, you grunt, scrunch up your face, and quickly remedy the situation; whether that be to stick your butt straight in the air and put the blanket over your head (my favorite), or roll over on your side and hug the blanket, or to simply turn upside down in the crib and remain on your side, I can garauntee that you will be fervent about getting there.

I love you so much. You have been the biggest blessing your daddy and I could ever have imagined.

Hugs and kisses,

Momma

List of Things I Love

2010-12-17T12:12:00.000-06:00

1) Eggs. I freaking love eggs. My favorite is eggs over medium... but I haven't found an egg today that I don't like. Funny story from childhood (or a story explaining why diets will never be a part of my vocabulary):
My dad was making breakfast for me, my sister, and my two cousins one morning (I don't know where mom was but she wasn't cooking or this wouldn't have been an issue).
Dad asks, "Dale how many eggs do you want?"
I said, "Four."
He said, "What? You can't eat four eggs."
I said, "I do when mom makes them."
He said, "Why don't we start with two and see if you are still hungry."
So I ate my two eggs and looked up at dad and said, "Can I have two more?"

I. Love. EGGS!

2) I LOVE my son's chubby little grin! I know everyone loves their child's smile, but it doesn't take away how much I love his smile! It is because he has a different smile for each aspect of his personality. He has his "You just got on to me but if I grin real big you'll forgive me" smile. He has his "Look at what I can do" smile. He has his "You are so funny" smile. He has his "I am so funny" smile. And finally, and possibly my favorite, the "I'm doing something super cute with mom, but I better look over real quick and make sure dad is watching too" smile. He's all ate up with precious.

3) I love cookies and milk. Like... enough that I have to seriously limit the amount of Oreos and chocolate chip cookies that enter my household. If I don't, I will inevitably have this conversation with myself:

Good self: "You should eat breakfast."
Bad self: "There are Oreos in the cabinet."
Good self: "That is a terrible breakfast idea."
Bad self: "But it would taste so good, and would technically fill me up."
Good self: "And your butt will look like cottage cheese and jello got in a fight."
Bad self: (with cookies shoved in face) "Bu at weest umm habbin miwk fo bwek fas!"

4) Foot and shoulder massages. I could give a good rat's crap about any other type of massage. But rub my feet and shoulders and I'll tell you all my secrets. And give you one of my cookies.

5) Starbucks owns a portion of my soul, I'm sure of it. Seriously, think about it. The owner of Starbucks is a terrorist. He's waiting patiently on all the Americans to spend all their money on coffee (that HAS to have crack in it), develop a dependency, and then BAM! no more delicious Starbucks in my belly, Sarah Palin will be President, and well... who needs bombs and airplanes when all the Americans are going through withdrawals and Purgatory Palin is in office? I mean really?

6) Lastly... sleep! omgomgomgomgomgomgomg... If I am ever President, I'm making naps mandatory. You don't want a nap? You sleep with the fishies.

I have no desire to stay up late talking to you. I'd like to stay up to a reasonable hour, sleep, then continue our conversation in the morning. I have been this way my whole life.

I'd spend the night with my cousins and at some point they'd all wonder, "Where'd Dale go?" They'd find me in bed. Asleep. No amount of playing or scary stories could keep me from my beloved sleep.

Bubby is Back! (Warning: Post is LONG)

2010-12-04T13:29:00.000-06:00

This could go down as one of the hardest weeks of my life. I realize that in the grand scheme of life it could have been much worse... but watching your child not get any nutrition and not being able to do anything about it (while people keep reminding you that you should be worried)... I'm sure that it's my own version of hell. (Like literally... I'm sure that if Satan has me a spot reserved in hell... that's what I'd have to endure).

I'm just going to write in the order that things happened...

Tuesday he was sick all day long basically. And at night he would refuse any liquids. Great. We debated and debated and debated whether he should go to the emergency room. We cried. We prayed. We repeated this cycle. I knew in my gut he was fine. The whole time he has been sick he has played and smiled and giggled. He just won't eat or won't keep it down. At this point, he hadn't wet a diaper in two days. (I dare you to comment on that).

I knew that it was a warning sign of dehydration, but he had gone to the doctor the day before and he told me how to hydrate him and not to worry. I called him Monday night to verify that it was still okay. He said, yes, put him to bed and try again in the morning. He did good eating all day Tuesday but started refusing liquids at night again and still hadn't wet. I couldn't get a hold of his doctor so I called the nurses line. Big. Mistake.

This is not to bash nurses. I loves me some nurses. They save lives and do a thankless job in the mean time. However, the nurses that work the nurses line MUST get commission on every baby they send to the ER. They have to. I realize that not wetting a diaper is a serious thing. I get that. But this lady wouldn't even answer other questions because, "Well I have to tell you that he needs to be seen." And every time I have called the damned nurses line, their advise is "he needs to be seen."

Has he ever needed to be seen right then? No. Not one time. Bitches. (Disclaimer: I know that being sued is a big deal, but to an anxious, worried mom, my worry of you getting sued is pretty freaking low.)

So Wednesday rolls around and he does good all day long. He eats well and keeps it down for the most part. But the afternoon comes by and I got overzealous and fed him a little too much. He threw up. He still hadn't wet. I took him to the doctor.

Doc sees him and says, "he is not dehydrated. He may be on the verge, but he is happy, and smiling, and playing... that is not a dehydrated baby." THANK YOU! I KNEW THAT! IN YOUR FACE FAT LADY NURSE!

I left out a very important part of Wednesday... I have the best babysitter in the world. Want to argue differently? I dare you. I will win. Huzzah to Susan... she rocks.

Susan calls me and says he and her youngest son were coming over to see us. (How sweet is that?! She knew I needed a break, she loves Sam so much she had to see him, and her youngest loves him so much he refers to himself as Sam's uncle or stepdad... depends on the day). So... they came over and Susan says, "Well we are planning on staying until 2 pm so if you need to go do something, go on."

My babysitter kicked me out of my own house... and I loved it. Shut. Up. I win all!

So I go out to my car to go pick out Sam's and Justin's ornaments, and what do I find?! Some thug stole my radio... again. This is twice now. Awesome.

At least they didn't break my windows to get in. Know why? I left the car unlocked. That's right. Because it was such a pain in the butt to fix the window and replace the radio last time I figured just leave the window unlocked and save the window hassle. Know what? I don't regret it. There were at least two other places in the parking lot with shattered glass... they would have taken it either way.

He did pretty good Wednesday night so I made plans to take him to daycare for Thursday. Susan was excited and I was nervous. But he did so good! He threw up once there but it was again because we got cocky with the formula and fed too much at once. Other than that, he did good. AND HE WET HIS DIAPER! Now all the naysayers can back off.

Friday he played hard. HARD! I went to pick him up and he was so tired. Susan told me he was going to go to sleep as soon as we got home. I asked if he didn't sleep well. She said, "Well... we were just having to much fun to nap. He played so hard!"

So alas, my healthy baby boy is back! And I couldn't be happier!

Meanwhile, yesterday I got the house COMPLETELY clean (with the help of one Gena) and I climbed Pinnacle Mountain, to the top, for the first time! This is after 3 tries. Best part of this story? That would be me slipping and falling and instead of just accepting, I tried to grab Gena on the way down. How she managed to not fall is beyond me because I grabbed her sports bra on the way down. Her reply?

"I'M NOT A TREE RIKKI!"

Ohhhh with the vomit

2010-11-29T21:51:00.001-06:00

Bless Sam's little heart. He had his first Thanksgiving... slept good and crappy that night (just terrible!)... then it all went to pot.

We were on our way home Saturday night and what happens? About 10 minutes away from home he pukes... everywhere.

We thought that was weird but no huge big deal. I spent a lot of time that night cleaning vomit out of every nook and cranny that car seat had... but it seemed like a fluke... so we went on...

Yesterday?

Diarrhea and vomit all. day. long. He kept some things down long enough not to worry... but it was gross. Lots of gross.

Today, I thought we were doing good this morning... then SPLAT!

And SPLAT!

And wait... one more... SPLAT!

All before the ripe bold time of 8 am. So I thought to myself, I could call and make him an appoitment. They open at 8:30 am... OR I could load him up and just be there at 8:30 and demand to see my doctor right away.

So we did option B. And might I say, that's the way to go. If you make an appointment its like... 20 or 30 minutes before they get to you. Show up, look concerned, and don't ask for anything, just tell them what you need. You are seen within 10 minutes. Awesome.

Dr. says to give him 1 tsp of formula or Pedialyte every three minutes (yes 3 whole minutes) for an hour. Then for the next hour give 2 tsp... etc until he is doing really good and can handle a bottle.

This went really well. He was up to 2 oz at a time...at one point he had about 6 oz down him and took a nap. All is gravy.

Then momma got cocky. And gave him bananas.

Ever have a "I can't believe I did that?!" moment? Well it happened to me. See, he had his bananas (and was LOVING it... poor kid was hunGRY) but gave it to him in his bouncer seat (you know exersaucer...)

He blew chunks. Then for the rest of the night wouldn't keep anything down.

Formula? There is a great amount of it on my couch and several rounds of clothes.

Pedialyte? Lots of it on my floor and couch and clothes.

His nose? Probably sore as both of the previous ingredients shot projectively through it several times.

He is such a trooper though. Through this whole thing, he has been happy and playful. Momma? Not so much. Momma has cried several times today. And not just *tear*... I'm talking violent sobs.

He was getting tired tonight and not keeping down anything so I broke down and called the doctor (that's right, my child's doctor gives us his cell phone number. What. Up.)

He put my mind at ease. He said to give him a break for the night and start out slow with liquids in the morning.

So, that's where we are. He's sleeping well now. I'll be on the air mattress right beside him. Humidifier is on. Benadryl in his system. It's go time.

P.S. I can't wait to find out what baby Patillo is. Tomorrow is the big day! Yippee!

Things I Don't Understand

2010-11-24T10:58:00.001-06:00

I love lists....

1. Why would anyone ever order fajitas at a restaurant. (Admittedly I have done this but it was at a restaurant that said they had the best ones in the world. They were mistaken. I could have had tacos.) If I am paying for someone to cook my meal for me, what on Earth would I be doing making it at my table. That's like going to a masseuse and asking if I can rub his shoulders. DUMB

2. Why spiders exist. I know... they eat things... blar blar blar. But they just look evil. Anything that looks that evil has to be of the devil.

3. Why Sarah Palin is even being remotely considered to run as president. I mean, a Republican could usurp Obama... I get that... but her?! Really?! She was Governor of ALASKA for a whopping TWO YEARS! How does that even qualify her for a Senate seat... let alone PRESIDENT!? And she was a quitter! And she has verbal diarrhea that only further perpetuates her ignorance! BAH! (I'm all worked up now. Anyone have a valium?)

4. Why heterosexuals are threatened by homosexual marriage. (That's right. I went there.) You can have your own beliefs on whether its right or wrong. But how does it cheapen your marriage at all? Churches don't have to grant them if they don't want to. You don't have to get one if you don't want to. With all the Elizabeth Taylors, Britney Spears, and all the people you know who have gone through divorce after divorce... are we really worried about the homosexuals cheapening marriage? And there sure are a lot of things that are "legal" that aren't biblical... so don't go there please.

5. Why there is braille on my dad's steering wheel. I can semi-understand ATMs... but steering wheel?! Is that on the off chance the non visually impaired driver knows braille as well and doesn't have to look down while driving?! Don't. Get. It.

6. How people don't believe in God. Or better yet, how people do believe in God and continue to ignore it. There isn't a doubt in my mind of His existence so it is really sad when I encounter people who not only don't believe but don't get to feel His presence.

7. Why people put post after post after post on facebook about every little personal detail in their life then another one to complain about people being in their business all the time. We are all smart here... there is a pattern...

8. Why people think because a person is pregnant all social norms are out and you can feel free to assault them.

9. Why anyone watches UmiZoomi. My blood pressure goes up just thinking about it. (If you don't know what I"m talking about... its tiny little people who have sexist super powers. The boy's (dressed in blue)superpower is building anything with shapes. He can build anything. That's super. The girl's (dressed in pink) superpower is... wait for it... her dress can make any pattern.... WTF?!)

10. Why it takes my husband at least 45 minutes of alarm to wake up in the morning. Once is plenty... that sound is obnoxious... GET UP! (love you honey...)

11. Why does Cookie Monster look like he has Mad Cow Disease? His eyes are FAREAKY!

Remission BAY BAY!

2010-11-23T15:10:00.000-06:00

That's right... Mom is in remission! Officially!

I cannot express how thankful and relieved I am at this news. I've cried, I jumped for joy, I've told people who absolutely could not care less about it... and I feel like telling more! Tag you're it!

I got the phone call yesterday that her oncologist called her and told her she was officially in remission. I think she was still in shock. She was expecting the worst (even though he had already seen that no cancer was present in the bone marrow).

Now some of you are thinking, "Rikki, you posted a few weeks back that your mom was cancer free? Why are we so excited about remission?"

For all of those not asking that question... you are done reading now. It only gets confusing from here on out.

Mom's leukemia is caused by two chromosomes switching tails essentially. When they tested her bone marrow and it was "cancer free", it really was, but it didn't tell us if the chromosomes are still out of whack. If they were still out of whack, she wouldn't be cancer free technically because they would still produce the protein (evil little protein) that would still cause the leukemia.

So they ran this really expensive blood test to see if the chromosomes were still there. They were NOT! (Have I mentioned Hallelujah, Praise Jesus, Mighty and Awesome is our God?!)

She still has to take her medicine... but hey, what's a pill everyday right? It is just insurance that she stays in remission.

And... NO MORE BONE MARROW TESTS!

In case you didn't know... that is basically the most painful thing you can experience ever. Childbirth? Nothing compared to this. My mom says that she would have 5 births back to back with no pain killer at all before she'd want to do this again.

The first one she had, they offered her a valium. She declined. One year later, its time to have it done again, and she has several panic attacks and takes 6... SIX valium... and it was still the most painful experience of her life.

So yeah, super excited that I don't have to cuss anymore doctors for hurting my momma.

Flashback to last year at this time...

Mom goes to doctor because she thinks she has pnuemonia. Her blood count comes back suggesting leukemia as well.

Poop.

Is my mom gonna die? How bad is it? Surely its just the pneumonia causing this? Waiting a few weeks feels like eternity.

Hurry the eff up on the tests already.

Phone call: Mom does have leukemia.

I get sick to my stomach and immediately want to cry.

Phone call continued: But its chronic and not acute which means magical pill cures all.

I'm confused... Am I happy or sad mom has cancer?

Phone call continued: It sucks but it sucks way less than it could.

Ok... so I'm happyish that my mom has cancer. This makes me sick to my stomach...

But she doesn't anymore! Prayer works! Believing works! My God heals everything!

Word of the Day on Sesame Street TURMOIL

2010-11-22T09:08:00.001-06:00

No, the word is not turmoil. I'll get more to that later.

Back story: I love Sesame Street. Like, LOVE it. I think it is amazing. Barney... Teletubbies... Do do do do do Dora... they can all suck it. Sesame Street is DA BOMB!

Why? Because they are non-profit-dedicated-to-literacy-even-in-the-worst-parts-of-the-world-awesome. That's why. If you want to know more, contact Amanda Allen and she'll inform you of all their lovelies.

I really want Sam to like Sesame Street. I could go on and on about kids shows that piss me off (UmiZoomi in particular) but I really love Sesame Street.

Sesame Street is NEVER ON when I'm at home with Sam. Or it is and Justin is also here and demands that the Discovery or History Channel has something on that we CANNOT MISS! BAH! (he's not that dramatic. I am. HYPERBOLE MUCH!)

Anyway, I'm here late with him today and WAH! Sesame Street is on!

I turn it on. I'm all excited. Had I thought ahead there would have been popcorn.

And what is the word of the day?!!?!?!?!?!

ARACHNID!

WTF?! A freaking RACHNID!

RIKKI DON'T DO SPIDERS!!!!!

Woe is me. Woe, oh, woe is me.

So far... Elmo held a taratula (as a result, I quivered with fear and fought back vomit).

Since that unfortunate turn of events, I have had my head turned from the tv. From what I can tell, there is a talking spider asking them to count his legs. Next they'll celebrate with a round of "Itsy bitsy spider" which I am fairly sure is the battle cry leading you into hell.

Teaching Sam to love Sesame Street FAIL!

Blasted.

**UPDATE** I'm enduring this hell on Earth smut so that I can teach my son to love Sesame Street. What is he doing? Crawling into the other room, finding things to put in his mouth, and generally getting into trouble.

And there is an ant talking on the Street in his best Billy Bob Thornton in "Slingblade" voice of "I like french fried taters and mustard... mmmmm hmmmmm." Not. Kidding. He even did the "mmmm hmmmm."

Video of Sam Crawling

2010-11-20T21:19:00.002-06:00

Ok guys, I've finally mastered the high-tech world of YouTube. I've been trying to upload a video of Sam doing his fat kid crawl (AKA army crawl) and all attempts have failed. Miserably.

Backstory on this video:

Sam has been fat kid crawling for about two weeks now. And he is snappy good at it too. But fat kid crawling doesn't compare to slightly chunky kid crawling... that ones a weeeeee bit quicker.

Sam's friend "M" at daycare is easily 3-4 months older than Sam... and Sam outweighs him by at least 5 pounds... but Sam really wants to hang out with M. So this video is Sam trying his best to keep up with M...

Spoiler alert: It includes a shortcut AND one mean lunge...

My Mom is CANCER FREE!

2010-11-09T14:46:00.000-06:00

That's right! Praise Jesus!

I got a text from my mom yesterday that said her bone marrow biopsy came back and no CML cells were present.

As I am the only one in my family that is not in the medical field, I always doubt myself if what I'm reading is what I think I'm reading. So I thought it was good but wanted to make sure that I wasn't jumping to conclusions.

My mom called later that day and asked me if I got the text. I told her yes but admitted that I doubt my medical terminology skills and while I thought CML had to stand for chronic myeloid leukemia, I'd hate to assume and then it means something else that is bad.

Guys, to hear my mom talk the way she was talking was a blessing in itself. She dumbed it down for me and said, "It means there was no cancer in the biopsy." Which is AMAZING!

Then she started telling me how her day went and how when she got the news she started to cry. Her thoughts were that she was diagnosed with this about 20 years before most people are diagnosed and she fought it for a year and SHE WON!

I tear up right now even remembering the conversation. SHE WON! Is the battle over? Nope. She will have to continue taking the medicine probably for the rest of her life (because this is a DNA problem it will likely keep producing the protein that causes all of this mess in the first place). She will have to continue having her bone marrow tested (which SUCKS but is necessary).

But she BEAT it! Hallelujah!

I miss crib bumpers!

2010-10-23T05:00:00.000-05:00

Bubby woke up crying at 4:30 am this morning. I could already tell it was legitimate and not one of those "I woke up in the middle of the night and don't know what to do with myself" cries. I got into his room and his chubby little leg is hanging outside the crib, almost wrapped around the corner of the crib.

My heart broke for the little guy. As cute as it was (and it was really cute), the look of shear confusion on his face was just terrible. I got his leg free and picked him up to rock him and calm him down. Within just a few minutes (if that) he was calm and falling back asleep in my arms. I wanted to make sure he'd go back to sleep because he had at least two good more hours of sleep in him. So we rocked for about 5 min of him being asleep to insure he was asleep and I could go back to bed.

Well that's what I thought. But his little eyes shot open about an inch from the crib. And judging by the look on his face, I must have just bought him a puppy, told him about the puppy, told him that with the puppy came and endless supply of candy, then slapped him across the face and killed the puppy with my bare hands.

HOLY CRAP was he mad! It was shrill screaming terror. Want to see a haunted house? For a reasonable price, let me wake up my son in the middle of the night and you hang out to see the nightmare that ensues!

I tried patting him, singing to him, reassuring him from a far that he was okay and needed to go back to sleep. He didn't care much for that. So I went ahead and made him a bottle (I know you aren't supposed to but frankly, I don't care), he didn't want it. And you know he's mad if he's turning down a bottle.

So the only option was to cry it out. And boy did he ever.

One day when he reads these posts about himself, I feel like he will be laughing a lot. It is times like these when I shake my head and go, "Oh my gosh, you act just like your daddy!" His daddy is so head strong and when he gets stuck on an idea, its going to happen come hell or high water!

At least I can laugh about it. It is easily one of the hardest things ever to have to listen to your child cry and intentionally do nothing about it. There are those that disagree with this tactic, and that's fine. Everybody has to do what they feel is best for their child and it changes with every person what they feel that is. But regardless, choosing to do what is best for your child versus giving them what they want is just that... a conscious choice.... every day... and man is it hard!

Its now 5:00 am... Bubby has stopped crying for about 5 minutes... now Momma contemplates how to get back in the room to get the bottle out of the crib... Oh. Snap.

Lots of Thoughts

2010-10-21T20:01:00.000-05:00

This post is going to be RANDOM... you've been warned.

I love Southwest Airlines. It caters to my OCD. You see, if I check in early (which I always do) you get a better seat. Simple as that. And everyone who flies Southwest generally knows this. So as I like the aisle seat, I get to pick one. Normally that means one that no one is in the window or middle seat in. Every once in a while that means I have someone in the window seat but rarely does it mean someone is in the middle seat. And my anti-socialism rejoices.

Last weekend, my son and I were supposed to be baptized. Instead, Justin took care of Sam, my grandma and dad and stepmom turned around halfway to Little Rock to go home, and I found a walk-in clinic to go to. I was in between a dose of antibiotics and mid round developed an allergy. Sunday morning greets me with hives from literally the top of my head (in my hair, on my face) to the bottom of my feet (seriously, in between my toes). I find myself thankful now that a few came up the night before and I mistook them for bites because I took Benadryl before bed. I am convinced this is why I didn't have an asthma attack in the middle of the night. I'm almost all good now though. And the devil is just going to have to find a new victim... we are getting baptized. Deal with it.

Speaking of the devil, most of you know this but last November my mother was diagnosed with chronic myleoid leukemia. What does that mean? It sucks, but it doesn't suck as bad as it could. Her father died of leukemia. I think that was where the devil got his idea. Mom took it very hard when her dad died and its always been a fear that one of us would be stricken by it. This leukemia is not the same. This one attacks the blood because of a mutated gene. BUT, there is a magical pill now that you can take and it basically keeps the disease at bay... so long as you take the pill. Mom is on the pill and her blood work continues to be good. So its almost like she doesn't even have the C word... except she does. Its really weird.

Where am I going with this? Here. The devil is showing his stupid little butt. My mother is a very strong lady. And while, yes, leukemia is a curse word in our family, it is still just a word. It is just a thing to overcome. And you'd think Mr. Devilman would get that. I got to thinking about Mom's situation the other day while waiting on said Southwest flight (see how I tie everything together?) and it just sucks. Every month she has to go get her blood drawn. And every month she has to wonder, "Will it come back this time?" Every year she has to endure a bone marrow biopsy... just to be safe.

Piss on you devil. That's what I say. I understand the pecking order... you need to bring people down and build your evil little army... whatever... but it has been written good sir. You will be defeated. And even if it wasn't already written... why her? She's a strong woman. She is going to beat this. You will not win. You would think you would pick someone weak and vulnerable and not stupid enough to fall into your spineless tactics.

Did my grandpa die of leukemia? Yes. Did the devil win that battle? Absolutely not. My grandpa died in the arms of Jesus. My grandpa died knowing exactly where he would be the next second. And he left that with all of us.

So to bring this full circle (I think), we are getting baptized Sunday. We are. I can wake up with hives, puking, a third arm growing out of my head... whatever. But this too will pass and I will be baptized. I'm so not kidding here. My child will grow up in the house of the Lord. We will be a Jesus filled family. And this declaration will happen if I have to kidnap a preacher, steal a rickety old van, and throw all of us in a creek to make it happen. Back off devil man... it's happening.

Update on the Bubby

2010-10-16T08:50:00.000-05:00

What am I super proud about today? My little boy ate 3 puffies last night and didn't gag! Then for dinner, I mixed some of a stage 3 dinner with a stage 2 and he ate it all without gagging!

This is such a big deal for him. At his last appt., I told the doctor about his gagging problem and the doctor said that if he doesn't make some major progress by his 1 year appt then he would have to do a swallowing study.

Momma is not okay with that. Of course I'd do what is best for my child, but I cannot imagine any part of a swallowing study would be fun for either of us. So we are working HARD on getting that gag reflex turned down. And he's doing so well!

Other updates: No he isn't crawling yet and no I'm not concerned. (Can you tell I'm tired of answering that question?)

The fact of the matter is, crawling isn't a milestone no matter how much people want to make it one. Some kids crawl, some don't. At his last appt, he was off the charts for weight and head circumference, and 75th percentile for height. He is BIG! That's a lot of body to be coordinating into a crawl (plus he is top heavy with that big ole' noggin).

He is, however, darn near turning flips midair he is rolling so well (insert fat joke here). He also uses his arms to position himself anywhere so he can roll and get there. And I noticed just this morning that he is starting to pull himself forward and push himself backwards with his arms a little bit.

He is still a jumper. Always has been I guess. Now when he's in his excersaucer it looks like he's jumping on a trampoline almost. He gets some air time.

He is also jabbering up a storm. He can say "Dada" although he has no idea who "Dada" is. He'll only make the "ma" sound every once in a while. Other than that, he squeals, and laughs, and grins, and talks his special little language to anything and everything that will listen.

Other tricks he does (I'm talking about him like he's a dog): He gives high fives (as long as you give applause) and he also can give sugar on demand (although I'm the only one he's done that for).

That's all the updates I have for now! He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and I couldn't imagine life without him! (Its hard to remember life without him!)

UT-Austin: The Latest Victim

2010-09-28T12:42:00.000-05:00

*Disclaimer: I'm an emotional student affairs professional as I write this. Take it for what it is worth.

Today, I'm at home sick. I should be resting and recooperating and getting ready to return to work tomorrow. What am I doing instead? Worrying myself sicker about what my friends at UT-Austin are going through.

For those who don't know, read this.

I realize that this is not a catastrophic casualty list and it probably won't stay on the mainstream news for even just a few days, but it is a big deal. It is a big deal because this kind of crap is happening more and more.

Have our responses gotten better since Virginia Tech? Sure. I couldn't be more proud of our university police teams all over the nation for the hard work and gruelingly training they are going through every day.

But what is the answer?!

I remember exactly how I felt the day I got the call from one of my previous RAs that shots were fired at UCA. My heart left my chest that day and joined all of the young men and women at UCA who were having to deal with it. It happened there. It happened at my... MY college!

You see on the news when it happens. Virginia Tech's logo with the black ribbon around it. Then it was Northern Illinois. Then... MY SCHOOL! The University of Central Arkansas! It was too real.

And now, I have friends that work at UT-Austin. And yeah, no one died but the one sad individual who couldn't just take his own life in the privacy of his own home, but had to scare an entire campus (an entire NATION) who are just trying to better themselves. It takes the selfishness of suicide to the next level.

Why do people spread terror on Earth? Why can't we just leave each other alone?

I obviously know the answer. And I know I have my answer. My answer of peace. Thank heavens I serve a God who takes the responsibility of judgment away from me, who protects, and who gives peace to those who seek it.

My heart is in Texas right now. It's bleeding for those who are having to make sense of this act. It's bleeding for those who have to clean up the mess, for those who have to return to school tomorrow, for those parents who have to continue to allow their children to attend school, and for the parents of that poor individual who took his own life in such a selfish manner. They are at the forefront of my prayers.

I have no original thoughts

2010-09-21T15:05:00.000-05:00

Survey!

I stole this from Ashley... who stole it from Kaitlyn... who very likely didn't make it up herself...

1. When is your “engagement” anniversary:

June 11, 2005

2. When is your “marriage” anniversary:

June 24

3. How long have you known your spouse:

8 years

4. How long did you date/court before you were engaged:

Approximately 3 years

5. Where did you meet your spouse for the first time?

He was a mentor in State Hall. I lived there. We talked in the lobby.

6. What is your spouse’s full name:

Justin Turner... his mom doesn't believe in middle names... lol j/k

7. Do you have any children:

The most precious one ever!

8. How many – boys/girls:

1 big boy

9. Do you have any house pets:

Probably... but not on purpose LOL There is a cricket that I refuse to squish because I hate that sound and I never see it when Justin is around. Then there is a teeny tiny spider that, while I don't like spiders, he doesn't seem to be harming anyone, he just wants to be left in his corner. The cricket's name is Juanita. The spider's name is Hugh.

10. Do you own a house or rent:

Neither... its complicated.

11. Do you live in the country or town/city:

City

12. What is one of your favorite activities together:

Lately... Scrabble. But we also like the zoo.

13. Do you have a favorite vacation spot:

He has one... Washington DC. I have one... almost anywhere else. LOL

14. When did you first kiss?

I know it was in my dorm room. Maybe a few weeks in? I dunno.

15. What church do you attend?

A cute little Methodist one. They are so nice. And do a lot for the community.

16. Is this the church you were married in:

We went the heathen route and got married in a conference center.

17. What town is your current address at:

The big Arkansas city.. you know...

18. Do you work or stay at home:

Kind of both... but mostly work.

19. Where did you go on your honeymoon:

Cancun

20. What was the funniest gift you gave when dating?

A mechanical singing hamster in a hamster cage. I'll leave you to ponder that.

21. How long have you been together?

8 years.

22. How long did you know each other before you started dating?

About a month.

23. Who asked who out?

I did. He drug his feet. But the story is a whole other blog post. That I may have already done.

24. How old are each of you?

27 and 26

25. Where do each of you go to school?

Neither of us "go to school" any more. But we both did and still do for jobs.

26. Which situation is the hardest on you as a couple?

Honestly... small stuff... like just getting on each other's nerves. We don't really fight about anything big.

27. Did you go to the same school?

Nope

28. Are you from the same home town?

Nope

29. Who is smarter?

Depends on the subject. Math/Communication/Etc. = Me. Computers/History/Etc. = Him. Physical science makes my eyes clothes although he got a lower grade. I'm better at grammar, he's better at content. We're like yin and yang.

30. Who is more sensitive?

Both of us. He would say me. But it depends on the day who is more sensitive.

31. Where do you eat out most as a couple?

Chick fil a?

32. Where is the farthest you two have traveled together as a couple?

Honduras

33. Who has the craziest exes?

Well he has one that's pretty bad, and most crazies from my past I didn't actually date... so you decide.

34. Who has the worse temper?

Him actually. Although hit the right button and I could take him. LOL

35. Who does the cooking?

Me.

36. Who is more social?

Me. Which is weird, because I"m the introvert.

37. Who is the neat-freak?

We don't know that term.

38. Who is more stubborn?

Him. No contest.

39. Who hogs the bed?

Him. And he shh's me if I try and remedy the situation.

40. Who wakes up earlier?

Me.

41. Where was your first date?

Started at Dairy Queen. Ended at a park. Shakey's in between.

42. Who had more boyfriends/girlfriends?

Me fo sho.

43. Do you get flowers often?

Not anymore. But I'm not bent out of shape about it. They cost money.

44. How do you spend the holidays?

Opening presents and eating.

45. Who is more jealous?

Neither. We both have a weird spot for jealously, but its pretty much a non issue.

46. How long did it take to get serious?

About a month. I'm either in or I'm out. I don't take much time to test the waters.

47. Who eats more?

He does.

48. Who does the laundry

Me, although he will help if I ask.

49. Who’s better with the computer?

I touch a computer and it breaks. He spends a lot of time trying to keep that from happening.

50. Leave a piece of advice for the other couples.

Treat your spouse better than you would treat yourself. Laziness can make the other person feel very unimportant and the simplest things can really add up. Build each other up and constantly put their needs above your own. If you both do that, you will be forever happy.

The Zoo

2010-09-09T17:05:00.000-05:00

This is Sam approximately 15 minutes into the zoo.

So Momma and Daddy entertained themselves.

Sam then woke up and got to try cotton candy for the first time.

He ended up liking it, with a mixture of uncertainty.

Trip to Alma in Pictures (and Video)

2010-09-09T17:00:00.002-05:00

He's a stud.

This is his lunch of spinach and potatoes. You be the judge if he likes it or not.

Aren't they cute? Aunt B, Sam, and G (who had eaten a marker earlier, hence the joker like smile on his face).

G thought Sam was his. He kept saying, "Mine."

Aunt B had her work cut out for her. G is determined.

See. Friends.

Meet Meatloaf. He's the life of the party.

Me and R's like peas and carrots.

And R finally claimed Sam as her cousin (and someone that exists) and helped feed him his lunch.

Just for some flavor, this is what one of our nights looked like. A kid being entertained by an adult babbling, dad watching tv, my sister petting a bulldog she found on the side of the road, R and G getting into things and me documenting it all. It was a good night.

Brag About Sam

2010-09-09T13:08:00.000-05:00

Sam has been doing some really cute things lately and I really need to document them.

1) Preferences on songs sung to him...

We were on our way home from Alma this past weekend and Sam was super tired of being in the carseat so he began to cry. Justin started singing "Old Macdonald" and he quit crying. SUPER CUTE.

About 15 minutes after Justin stopped singing, Sam started to cry again. I then tried to sing him "This Old Man Came Rolling Home". Nope... Justin started singing "Old Macdonald"... he was fine. What a stinker!

2) The little Johnny Jumper...

The kid loves to jump. If I could pick a career for him right now, it would be track and field, long jump and high jump (except the chubby kids rarely get to do those so I may be a bit off). The kid gets extreme joy from jumping in the doorway. And I do mean EXTREME joy! You know this if you have ever held him and he starts jumping in your lap. That's 24 lbs of solid boy jumping up and down in your lap. It's tiring.

And yet it makes him laugh, grin like an idiot, and squeel like a banshee! Love it!

3) He's a little feeler...

At daycare, there are two little girls who can cry up a storm. One day I went to pick him up, he was in the jumper, and one of the little girls was having a mad, screaming fit. He looked at her with concern in his eyes, then looked up at me and made the saddest little "pucker" face and started bawling himself. I had to pick him up and take him away from her for a minute to get him calmed down.

This morning when I dropped him off, the other little girl gets upset when her mom leaves. She doesn't really scream or anything, but she cries for about an hour after her mom leaves. I was holding Sam, he looks over at her, then looks up at Susan and makes that "pucker" face like he is about to cry. I distracted him, but he kept looking over at her, as if to check on her, and when he saw her still crying, he'd make the "pucker" face all over again.

He's so sweet. I love that kid so much!

10 Minute Photo Shoot

2010-08-25T03:10:00.000-05:00

Justin needed to take some pictures for some illustrations in his Journalism class at school so Sam and I were models!

Here they are!

These two were probably the sweetest. He's such a jolly kid.

See... jolly.

And really interested in grass.

This one is probably my favorite. I heart him!

This one is also high up on my favorites.

This one just cracks me up. He is his mother's child. He is jolly 90% of the time... sometimes more. But he got my "vibrant" facial expressions FOR SURE!

What is...

2010-08-23T11:46:00.000-05:00

What is something you dislike about yourself?
   How easy it is to hurt my feelings.
What is something you do well?
   Laugh
What is your favourite room in your home and why?
Sam's room... because he has a room!
What is a good neighbour?
State Farm?
What is the worst thing parents can do to their children?
Abuse them for their own personal desire
What is your favourite time of day?
   Morning... its quiet
What is your idea of a dull evening?
   No one calls me
What is the best way to treat meddlesome people?
   With love and a healthy dose of ignoring
What is something you are optimistic about?
   A cure for cancer
What is something you are pessimistic about?
   Human stupidity
What is your most indispensable possession and why?
   I would be really hurt if my childhood Bible was ruined, or my grandma's wedding ring
What is the meaning of "He laughs best who laughs last"?
   They truly get it and aren't willing to pretend
What is your favourite song and why?"
   This is like asking me what is your favorite food. I like lots of songs and several make me cry. It depends on my mood really. Currently... "That's Not My Name" Ting Tings, "Fancy" Reba, "Lights Went Out in Georgia" Reba and several sad ones I'd rather not name.

What is the best birthday present you ever received?
I'm not that into gifts so I rarely remember them... cleaning for me? a massage?
What is the best birthday present you could receive?
   Anything really thoughtful.
What is something that makes you feel sad?
   Thinking about losing family members
What is your favourite book and why?
   To Kill a Mockingbird... it is very wise
What is something that really bugs you?
   Ignorance, selfishness, breathing loud, and smacking
What is something that really makes you angry?
   Ignorance, selfishness, hurting children
What is the best advice you ever received?
   If you wouldn't be proud of it, don't do it.
What is your favourite holiday? What makes this holiday special?
   Mother's Day! Because it is just the best one ever created! I get to celebrate my wonderful blessing... what is better than that?

What is your favourite day of the week?
   I don't have one. I don't hate Mondays. I don't look forward to Fridays. They are all just days. What is your favourite month? Why?
   Don't have one of those either. October for the weather (as well as April), December for time off, June because its summer and my birthday and anniversary... you see the trend.

God Is Not A White Man

2010-08-19T13:36:00.000-05:00

I just watched this video. Its pretty spectacular.

God Is Not A White Man

Thoughts?

The House that Haunts Me

2010-08-17T11:33:00.000-05:00

This could be a long one... you've been warned...

My job: I love my job. I am a hall director which means I am in charge of 350 students, 10 Resident Assistants, around 5 Lobby Managers, and a full time Night Clerk. I handle judicial cases, budget, programming, etc... basically keep the building running without much alert to the higher ups. A part of this is to respond to emergencies at all hours of the night. This means I'm bound my contract to live here. This is a great thing actually becuase along with not paying rent, I don't pay utilities or anything else associated with apartment living (and its a really nice apartment).

The situation: This is hopefully (fingers crossed) my last year in my current position. This means I should be able to live off-campus next year and no longer have zero privacy. This is all provided that a new job is created, I apply for it and get it. We are a growing department so this is a very real possibility but there is always that possibility that it doesn't happen.

So Justin and I are in a unique situation of trying to find a house that we want to buy that we may or may not be able to buy or move into.

House We Love Round 1:

We went swimming one Saturday and decided to drive around some neighborhoods and just look around. We saw this one house that we both really liked and noticed it was for sale.

Beautiful right? Love this house! We got out and peaked in the windows... loved it. Just went to the backyard and noticed it was unlocked! We went inside... LOVED IT!

Justin called the realtor and left a message. She calls us back the next day (after we couldn't sleep wondering about this house) and they were about to accept an offer on it.

:-(

So we moved on.

House We Love Round 2:

A month or so later, I get an email that this listing has been updated. I go look and it has come down in price $10,000.... that's right... TEN GRAND! So Justin calls again and the lady who was going to buy it lost her job and its back on the market now AND the bank wants to short sell it.

So we are all excited again thinking maybe this is it! We go to the bank to find out what we can get pre-approved for. Turns out our credit is great and we start signing applications. One particular page was about having to move into the house within 60 days of closing...

FRICK!

I can't do that. I would have to quit my job to do that. A couple of things wrong with that... 1) I love my job and have no intentions of quiting. 2) If I were allowed to do that by some weird act of God, I wouldn't be okay with it. The building needs someone there to respond to emergencies. It just isn't feasible and I couldn't do as good of a job staying in another town, no matter how close it is.

My Anxiety: So turns out spending money makes me extremely uncomfortable. Any time Justin and I have had to spend a significant amount of money (furniture, car, etc) I turn into a walking ball of stress. I get tense and nervous. Most of me wants to throw up.

Yesterday was no exception. Except for we are spending thousands of dollars (potentially) so its only magnified. I was on the verge of a panic attack, I promise. I really did think I was going to throw up at one point. I was having chest pains. Real anxiety.

All of that for nothing... again.

So now, Justin and I have a deal that we are not LOOKING, INQUIRING, or ANYTHING RELATED TO REALTY until the date reads 2011. Until then... all bets are off... I can't handle the stress.

I Think I'm Getting Fatter

2010-08-14T20:42:00.001-05:00

Hear me out...

As I write this I'm enjoying a lovely cup of chocolate milk. And trust me it is lovely. But it is a little too chocolately. Which brings me to the fat comment.

Way back in the days of childhood, I'd go to the kitchen, pour me a glass of milk, and I'd go get the chocolate syrup, begin to squeeze... and it would take FOREVER to get enough chocolate in the cup. And back in those days, I was no chocolate fanatic like I am today. I just enjoyed it. But I'd squeeze and squeeze and squeeze... then stir and stir and stir... and still barely enough chocolate to afford it the name chocolate milk.

Now I go to make my chocolate milk and I'm still squeezing like I did when I was five... and its all syrupy! Way more chocolate comes out than it used too!

I still squeeze for just a long (which is the problem I'm sure), but I can't break away from the childhood habit. It's very frustrating.

So here is my thoughts on this phenomenon...

In the last 15 - 20 years, the engineering of the Hershey's bottle has dramatically increased. My brain's capacity to adjust for this feat of engineering, however, has not.

And as a result, I'm getting fatter. Because even now, after knowing if I squeeze the bottle just as much as I did if I was a kid it will be really syrupy... I can't stop myself.

Arizona and my day thus far

2010-08-03T12:47:00.001-05:00

Dear Arizona,

Get over yourself. Like what you have done already isn't enough, now you just want to directly go against the constitution. Secede from the union please. We no longer need you. You and Texas, get together, have an ignorant party together, start your own ignorant country, and leave the rest of us alone.

Now that I have that out of my system... I'd like to tell you about my day thus far.

We have orientation today at work and I need to be wearing my housing polo. I get up this morning and get dressed doing just that. I then go run some errands for work. I come home for lunch, pick up my son, and SPLAT! Spit up all over my housing polo.

FRICK!

It isn't salvageable. I know that. I"m going to have to change. And I'm thinking about this as my son decides to pee on me as I'm changing his diaper.

DOUBLE FRICK!

Now I need to change my pants too. Not a problem. I go find some pants and put my other polo (that doesn't match the other one but is still technically a housing polo) and put it in the dryer to dewrinkle.About 10 minutes later I realize the dryer isn't going anymore. I go to check on it. Somehow... my last housing polo instead of getting de-wrinkled... gets wadded up into a ball with a string wrapped all around it. Now it is sufficiently 1000 times more wrinkled and I have 10 minutes before I have to go back to work.

TRIPLE FRICK!

You just have to laugh at days like today... LOL

Bieber now vs. Joey McIntyre circa 1988

2010-07-30T09:27:00.000-05:00

A very comical person I know posted this status yesterday and boy did it cause a debate...

"Question: Fight between Justin Bieber and Joey McIntyre circa 1988. Who would win?"

The comments are as follows:
1) Bieber. He's got the street smarts that McIntyre lacks!
2) Ditto. Plus he has Diddy, Jay-Z and Usher on his side, so he probably wouldn't even have to fight.
3) Dude. Joey was a scrappy Boston boy. Bieber is from Canada. I think we know who has the street smarts. However, Jodie, good call on the Jay Z. Donnie could get his brother Mark and whoop up on Diddy & Usher. Jay Z can hold his own.

4) I am team Joey.
5) Canadians are much tougher than we give them hem credit for (hockey, frozen winters, caribou road crossings...) and while Bostonians may have their own street toughness, I doubt Joey ever so much as had a sleepover in any of those neighborhoods before meeting Donnie. I'm going with Bieber on this one although I wouldn't rule out a double tko

1) ‎^ Yes! Canadians are tough! At 16, I think Justin Bieber is tougher and taller than Joey McIntyre is today!
3) All very valid points, Mike. However, Joey got pushed around a lot by the older new kids when he joined. He had to fight his way through to get respect in the boy band. :-)
5) Baha, pushed around by the older New Kids? If that's the case then imagine all the internet bullying Bieber had to fight through, not only the respect he had to earn from the likes of Usher and the others mentioned above!

/cannot believe I'v...e been dragged into defending Bieber
3) I gave my heart to Joey when I was 12 and he still has it. But, I will confess that Justin can sing circles around Joey.
6) I am so ashamed of this entire thread. Mostly of you, Michael. One of all, Joey McIntyre may not have been born in Boston, but he was def raised on the streets of Beantown and found plenty of trouble before meeting Donnie (who, for me, is c...learly beyond reproach in this situation). And Tonya is right, he took a lot of hell from the other guys when he joined the band, however, T-Town, I'ma yell at you too, because in no way does Justin sing circles around Joey. Hanging Tough and the Step By Step albums contain a lot of full on ballads in which Joey is front and center, clearly without the assistance of autotune or other pitch correctors. While Justin has yet to prove his staying power after the ol' voice change, Joey's voice not only improved, but also afforded him a pretty decent solo career in the late 90s and early 2000s, not exactly the warmest climate for an aging boy bander.
But really, the main thing I want to weigh in on is this: Justin Beiber looks like Ellen Degeneres circa her unfortunate stint in bad Hollywood movies in the early 90s. Joey McIntyre (and the rest of the NKOTB boys) were not only wildly attractive (there is, naturally, some debate about Danny Wood, but I stand by what I said) but also built--even in their pubescent greatness--and were part of a movement in music that may be panned now, but was a really big deal then. What does Beiber have? The unfortunate Miley Cyrus and Sean Kingston grouping. A staying star that does not make.

Mostly, in 20 years, you won't see 30-year-old women flocking to Justin Beiber reunion concerts at the crab buffet at Harrah's Casino. You have, however, seen sold out events for NKOTB at MSG, The Pyramid, and other various locations Beiber is fighting to sell out now.

3) Bahahaha! #6 - I will bow to your passionate defense of Joey's singing ability. I think Justin is a better R&B singer - Joey is more of a crooner.
I love pop music - which means I have love for Bieber. But he will never match my love ...for Joey & the New Kids. I was 12/13 when they first arrived on the scene. Which means my hormones were out of whack I cried and screamed every time I saw their videos and watched their concert vids. I still do...just a little tear because my dream of meeting Joey has yet to come true. And yes, I know I'm on team girl now - but Joey was my first love. And I would...I really would.

Glad you're with me on who would win the fight. Beej is with us, too! But...I have to part ways with you on the Bieber hatin'. (Although I also question his staying power). I'm totally jealous that I won't be at his concert tonight with Abby and Jodie! Have fun, girls!

2) Just because you wouldn't go to a Justin Bieber reunion concert in 20 years doesn't mean the hoards of tweens showing up at Verizon Arena to watch him tonight wouldn't. They'll grow up eventually and probably argue on someone's Facebook sta...tus about the validity of their obsession with Bieber vs. Random Teen Pop Star of 2030. The fact is that Biebz' video for "Baby" is the most viewed video on YouTube right now. What are the stats on NKOTB videos? Let's face it, Little Biebzy is the most popular teenager in the world right now and he didn't need a whole hoodrat boy band to back him up, just some filipino kids he saw on YouTube.
Every generation has a Justin Bieber, Joey McIntyre, N*SYNC or whatever. Let's be real guys, Biebz and Joey McIntyre probably wouldn't fight anyway, they'd probably drink milkshakes and share stories of life on the road as a teen pop sensation. Then Donny Osmond, Justin Timberlake, and that one mildly successful Backstreet Boy would show up, and they'd throw a badass party while their parents are out of town.

3) Bahahaha #2! They would so have milkshakes together. But chocolate ones. Not vanilla. Vanilla is for wimps.
3) And as far as teen idols go...I think we all know the Leif Garrett would be the worst in a fight. He really had issues.
7) justin beiber was not yet thought of in 1988. ...at least joey was alive. i think the winner is obvious.
1) ‎#3 you will be with us in spirit tonight!
and didn't people question Donnie Osmonds staying power? I'm just saying...

8) Rhinos a really good and fun post. I would like to chime in on this argument, because I believe comparing Joey Mac to Justin Bieber is like comparing the Tin Woodsman to Darth Vader, it doesn't work due to the context. Joey Mac continue hi...s fame based on his previous work with NKTOB, which would put him on more of a parallel with Justin Timberlake.
Justin Bieber's popularity originates in a time when market segmentation is at it's highest, for him to garner the amount of recognition in this day in and age puts him on par with a Donny Osmond level celebrity (that and their giant teeth).
What's also interesting is that Bieber has appeal in different cultures, I mean the kid is played on BET. Parallels could even be drawn to him and (dare I say it) Eminem because of his rise from obscurity, grass roots support, being mentored by a successful Black recording artist (Usher and Dr. Dre respectively), and presence in a predominately African American music genre (Pop Rap and Pop R&B). Only time will tell if Bieber falls on the celebrity spectrum closer to Elvis or Vanilla Ice.

4) Ok, I just have to say this- Joey McIntyre sang "Please Don't Go Girl" before Bieber was even born. NKOTB crossed many lines of music, they were played across all genres. Joey had my heart at 6 years old when I saw him dance across that stage at the Target Center, and he has my heart today. Bieber, while talented, will always be remembered as the kid with the weird hair. Just saying.

2) With all due respect #4, he will be remembered like that by you, but not the millions of girls singing his songs right now. Only time will tell how successful Bieber truly is, and if he has the hearts of many young girls right now, I would say he is on the same playing field as Joey Mac WAS, if not higher. I am agreeing to disagree with all you old, closed minded fogeys. You know that the song "Baby" makes you want to dance, if you can't admit that, you're only lying to yourself.

3) Thanks for the passionate discussion! What a great way to spend a Friday in the office!
9) Joey with his hands tied behind his back. Beiber is a p word I don't say.
8) Haha, #9. I think Joey Mac would turn the other cheek since he dedicate his life to the Lord. Bieber however I'd from the Godless land of Ca-Na-Da. His god is science.
9) I think even God supports a Beiber beat down. Just saying...
9) I would like to take a moment to point out one thing about the Beibster...
He has successfully combined "lover" and "eenie meenie miney moe" into a successful song (only God knows why... and I think even He is confused on what went wrong the...re).
Based on this alone, I may switch teams to the Beibster... he is an evil genius. He'd probably orchestrate a coup with the Cullens or something.

2) #9--He also has a pretty rockin' rendition of Lovefool. And his song "Bigger" is actually quite inspirational. Peace. Love. And Justin Bieber!

9) He's evil and looks like a girl.
9) And sings like a girl.
9) And pees like a girl.

So what do you think?

Adults Say the Darndest Things

2010-07-15T13:15:00.000-05:00

I think I have a sign on me that says, "Just say what you think. I have no feelings."

I was getting my coffee today (everything happens when I get coffee it seems) and someone to be left unnamed saw me and said, "Wow! Your hair is age appropriate!"

What?! I mean, the person liked the hair. They said it was cute. But... age appropriate?!

How bad was my hair before? Really? I don't come up to you and say everything on my mind...

GRRRR I'm a bear. A big, cranky bear.

Captain Cranky's back... uh oh...

2010-07-14T10:16:00.000-05:00

Preface: I do not have diabetes. I'm not at a significant risk for diabetes. I also have remarkable blood pressure. I do not have high blood pressure in the slightest. May God not strike me down for what I'm about to say...

One way to quickly get under my skin and lose all of my sympathy is to go on and on about "woe is me, I have diabetes, there is no cure, its a slow cancer, my blood pressure is out of control, afraid of a stroke..." and then turn around and ask someone for a Honey Bun and salty chips.

Well yes, you would have some trouble with your high blood pressure and diabetes if you are packing away these types of foods!

I see this all the time! And it infuriates me! If you want to eat what you want, then fine, go for it. But do not expect me to feel bad for you. Don't waste my time with a sob-story please!

Justin and I have a family member that has diabetes and she is extremely obese. She doesn't take care of her insulin, she doesn't watch her sugar (other than eat what she wants). She can flat pound down a cheesecake but she will go on and on about how she feels bad... STOP!

It is my same opinion with weight loss. If you think you are fat, fine. Feel fat. But don't tell me about it as you are downing french fries and Dr. Pepper. I'm not saying you don't deserve to have indulgences. I certainly enjoy them. And I am occasionally unhappy with my body. But I will not bore anyone with those feelings unless I am super close to them and they know I'm having a crazy moment.

This is why I married such an amazing man. One thing he is not is a complainer. He doesn't even have high blood pressure. He is "pre-hypertensive." And what does he do immediately? Almost eradicates salt from his diet. And this is a big deal because he'd be giddy like a school girl on test day if I gave him a salt lick for Christmas. The kid loves salt. But his health is more important. So sacrifices have to be made. This is the man I married. I love it.

Captain Cranky out...

From Sam: "Meet My Friends"

2010-07-07T17:05:00.000-05:00

Hi. My name is Sam. I'm awesome. See...

I would like to introduce you to my friends. You see, Momma and Daddy put me in the exersaucer thing all the time because when I'm in it, I jump around and smile and laugh a lot. So they think I'm so darned cute when I'm in it, I should get to play in it all the time. Anyway, I have some friends on the saucer that are pretty cool and I'd like you to meet them.

This is my sheep...

Our relationship is pretty self explanatory by the picture. I eat him. All the time. He's the silent type so he doesn't talk much and I try not to bother him with words. But he tastes nice. So I chew on his butt.

These are my chicken friends...

My goal in life as far as they are concerned is to spin them until their heads fall off. I haven't succeeded yet... but one day....

This is my cow friend...

We are "into it" 90% of the time. I'm mean to him. He stares at me. I yell back. He's hateful.

This is my friend Piggy...

I love Piggy. He's my favorite. I pet him and love him and rarely ever eat him. Piggy is awesome.

And this little sucker... this is Horsey...

I'm afraid if I touch Horsey, I'll turn into a girl. I just stare at him but keep my distance. He's not my friend but he hangs around the others so I just deal with him. You know...everyone has one of "those" friends.

And those are my friends. Thanks for letting me tell you all about them!

What if we all acted this way... and other rants from Captain Cranky

2010-07-07T15:19:00.000-05:00

I had a doctor's appointment today at 1:15pm. I show up at 1:00 pm. I get all the forms filled out, pay the co-pay, and sit and wait. At 1:15pm I'm called back to the room. I talk to the nurse for a few short minutes. She gets her information and then says, "The doctor is just finishing up his lunch break. We'll be back in a few minutes."

Now I think to myself, "If he is just finishing up his lunch, I'll probably be sitting here for about 15 minutes waiting." That seems perfectly reasonable to me. At 1:30pm, I think, "Maybe just a few more minutes. Won't be long now."

At 1:50pm, I begin to get irritable. We are officially past "finishing up" lunch. We are now taking another lunch on top of our previous lunch.

At 2:05pm the doctor graces me with his presence. I was out of the office by 2:15pm.

And now I ask... why is it that doctors/doctors offices can act this way? If you made an appointment with someone at 1:15pm and then moseyed on in 50 minutes later... would you not be reprimanded? Or lose a client? Or lose your job?

I make appointments with students all the time. Sometimes things happen and I'm 5 to 10 minutes late. But darned near an hour?! After I've been told you are "finishing up" lunch? How unbelievable arrogant of you to assume your time is more important than mine. And to come in and not even apologize for taking so long. GRRRRRRRR!

It is unfair I tell you... Unfair. All I'm asking for is a little honesty. Here is a list of things (I love lists) that would have made this experience okay.

Nurse: "It'll be a little while. The doctor is just now getting his steak on the grill."

Nurse: "The doctor went to school for 8+ years so when he's good and ready we'll get started."

A sign at the front desk: "We tend to run 30 min to an hour behind. Twilight saga in the corner if you want to read them all in the mean time."

When they called to confirm: "Yes, I see your appointment is at 1:15pm. If you could roll on in between 1:30 and 2:00pm we should be fine."

Lastly, upon signing in receptionist says: "It'll be a while. You can watch HBO in the room to your left or the napping room is down the hall on your right. We'll wake you when he's ready."

Ahhh if the world would just ask me for suggestions more often...

Because I do everything Ashley does...

2010-07-02T16:21:00.000-05:00

Do you have any pets? Not anymore. But I look forward to a house with a dog.

What color shirt are you wearing? White

Name three things that are physically close to you: A mess... Kool-Aid.. and reciepts

What is the last book you read? Are You There God? It's Me Margaret (Yes that is a preteen book. What do you make of it?

Are you or were you a good student? Dorky to a fault

What's your favorite sport? Softball

Do you enjoy sleeping late? Eh... as long as I sleep good I'm alright.

What's the weather like right now? Beautiful!

Who tells the best jokes? Jim Gaffigan?

What was the last thing you dreamed about? Offering an opening on my staff in the most peculiar way.

Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed? Yes... and I've been crashed into.

Do you believe in karma? Karma by name? No. But I believe God will take care of what needs to be taken care of.

Do you believe in luck? Nope... just that life's not fair.

Do you like your eggs scrambled or sunny side up? I have never had a sunny side up egg in my entire life. Love eggs though.

Do you collect anything? If so, what? Awesomeness. I have an abundance. :-)

Are you proud of yourself? I rock, so yeah.

Are you reliable? Yeah...

Have you ever given money to a bum? Never money... bought several meals though.

What's your favorite food? Mexican. No, Italian. No, dessert. No, sandwiches... what was the question?

Have you ever had a secret admirer? That's slang for stalker. And no, not to my knowledge.

Do you like the smell of gasoline? So much that I'm embarrassed about it.

Do like to draw? Yes but I don't.

What's your favorite invention? Toilet paper. Hands down.

Is your room messy? Right now, no. Which is an amazing feat all in itself.

What do you like better: oranges or apples? Oranges. Apples have to be the most boring fruit.

Do you give in easily? I'm lazy in general. If it bodes well for me to give in so I can watch tv, then yeah. Otherwise, I'm as stubborn as a mule.

Are you a good guesser? I'm fairly intuitive.

Can you read other people's expressions? Ha! Yeah... its hard to keep a secret around me.

Are you a bully? No... I like to be mean to bullies though.

Do you have a job? Luckily...

What time did you wake up this morning? 7:00 AM

What did you eat for breakfast this morning? Mocha.

When was the last time you showered? This morning.

What do you plan on doing tomorrow? Date with the bestie... play with the son... eat and sleep.

What's your favorite day of the week and why? I don't have a favorite day of the week. I like to laugh. So Laughday.

Do you have any nicknames? Boss Lady. KK. Big Momma. Way back in the day... Peanut.

Have you ever been scuba diving? That will never happen.

What's your least favorite color? Yellow

Is there someone you have been constantly thinking about? If yes, who? That little fat man that stole my heart back in January.

Would you ever go skydiving? Only if kidnapped and pushed from the plane.

What toothpaste do you use? Colgate Total Whitening.

Do you enjoy challenges? I don't go looking for one but I sure enjoy kicking one in the bunghole.

What's the worst injury you have had? C-section. Does that count? Otherwise my teeth going through my lip hurt some.

What's the last movie you saw? Toy Story 3

What do you want to know about the future? Will I adopt? Will I get a promotion? Will I have another baby? What will Sam grow up to be?

What does your last text message say? "I have a surprise for you in your office."

Who was the last person you spoke over the phone to? Mr. Turner

What's your favorite school subject? Most of them but History. Hate history. Probably Math though. You can control Math. English is open to interpretation. Science is harder to control. Yeah math.

What's your least favorite school subject? History... I just said that.

Would you rather have money or love? Who says money? Donald Trump and the Devil that's who.

What is your dream vacation? Transatlantic cruise that tours the Mediterranean.

What is your favorite animal? Dogs. More specifically... puppies.

Do you miss anyone right now? Family. Staff. Friends. If I love you and you live outside of Little Rock, then yes.

What's the last sporting event you watched? I have a pretty serious sport watching deficiency that needs to be remedied.

Do you need to do laundry? Always.

Where were you when 9/11 happened? In my car on the way to Small Gas Engines my senior year of high school.

What do you do when vending machines steal your money? Hit the change button 145 times rapid fire then take it as a sign from God that I'm fat and move on.

Have you ever caught a butterfly? No, but I've caught fireflies and squeezed glow stuff out their butt.

What color are your bed sheets? Tan

What's your ringtone? Ain't No Mountain High

Who was the last person to make you laugh? Me probably. I crack myself up.

Do you have any obsessions right now? Family Feud.

Do you like things that glow in the dark? Eh...

What's your favorite fruity scent? Orange

Do you watch cartoons? Spongebob

Have you ever sat on a roof? Yes

Have you ever been to a different country? Yes: Mexico, Honduras, Belgium, Germany, Netherlands, France

Name three things in the world you dislike: Close-minded republicans, blind southern democrats, and grapefruits.

Name three people in the world you dislike: George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Michael Moore.

Has a rumor ever been spread about you? LOL Yeah... I was on my deathbed once. That one was fun.

Do you like sushi? Yes...and Ashley will too one day.

Do you believe in magic? Nope.

Do you hold grudges? Yeah, I have a "letting go" of it problem.

My Little Boy's First Sickness

2010-05-24T17:07:00.000-05:00

To preface: I'm a big fat baby.

No one prepared me for how hard it is if your baby is sick. Nothing hurts worse! Give me a thousand nails shoved under my big toe any day! Ugh!

So it started Friday night. He had been coughing but I didn't think a whole lot of it. I took him to daycare Friday morning and Susan said she'd watch it and see if we needed to take him to the doctor. He didn't really cough for her at all so we thought it was fine.

He started coughing when I got him home Friday night and I thought, "I should check his temperature just in case." Glad I did... it was 100.1.

I immediately start over-reacting. Something about seeing a three-digit temperature associated with your child is very unsettling. So I call Susan first. She assures me that I'm not over-reacting if I want to take him to the doctor but that its also okay to wait and see what happens.

That wasn't good enough so I called the nurse's line. They said, "Oh its just 100? We don't usually see them until its been 102 or higher for three days."

Insert blank stare here.

Really? That's entirely too long. Sorry. So I called the after hours clinic that I would take him to and see what they think. They say, "You need to take him the ER."

WHAT?! That is like the exact opposite reaction I just got! While I thought it was worth being seen, I wasn't even to the point that he should go to the ER. So I called my mom.

She of course agreed with the nurse and said don't do anything. It was about this time that Sam woke up from his nap and he was all smiles and giggles. So I finally decided to wait it out and sleep in his room just in case.

The next morning he woke up and coughed a little, but was overall fine. So we went over to a friends house and played all day. Then his fever returned Saturday night. But it was higher and he was coughing like a frog was in his throat and he was crying because it hurt.

That's it. Off to the doctor we go.

We get there and he has a 101 temp. The doctor sees him and he has a virus. They show us how to invade the privacy of his nostrils with the most efficiency (it is intense) and give us some comfort and mucus loosening instructions.

Sunday goes well. He coughs and what not but nothing new and disturbing.

Then there was this morning. He woke up at 5:15am. When I gave him his bottle around 6:00am, I took it out to burp him... and there is BLOOD ON THE NIPPLE!

Now don't let me over-react here. It wasn't A LOT but it wasn't just a little either. It was concerning for sure.

I flipped out. I wanted to see in his mouth so bad but couldn't. I woke Justin up and we both just stared at him trying to figure it out. All the while Sam is just pissed that we aren't giving him the bottle back. He was hungry.

So we got an appointment today and all is well. There were several things that could have caused it but the doctor ruled out all the serious ones and was glad we brought him in to check.

And you would have thought we were new people when we left. So much stress left us once we knew for sure he was fine.

Again, I stress to you, nothing hurts like watching your child hurt and being able to do nothing about it. Nothing.

Little Leak: The Birth Story

2010-04-20T13:53:00.001-05:00

Upon reading the piedmont parent, I realized, I never documented the birth story of Sam. I couldn't believe that I hadn't because if ever there was a story to be documented, it would be his.

It was early January 5, probably around 6:00 am. Justin was due back to work that day, as was I (the previous day had snowed). I woke up to make Justin his lunch. I walk to the kitchen and I feel a little leak. With every step I took, I got another "little leak."

I say "little leak" because I was told in our childbirth class that if your water breaks, 1) it will break when you are lying down and not while standing up and 2) if it does break while standing up, it will probably only trickle but once you lay down it will full on break.

Well I thought about it and decided to go lay back down for a bit to see if my water had broken. I was convinced it hadn't because we still had a full three weeks and some change to go before he was due. I laid back down. Nothing happened.

I got back up. "Little leak." I made his lunch. "Little leak." I went back to bed and laid down. Nothing. So I went back to sleep.

I woke up a few hours later to get up and get ready for the day. I go to get undressed for the shower. "Little leak." I then decide walking around naked isn't a great idea right now, so I get dressed again and call my sister. Turns out she is precious little help as her water was broken for her both times. She called on of her friends and alas... the consensus is... my water broke.

But I hadn't showered yet. So I decided to pack a hospital bag (just in case) and an overnight suitcase (just in case). "Little leak". Then I decided I needed a shower.

So I showered... got ready for the day... got ready for work actually because I was convinced that I wasn't going into labor. "Little leak." I finally called the doctor (I know... hadn't occurred to me until now and I didn't want to be told I couldn't take a shower... mom of the year! That's me!)They advised me to go to labor and delivery and be checked.

So I called my friend Gena and she drove me to the hospital. I was convinced this was a false alarm and would get sent back home but better safe than sorry right?

"Little leak."

I go up to the desk and I say, "Hi. I'm leaking. I was told to come here to fix that." They checked me in, gave me "the gown", and in comes the nurse. She "checks" me and says, "Yup, your water broke."

You would think at this point I would get it. You would be wrong. I asked her, "So should I call family and stuff?" She said, "Well, if you were my daughter I'd like to know but it'll still be a while yet." I was like, "I think you misunderstood me. Am I having a baby today?" She said, "Oh yes honey, you are."

Great. So first things first, lets clue my husband in. That's right. I hadn't called him yet. I call him, and say, "So... we are going to have a baby today." He says, "What? No way." I said, "That's what they are telling me here in labor and delivery."

He came right on down. Parents and family were notified. What was I doing? Jonesing for a hamburger and something more than ice chips. I'm casually thinking about how this baby that is supposedly going to be here "today" doesn't have anywhere to sleep once we leave the hospital. And yet... no stress.

They came in to start the pitosin drip. They say contractions are going to start soon. Some time elapsed and the nurse comes in and says we need to readjust because Sam isn't liking the contractions and his heart rate is dropping. Still not stressed.

They leave. They keep coming in and telling me I'll get comfortable later; the epidural is almost here. I couldn't feel anything at the time so I was like, "Whatever." Then they came in again and stopped the pitosin because his heart rate dropped again. The doctor came in and explained that if he kept doing this, we were going to do a c-section.

Pause. C-section was my worst nightmare. I would have rather not had an epidural or any pain medicine at all than have a c-section. Scared to death of them.

Un-pause. I told the doctor I'd really like to not do that. He ordered the epidural, I get it, we try again. The doctor walks back in not 5 minutes later. It's c-section time.

Still. Not. Stressed.

They wheel me back to the room. They flop me over on the table. They hook up the oxygen. They make me lay my arms out to the side like a "T". Nothing. They upped the medicine... I shook a lot... still not stressed. Still not fully aware that Sam is about to be with us.

The anesthesiologist says, "Ok you are going to feel some pressure now." Then what happened next is a blur but I can tell you what I think happened... At some point I missed when Stone Cold Steve Austin was invited in the room but his sole purpose was apparently to jump up and down on my chest. After I was done bouncing on the table, he apparently snuck out before I saw him... but it was too late for me to notice anyway because Sam was here. I heard him cry.

Justin says, "He got my nose!" The nurse said, "Look at that boy! He's got a pumpkin head!" Justin brought him over. I saw him. And still... not stressed.

We got back into the room and I held him for a while. He was precious beyond belief but it still didn't feel like he was mine. Then there was the unfortunate matter of someone forgetting to turn the epidural pump back on once I got in the room so I was distracted by the burning pain of a thousand suns in my stomach for about an hour.

I think it was later that night when everyone had gone and it was just me and little Sam. Then it hit me. I was a momma. He was my son. This was real.

"Little leak."

Then I got my composure and made a shopping list for my husband. Because boy did we need a lot of stuff.

Top 10 DOUCHEBAG Things to Say to A Post Partum Woman

2010-04-09T11:54:00.000-05:00

Ok...so maybe I don't have a top ten list prepared just yet... but this shall be a vent session on at least one that would make it into the top ten... if you are lucky, by then end I'll rack my brain for the other nine...

I was walking into work today, and a worker who shall remain nameless comes up to me and says, with a smile on his face, "Your belly is finally starting to go down."

...

I'm sorry, WHAT?!

I realize that he thinks he has just given me a compliment. And thankfully, I've grown a lot since high school and was able to realize this, at least momentarily, so I could get behind closed doors to freak out...

But.. I'm sorry.... WHAT?!

Have you not EVER encountered a woman in your entire life?! Would you like to live to see the day when that might happen?! Then don't say crap like that!

Here is a list of ways he could have said the very same thing and not incited a riot inside my brain...

1) You are looking really good.
2) Said nothing at all in place of the moronic statement he did decide to make.
3) Hi Rikki.
4) You look nice today.
5) Wow. You are losing your pregnancy weight fast.

Any of these would have been acceptable. But no... we went with "finally starting to go down."

I love the Good Lord and I do believe everyone has the power to overcome their weaknesses... but good gravy did I ever have a hard time keeping the mean, hateful things I had to say in and not explode. Thank God I have good friends I can vent to.

And before the comments start of "You look so good." and "Don't listen to him." You should know, I feel like I look pretty darned good for having 40 lbs to lose just 3 months ago. I've been very proud of myself. And I only have freaking 9 lbs to go to get to my pre-preggo weight. It's the douche-baggery of a statement that's gotten me so mad.

And congratulations... I will now rack my brain to come up with the other 9 douchebag things to say to a postpartum woman...

1) (Obviously) Your belly is finally starting to go down.
2) Wow... you look like you could use a nap.
3) Did pregnancy make your boobs lopsided? Or were they that way always?
4) What a cute little girl! (To your boy) or What a cute little boy! (To your girl)
5) (While you are in pre-pregnancy clothes) I bet you are ready to get out of those maternity clothes.
6) When are you due?
7) Don't worry... those bags under your eyes will take care of themselves.
8) Your baby is so ugly he's cute.
9) Does it just make you sick to see pictures before got pregnant?
10) You sure were hot before you became a mom.

Most of these were NOT from experience... :-)

The Great Yellow Thunder... AKA My Son

2010-04-07T21:26:00.000-05:00

Let's set the scene. Some things you should know before reading this post.

1) When babies poop, it's funny. When MY baby poops it is HILARIOUS! All kids grunt a little bit when they poop. My baby... turns bright red, grunts really loud, kicks his legs out, and sometimes sticks out his tongue.

2) As of 2 hours a go, he hadn't pooped in 3 days. Think about how hard you have to work if you go that long.

3) Gena Girard was just complaining this morning that she had never seen Sam poop. Everyone else gets to see it and she doesn't.

Now for the story.

Gena came over for her normal Wednesday night dinner. Sam was particularly fussy and needed to be fed but I needed to cook. So Gena volunteers.

I am standing in the kitchen and I hear her say, "Oh yay, I think he's pooping!" He was. But this isn't the explosion. He let out a loud wet fart and big huge grunt and kicked out his legs. Then he calmed down to finish his bottle. Gena was going to change him after he finished and he only had about an ounce left.

I returned to the kitchen. And that's when it happened. I heard the LOUDEST grunt followed by a THUNDEROUS pooping sound. I immediately bust out in laughter. So does Gena and Justin...

Then Gena starts laughing and gagging... loudly on both accounts. I come back into the living room and she's holding up her hand which has my son's poop ALL OVER IT! Now I'm laughing so hard that I can't get my son off of her to clean up.

The gagging intensifies. My husband and my laughter follows. We are leaned on each other laughing hysterically... tears streaming down our faces... Gena... still covered in my son's poo and no one getting him off of her...

She finally says, through the laughter and tears and gagging, "GUYS! ITS UNDER MY FINGERNAILS!!!"

I finally am able to get Sam off of her so she can go to the bathroom... still laughing hysterically... and I start hearing violent gagging noises coming from the bathroom. I finally hear Gena calling for someone to the bathroom. Justin shows up and Gena has VOMITED ON HERSELF!

Justin and I are apparently going to hell because we laugh even harder (she's laughing too so don't judge too much). So now she has puke on her shirt, poo on her pants, and is still gagging...

Then I hear her call for me. I go to the bathroom and the amount of poo on her leg is AMAZING! Especially since I had just seen the obscene amount in his diaper... at this point I'm marveling at how much poop my son can contain (and by the way... that amount of poop stuck in a tiny body for that amount of time.. STINKS!!!). But she needs help getting herself cleaned up. So I took Gena duty... Justin took Sam duty.

Now Gena and I are both laughing and gagging together. I go and get her new pants to wear (which I'm so behind on laundry she has to wear maternity sweat pants) and she has to do laundry immediately.

Damage done? Let's make a list...

Poop on...
Gena's hand...
Gena's jeans...
the floor...
the exercise ball beside the chair she was sitting in...
the changing pad...
Sam's booty...
Sam's chest...
Sam's thighs...
Sam's arms...
(but none on his outfit...figure that out)

The night ended in Gena wearing a lot of my clothes and Sam with a bath.

Oh, and by the by... Justin was so busy cleaning up the carnage that I was left with a naked baby boy waiting on a bath... who peed on me while waiting.

The Great Discovery of StumbleUpon

2010-03-25T16:51:00.003-05:00

Ok... so if you haven't heard... StumbleUpon is AWESOME!

First let me explain... You go to this website, click on "interests" you have, then click "Stumble" and it takes you to random websites based on your interests. AWESOME!

I thought this sounded like a glorious waste of time (which in some ways it is) but holy moly have I come across some really interesting links and fun games... Here are some examples...

HassleMe: This website will e-mail you at random times to remind you to do things you tell it to. Want to exercise more? Need to pay a bill? Just tell it your e-mail address and how often you need to do it and it will remind you!

AntCity: Feeling destructive? Need to blow off steam? Go to this site and burn people like you would ants with a magnifying glass.

BlackPeopleLoveUs: This site is just plain hilarious. It's a great way to illustrate how dumb white people can be sometimes.

Cool Umbrellas: That's just it. You would have never thought of these.

Lumosity: This site has a ton of free games and puzzles and helps you build your abilities based on your preferences.

Phobias: And this is just funny...

These are just a few of my favorites... you should check it out... it is really cool some of the stuff you'll come across.

Chubby Bubby and the Outside World

2010-03-25T16:39:00.003-05:00

So, one of my favorite things to do right now is take my little sweet pea outside in the late afternoon (right after work). He LOVES being outside! If he is fussy... we can take him outside and he is in awe.

This makes me so excited to take him to the zoo!

Just yesterday I made plans to pick him up from SM's (the lady that watches him) and sit outside while my lasagna baked. Well of course, I get home, and Chubby Bubby is hungry. And he didn't get that nickname by waiting for a meal...

I knew if I fed him in the house, by the time he was done it'd be too late to go outside. So what did I do? I made the bottle, grabbed a burp rag, and we went outside anyway.

He is such a cutie! He got so distracted that he didn't even eat much (which is odd... again, given his nickname). He just looked around and stared at things... like the world was just something to be discovered...

Now I realize this picture he just looks kind of mad... but I couldn't work my phone right to get is "studious" look.

Tomorrow, Justin and I are shooting a wedding in Hot Springs which means Bubby gets to go stay at Grandma's for a while. Hopefully she'll have nice weather to take him outside in.

Its been a while

2010-03-11T14:55:00.002-06:00

My good friend to be left unnamed started a blog recently and it reminded me... I have one of those. Its been a while since I updated it... but I have one. So much has happened since I last updated that there is no way for me to make up for lost time. So instead... I'm going to talk about my son...

We had a moment this morning. My grandma came into town today so instead of taking him to daycare early, I waited so we could have lunch with her. Our normal routine has him waking up around 6:30am, eating a little bit, changing his diaper/clothes, I pump, then we leave.

This morning, I wanted to go back to sleep. So I fed him around 6:30am, then I changed his diaper, and put him back down to sleep. I hopped in the shower and got as ready as I could before laying down to nap. I got up around 9:30am to feed him again and get him changed. He lost interest in eating so I thought it was safe to go pump. I put him in his carseat and go to the other room to pump.

And that's when the screaming began. He screamed bloody murder for the entire 15 minutes I was pumping. So I was thinking... he wasn't quite done eating and he was letting the world know about it.

No. I no more than walk back in the room and say, "Bubby... what's the deal?"

He looked up at me, gave me a really mean look, and stopped crying. He was apparently upset that I went in the other room. He literally didn't cry again until we were about to leave the restaurant and I had to change his diaper (He's not a fan of the diaper changing station in the bathroom... turns out... neither is momma.)

And that's my little chubbo story of the day.

So it's been a while...

2009-07-29T12:41:00.002-05:00

So, yeah, sorry about that. Since I last posted, I hired a new staff, went on a cruise to the Caribbean, finished my first professional year, got pregnant, and celebrated my 3rd anniversary with Justin. Now you are caught up ;-)

Currently, the baby thing seems to be getting the most attention so I'll start there. And probably end there to be honest.

We found out at the end of May that we will be bringing a Baby Turner into the world at the end of January. Yay! I've been wanting this for quite some time, but Justin warmed to the idea at the beginning of May, and lo and behold... a baby was conceived!

Today, I officially ended my first trimester. Another WAHOO moment! I'm not obviously showing yet, but I'm at that uncomfortable stage that people who don't know I'm pregnant just kind of glance at my belly over and over again in the middle of conversation.

Now, I get that it is offensive to ask someone when they are due when they aren't pregnant. But I never knew I could be offended at someone continuously looking at my belly and not saying anything. Its a lose lose really I guess, but still. This irritates me. I can't blame people for not staring, just stop taking glances. If I was gaining weight, and not pregnant, OH MY GOSH how rude is that?!

I can't wait to see my reaction to people when they realize I'm pregnant and start touching my stomach. I've decided I'm just going to touch theirs right back. When they look at me like that might be inappropriate, I'm just going to say, "You didn't ask me."

Incidentally, if you see me on the news, come bail me out ;-)

It took 8 years to finally find out...

2009-02-05T16:55:00.002-06:00

I've been gradually letting people know what's going on in the pain department. Congratulations, you are one of the lucky few.

If you've known me for any length of time, you know I suffer from random bouts of pain in my abdomen. Just so you are certain, this is not agonizing pain. Its more inconvenient than anything. But when you experience it off and on for just short of a decade, it starts to get on your nerves.

The quest started my senior year of high school. One surgery, one very invasive test, several vials of blood, and the banishment of my modesty later and still no one is certain what is causing this. It could be endometriosis but we got rid of it. It could be IBS but probably not. It could be ovarian cysts (which was the most prevalent theory).

Well I gave up my senior year and just dealt with it. It eventually went away. It would come back every once in a while but not last long. I did some more test in college when it hung around a little longer than I liked. Still nothing. Other than finding out I had an inverted appendix... not that it matters.

Alas, we are to the last few months. The pain was back and I was almost certain it was a cyst. But then it never went away. Two months and still this pain is here. So I made another appointment. He thinks its probably and infection. Its not. Maybe its a cyst? Nope. So he asked me to come back later in the day so we could rule out a tumor, mass, or anuerism.

This is not my first rodeo at this. The most frustrating thing was not knowing what that test held for me but more so the fear that once again, I'm not going to know. I was almost to the point that bad news was better than no news. This has gone on long enough.

Well... good news is that nothing is harming my health. No mass, no tumor, no anuerism, no flesh eating virus, no infection. I have a nerve that's difficult basically.

The way he explained it was a part of a nerve that runs down my abdomen gets irritated every once in a while and causes this pain. Sometimes is sharp and stabbing because there is a trigger point that is being irritated. My body will heal it on its own eventually and then later down the road it may come back. It is probably a recurring problem. There is nothing you can do for it unless you go to an anesthesiologist and get the nerve deadened, which has no guarantees of permanent results.

He gave this to me as an option but I passed. I realize that the reality of it all is that nothing is causing this other than my nerve is irritable. I don't personally feel right just deadening pain without eliminating the cause. Since there is no cause other than bad luck, I've just chosen to live with it.

There's the update for you. I chose to share because some of you have been right there through some of these bouts and I thought you'd want to know the final verdict. Its good news. I'm realizing that more and more.

The Day the Preacher's Head Exploded

2009-02-05T11:12:00.002-06:00

Alright, so the title is misleading... At no point in my life have I witnessed a preacher's head exploding... scratch that... At no point in my life have I witnessed a head exploding.

But... I did drive a preacher to go off on my husband... and so the story unfolds...

Justin and I were in Dallas, TX shooting the beautiful Christine's wedding (pay attention to that... its important later). Upon arriving at the church, Justin and I ask the wedding coordinator what the rules are regarding photography during the ceremony. She says, "You can have one person on the stage that is stationary. No flash during the ceremony. That's about it."

The way this church is set up, the fact that one of us could be on stage was good news. It was a beautiful church, but not set up to get close shots while staying out of the way. So I sat... SAT... in a pew on the stage where I was not visible to about 90% of the audience.

I got some amazing shots. I was excited while shooting because the angle I had and the lighting was amazing. After the ceremony, I went to switch cameras with Justin so I could take some shots outside of the wedding party while they were waiting for the church to clear. I came back in to give Justin his camera back and he leans down and whispers, "Stay away from the preacher. He's cranky."

Well that's all I need to know. If you know me well you know that there are some days where I'm the most patient person ever. Then there are days where I have no patience and am difficult to censor. This was a day of the latter. So I stayed away from him.

Here's the story of what happened...

The preacher came up to Justin after the ceremony and said, "Who was that woman taking pictures on the stage?"

Justin: "That was my wife."

Preacher: "Well I didn't appreciate how loud the camera was. The mic was picking up the sound."

Justin: "Well I'm sorry sir. We spoke with the wedding coordinator before the wedding and she said it was okay for us to be up there."

Preacher: "Well normally it is. But you know you can turn the sound off on those digital cameras."

(PAUSE) No you cannot. That is ridiculous. We aren't shooting with a point and shoot here sir.

Justin: "Actually, sir, you can't. That is a mechanical function of the camera."

Preacher: "Well if you are going to be using an old mechanical camera then she doesn't need to take pictures every two seconds."

At this point, the wonderful Christine interrupts and Justin no longer speaks to preacher.

Here's the best part and the good reason I was not near when this happened...

During the ceremony, my camera may have been loud. Maybe. But what I am certain was picked up on the microphone was the preacher calling the bride "Allison" three times during the ceremony. Her name is Christine.

For the rest of the day I referred to him as "Preacher Poopy Pants".